RP with nothingunderit | Aftermath

[likebraveheart]

[rockmeall_night to join eventually]She could be given something for the nausea. Hell, she could be given something for the dizziness. But they couldn't give her something to turn back the clock a month to stop herself making these stupid mistakes leaving her in a surreal aftermath right now that she didn't know how to handle. As soon as Braden had backed out of

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[likebraveheart]

Kenzie gave a small nod, agreeing with whatever he was saying because right now it made a whole lot more sense than anything her brain was trying to throw out there as rational. It had still been drizzling outside and her hair was lightly damp, but she knew that wasn't the sole reason she was shivering. There was bigger fish to fry here than just get fucking caught in a wee rain. She accepted the bathrobe off him, kicked off her shoes and just left the room to head for the bathroom. Hopefully if she washed away some of this horrible guilt and shame, she might start to feel better.

Why Braden was still there help her, she had no idea. She didn't deserve it. Divorced, thirty, and fucking knocked up by what could be any number of blokes she had slept with that week her divorce came through. She knew some of them as acquaintances, but the others had been strangers, one night stands... and it could be any of them. She closed the bathroom door behind her and turned the shower on hard so the spray was sharp, and then stripped down naked. As soon as she stepped into the cubicle and let the glass door swing closed behind her, she leant against it and let the tears come all over again.

[nothingunderit]

Braden waited until he heard the sound of the shower start up in the distance and then let his shoulders slump before he sat down on the end of her bed and scratched his fingers through his blond hair. He was really tired by this point, but he didn't want to leave her alone until he knew she was going to be okay. He was worried about her, worried how she was taking this. At first, he hadn't been able to understand why hearing the doctor tell Kenzie she was pregnant made him feel so sick, but it had.

Realising it was jealousy came as a low blow, but it had struck him with the realisation that he had feelings for her. He maybe even had for awhile, but hadn't let himself stick on in to see the forest through the trees. Sleeping with her forced it to the forefront, but there had been no time to analyse it or process before this came. This, that just made him feel like it was a one way ticket to not only sign out on their friendship, but also anything that might have been possible between them. Just, everytime he looked at her, the urge to protect her hit him in the face and his head felt like it was stuck in the spin cycle of a washing machine. After a few moments, he pushed up tiredly from the bed and went through to the kitchen to make the tea. As promised, he had a pot of it waiting in her room for her when she got back from the shower and he was standing by the window looking out at drizzly Edinburgh lost in his thoughts when she did.

[likebraveheart]

Kenzie was in her tartan pyjamas, red fluffy slippers and her bathroom when she came back to her room. Her legs felt like jelly and she shot him a grateful look when she saw that he had gone to the effort of making real tea for her. How did he know it's what she had been hungered for this past week or so? Now she didn't even want to stop and think that it could have been a sign, something that could have prepared her for this and not let it come as such a shock. If she had known she was pregnant, she would never have asked him to sleep with her. She would never have hurt him like that in forcing him to face this.

She went over to her bed and laid down, curling up in a ball on her side. She gathered her composure again after the tears in the shower. Now she felt like she wanted to go to bed and not get up ever again. "You should go home... sleep. You've been up too. Dinnae want to be relapsing on that virus. I'm sorry you've been kept up so long. But I... I... g-glad you didnae leave me alone to face it by myself."

[nothingunderit]

There was no hesitation when Braden left the window to come over to her bedside. He crouched down beside her with a small smile and then started to stroke his fingers through her hair in soothing strokes. "I wouldnae have left you alone, okay? I dinnae know what's going on in your mind right now, and you probably dinnae even know, but if you want to talk about it, I can listen. I cannae profess to have any answers... I really cannae. Nay me. But I can be here and you dinnae have to be on your own while you try to process this."

He drew in a small breath and wet his lip. "Why dinnae I go hame, have a wee wash, and get some clothes. Then I can come back here and crash on the couch. I'll just be right there if you need anything, then. I mean, you dinnae have to say aye, but if you dinnae want to be alone, I can come back. I'd stay now, but post-shift, it's gotta be a wee bit on the whiffy side, like. I willnae be long. Or maybe you want to be alone now, and I can go. Just... call me, let me know how you are? I... I'd do anything for you, Kenzie. I cannae know how you're feeling, but I can make sure you're okay while you're trying to figure it out. If you want me to, mind." His hand shifted from her hand down to her face and he stroked his thumb across his cheek as he fell silent.

[likebraveheart]

Kenzie gave her head a slight shake. "No," she said shakily as it felt like more tears were threatening, but she held them back. "I mean, aye... aye, stay. I mean go. Go, then come back," she finally clarifed, her forehead creasing in slight distress when it was hard to follow her emotions and thoughts. "But I dinnae want you to sleep on the couch. I want you to come back, and lie here in bed with me and just... cuddle me. I just really, really need a hug right now. If you want to do something to try and help, sweetheart, I just want a hug and to nay be alone. That's all. I'll be a wreck if I think about you lying out there on a sofa trying to sleep when you should be in a warm bed resting up yourself."

She had to paused and let her eyes close for a minute when they got stingy with unshed tears again. The shock was setting in now, and it wasn't mixing well with lack of sleep. "I cannae ask anything more of you, Braden. I wouldnae. Nay now."

[nothingunderit]

Braden was biting on his lower lip and let his elbows rest on the bed beside her. He was quiet at first, absorbing her words and trying to get some clarity out of them. "What if I want you to?"

[likebraveheart]

Kenzie swallowed thickly and had to painfully fight the urge not to crawl into his lap and try to disappear there forever. Instead, she just gave him a soft laugh an pushed forward to press a kiss to his forehead, rubbing his arm through his uniform sleeve. "I'd say you were mental and really need sleep," she joked, even if she was watching him with a concerned frown on her face. She had been so close to asking him out before the results came. Now she just couldn't help but think anything he gave her would just be charity because he was such a sweetheart who didn't want to see her hurting.

"Go hame, get a shower. If you still feel like coming back then, I promise, I've nay plans on moving much. You know how the mattress feels. There's a spot there for you if you want it, sweetheart," she murmured. "I'm tough, Bradie. As nails. You'll see. You dinnae need to worry." The words hurt as they fell from her lips, but it was her turn to protect him now.

[nothingunderit]

Braden felt a little like he was booted in the gut, but he just sucked in a breath and stood up with a nod. "I'll come back in a wee while. See how you're doing," he promised her quietly. "You should try and sleep after you have your tea." He leaned over to give her hand a small squeeze and then left the room, closing the door over behind him. He could well take a hint when it was shoved in his face like that. He might be the quiet sort, but he wasn't a sucker for punishment.