I love this. Love. It. I love that it was long so that I could keep fucking reading it.
There's always something about him that immediately pings him as still in his packaging, some shine of cellophane he hasn't figured out how to tear off yet, and he always gets fucking carded, even in the diviest dives where nobody's gotten that treatment since before Derek Jeter was a rookie. Love this. Perfect description.
He hasn't even seen LA or Tampa Bay yet, cities with teams that actually matter Oh man how weird it is to me, that Tampa Bay is now definitively a city with a team that matters.
Ryan Perry's cat!!!!!! !!! !!!!!somemore!!!!!!!!
But they're always like, "Kid, this is where Todd Jones brought us. You too good for Todd Jones? Huh?" Fucking lol. Todd Jones' class did top out at bringing your own keg tap to the party, though, so... accurate.
What Porcello does know is that he just slept with a walking cautionary tale: don't throw so much when you're young or you'll break and stay broken, and people will shake their heads when your name comes up. How fucking awesome. I love the idea that sleeping with the pitching cautionary tale is a thing. If that makes sense, which it probably doesn't, but I love it, so, whatever.
"Chocolate is cure for everything," Galarraga says Yes. And I love Armando in this. Like, ever so much.
He's not even, like, Kung-Fu Panda. NO, THAT'S PABLO SANDOVAL.
Dude, gay sex or girl sex, it was still Fredrick Alfred sex going down on that couch-which, no offense, but ew. Frederick Alfred sex. That is putting it perfectly, sums up his whole uptight-proper schtick right there. In the name. What were his parents expecting, with that name? I mean, really.
I don't mean dicking around with those two chuckleheads before a game idk if Leyland does actually say 'chuckleheads', but it seems like a perfect Leyland word.
She was a Wolverine and a French major. She liked golf. Oh ok, so I automatically like her, right there. Mmmhm.
"I've really enjoyed being your roommate," he says. "Like, shit, Rick. I'm going to tell people how I got to room with Rick Porcello his rookie year for probably the rest of my life." Dusty Ryan, why are you so adorable here?
So, yes. This was greatness. I make jazz hands at it.
OMG, I have gleeface on and jazzhands of my own over this comment. Dude!
Couple different kinds of cautionary tale, man. I think the biggest one is 'don't fuck your relievers and expect it to end well,' but this story isn't over yet, y'know. Just wait 'til Perry gets traded or something. Then I get to write tragedy or somesuch, and I'd rather write that every day of the week.
I want to go to a Giants fan fest and just ask Panda to hug me. I don't want anybody's signature (okay, maybe Brian Wilson, but I'm not going near Zito's crazy face), I just want a Pablo Sandoval hug.
Oh, crud. I misspelled "Frederick." Wow, self. Glaring fail. Also, yes. That name.
I have such a soft spot for irascible old men. I wish Leyland had gotten a bigger part. Indeed, there was a deleted/aborted scene I may still write that has lots of room for Leylandness.
Thank you so, so much for this glorious comment. This fandom, it appears, gives some damn good comment.
How did I spell it? Jesus, don't pay attention to my spelling in comments, they're usually incoherent. I think you had it right originally, 'Fredrick', with just the one E? Or... huh, actually I have no idea. Wikipedia and Baseball Reference have it spelled differently. And of course the Tigers page doesn't have his full name.
Oh my god now I'm seeing it spelled both ways all over the internet. I DUNNO, MAN.
There's always something about him that immediately pings him as still in his packaging, some shine of cellophane he hasn't figured out how to tear off yet, and he always gets fucking carded, even in the diviest dives where nobody's gotten that treatment since before Derek Jeter was a rookie. Love this. Perfect description.
He hasn't even seen LA or Tampa Bay yet, cities with teams that actually matter Oh man how weird it is to me, that Tampa Bay is now definitively a city with a team that matters.
Ryan Perry's cat!!!!!! !!! !!!!!somemore!!!!!!!!
But they're always like, "Kid, this is where Todd Jones brought us. You too good for Todd Jones? Huh?" Fucking lol. Todd Jones' class did top out at bringing your own keg tap to the party, though, so... accurate.
What Porcello does know is that he just slept with a walking cautionary tale: don't throw so much when you're young or you'll break and stay broken, and people will shake their heads when your name comes up. How fucking awesome. I love the idea that sleeping with the pitching cautionary tale is a thing. If that makes sense, which it probably doesn't, but I love it, so, whatever.
"Chocolate is cure for everything," Galarraga says Yes. And I love Armando in this. Like, ever so much.
He's not even, like, Kung-Fu Panda. NO, THAT'S PABLO SANDOVAL.
Dude, gay sex or girl sex, it was still Fredrick Alfred sex going down on that couch-which, no offense, but ew. Frederick Alfred sex. That is putting it perfectly, sums up his whole uptight-proper schtick right there. In the name. What were his parents expecting, with that name? I mean, really.
I don't mean dicking around with those two chuckleheads before a game idk if Leyland does actually say 'chuckleheads', but it seems like a perfect Leyland word.
She was a Wolverine and a French major. She liked golf. Oh ok, so I automatically like her, right there. Mmmhm.
"I've really enjoyed being your roommate," he says. "Like, shit, Rick. I'm going to tell people how I got to room with Rick Porcello his rookie year for probably the rest of my life." Dusty Ryan, why are you so adorable here?
So, yes. This was greatness. I make jazz hands at it.
Reply
Couple different kinds of cautionary tale, man. I think the biggest one is 'don't fuck your relievers and expect it to end well,' but this story isn't over yet, y'know. Just wait 'til Perry gets traded or something. Then I get to write tragedy or somesuch, and I'd rather write that every day of the week.
I want to go to a Giants fan fest and just ask Panda to hug me. I don't want anybody's signature (okay, maybe Brian Wilson, but I'm not going near Zito's crazy face), I just want a Pablo Sandoval hug.
Oh, crud. I misspelled "Frederick." Wow, self. Glaring fail. Also, yes. That name.
I have such a soft spot for irascible old men. I wish Leyland had gotten a bigger part. Indeed, there was a deleted/aborted scene I may still write that has lots of room for Leylandness.
Thank you so, so much for this glorious comment. This fandom, it appears, gives some damn good comment.
Reply
Oh my god now I'm seeing it spelled both ways all over the internet. I DUNNO, MAN.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment