Imperfectly Perfect Chp 7
Title: Imperfectly Perfect (8/?)
Author: xlolitsnozomix
Pairing: Hankyung / Heechul
Rating: R for now..
Genre: angst, romance, fluff, AU, suspense
Words: 2500
Summary: Life has always been sort of quiet, content, and dreamlike for Kim Heechul. Unfortunately, nothing gold can stay, as he learns the hard way, when his perfect world goes tumbling upside down, inside out, and everything he thought he knew crumbles to ruins. Hankyung and Heechul are put through the ultimate test to see just how strong their love is for each other. How far would they go?
A/N: a mixture of angst and whimsicality this time around. Hope you'll like it. thanks for reading, everyone ♥
---
Couches have never been ideal places for Hangeng to sleep because they always end up hurting his back - especially ones that are too short for his legs.
The couch in their living room is one exactly like that, but he doesn’t complain a single bit when he is forced to sleep there that night, curling up on an unfamiliar coarse blanket he found in the linen closet. The first realization that hits him hardest is the missing warmth of Heechul’s body beside his and his comforting soft touches that brush away all his worries and those sweet breaths against Hangeng’s skin. This causes him to curl up into a desolate ball, covering his face with the blanket that smells of musk and he almost wants to cry, but forces himself to keep it together because this is only the first night and there’s probably going to be more of these to come so he might as well suck it up and get used to it.
The sooner the better, anyways.
---
The next day is a gloomy one and Hangeng leaves early in the morning - earlier than usual-- off to work and he notes that the bedroom is still shut; he’s also pretty positive Heechul had not come out during the night at all so he must have been using the restroom connected to the bedroom.
He comes back at lunch and the door is still glued shut and he tries feebly to knock on the door ever so lightly and call Heechul out to have some chicken salad or something so he won’t starve to death. There’s no response for a long time though, only the muffled conversations from the television.
A heavy, empty silence fills the air and Hangeng’s heart falls a little deeper, wondering when Heechul will understand why Hangeng had done all of this. But it’s okay - in the end it’s still his fault so he shouldn’t even expect any kind of forgiveness from Heechul.
“I’ll leave it outside the door with some soup if you get hungry later,” Hangeng says quietly, placing the food down on the tray in front of the door, and finally, turning to tiptoe silently away.
---
It’s always been much easier for Hangeng to deal with brutal, direct anger like a slap to his face rather than with a smoldering, hidden anger. He hates being ignored. For some reason, it’s just so much more difficult to handle when someone’s pretending that nothing is wrong.
That evening, when he drives home in the foggy, damp weather, he feels panic rising in his chest. From that other night till now, he has not known what Heechul’s true thoughts are. What if he is thinking completely ridiculous things? What if he is being stupid? To be completely honest, he’d much rather just have Heechul throw a huge tantrum and beat him up and then be over it-that way it’s so much more bearable than watching Heechul shut himself away.
---
He returns home to find the food completely untouched and when he sees it there, it hits him hard like a punch in the stomach and he almost wants to fall on his knees and bawl like a little kid because honestly - why is Heechul doing this to himself?
He shouldn’t be hurting himself over something that is Hangeng’s issue. He shouldn’t ever be hurting himself over anything like tihs. He doesn’t deserve this.
But then he sees the devoured sandwiches he made that morning and a wave of relief washes over him, so strong that it’s almost drowning out his painful heartache.
---
By now there are no less than a couple dozen of tissues scrunched up and littered all on the floor and on his bed, and Heechul can barely see through his massively swollen eyes and his constantly running nose.
It’s gotten so bad that he can’t even see the small print on his book anymore and so his worst nightmare has finally come true - he can’t read anymore! Everything’s become so blurry and tiny because of his swollen eyelids that he can’t even open his eyes normally anymore.
In any case, hunger is also an issue because he’s almost on the verge of starving to death by dinnertime and the only thing he’s had all day are two little sandwiches.
Of course, Heechul’s always been an obstinate one so he refuses to even step out of bed and rejects the thought of even opening that door. He’s pretty sure he heard Hangeng come home earlier and well, he’s obviously not going to give up so soon just for some food. That would be pitiful.
Heechul’s always been one to stand his ground, so no, he definitely cannot back down now.
Now all that’s left for him to do is to succumb to watching the overly dramatic depressing dramas that are constantly replaying every night on television and he flips to a one that seems suitably miserable enough and snuggles underneath the covers, pulling them up to his face and trying hard to make out the actors’ faces through his swollen eyes.
Then he catches a whiff of Hangeng’s scent through the sheets and he’s bawling again, another box of tissues emptied by midnight.
---
It had always been their dream to travel to Europe together. Just spend a summer touring Europe without a care in the world. Heechul had always dreamed of having breakfast in France and then lunch in Italy; he always imagined taking leisurely walks together on the lakeshores of Ireland, breathing in the fresh scent of the rolling grasslands in Scotland.
There are so many things they had wanted to do and Hangeng and once promised Heechul that one day they would go there and really do all of those things. They would visit all the grand museums that Heechul seemed to adore so much and they could just stretch out on the countryside grass and stare up at the clear, smog-free sky and watch the clouds roll by.
They could have legitimate French pastries from real French pâtissiers and enjoy breakfast in a hotel room with a view of the Eiffel Tower. They could have hot coffee freshly brewed with real French baguettes. They could go browsing for hours or days if they wanted at flea markets in Madrid or Florence or London.
Together, they could explore the infamous haunted castles that lined the streets of England and run away screaming like little girls when they get scared. If given a chance, Heechul would just wish everything away and daydream that they are on this trip right now, right this moment, right at this second. He wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing, not a single hassle at all because he’d be too overwhelmed by the flood of happiness in his heart from the abrupt liberation of his burdens.
He wants to spend sunny afternoons with Hangeng right now; he wants to inhale deeply the smell of roasting corn on the humid street markets and then settle down for the night in a luxurious hotel room designed like they had traveled back in time to the Victorian era.
Not this. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to be sitting alone in this empty, barren bedroom crying his eyes out and feeling like the most miserable thing that’s ever been born. He doesn’t want to feel all this anger, all this bitterness, nor all this self-pity. It’s pathetic really - what is he even doing?
It isn’t supposed to be this way.
---
Another three days pass by and Heechul is literally living off of saltine crackers and instant orange juice mix - this foul tasting powder that he pours into bottled water and drinks over the span of several hours to add a bit of flavor into his now nonexistent life.
His favorite thing to do to pass the time is to sit inside the bathtub and fill it up with steaming hot water and cucumber melon bubble bath liquid. He then soaks himself for hours while immersed in novel after novel after novel until he comes out pasty white and wrinkly like a prune all over.
Then he lumbers into bed, flicks on the television and watches it for about a total of ten minutes before he falls asleep with it on, ends of his hair still damp, and cravings of French fries and waffles on his mouth just as he drifts off to sleep.
The bookstore hasn’t opened for a total of four days now and he hopelessly wonders if all the regulars think he’s contracted some kind of chronic disease or something, or maybe he went on vacation, which actually wouldn’t be too bad of a reason. It’s kind of nice though, knowing that his precious books have been untouched by human hands for the past couple of days and that they are all intact and safe.
---
“Heechul, please come out and eat something. You’ll get really sick soon of you keep this up. You’ll end up going in the hospital. I know you don’t want that…” Hangeng pleads desperately, knocking quietly on the still shut door. “I made your favorite dishes tonight…please, Heechul, come out just for a little bit?”
He’s making progress because Heechul grunts in response. However, he still makes no effort to walk anywhere even near the door and avoids it as though it’s the plague.
---
The fifth night is the night that Heechul’s stubborn upfront starts to crumble because for the first time in days, Hangeng actually sees Heechul’s face. The door opens easily enough and Hangeng is just a tad late to realize it had not been locked this entire time when he kept thinking it was.
Strangely enough, the reason that Hangeng is so shocked and in awe when he sees Heechul is not because he’s seeing Heechul for the first time in ages (though that might have had something to do with it), it’s because he notices the puffy, purple eye bags hanging heavily underneath each eye.
“I’m hungry,” Heechul announces to Hangeng across the hallway, two books in hand and glasses perched atop his nose. Hangeng looks up at him curiously and upon hearing those words, his face brightens up and he smiles as if it’s the first time he’s seeing the sun in years.
“Yes, sir,” Hangeng replies and immediately rushes to the kitchen to make something nice and hot for Heechul’s first real dinner in days.
Heechul cuts cucumber slices and puts them on his eyes while he lies down on the couch, waiting for his dinner to finish cooking.
---
Heechul’s always been kind of an impulsive person, like that time when they were lying on the couch, bored to tears and Heechul had run out of books to read, so in the end he came up with some grand ideas to “pass the time” as he called it.
They ended up going bungee jumping.
If it were really up to Hangeng at all, he would have never thought of bungee jumping as something to pass the time.
It seemed as though Heechul really enjoyed the adventure though, and he smiled and laughed loudly the whole way down as the wind whipped his hair violently and those red streaks flickered before Hangeng’s eyes and he could see how truly beautiful this man was for the millionth time. And then when Heechul laughed carefreely - it was crystal clear and smooth like tinkling glass and Hangeng had always wanted to buy wind chimes ever since that time. He wanted to grab Heechul and crush their lips together as they tumbled headfirst down from the sky, wanted to taste the fresh wind inside of Heechul’s mouth. It was so refreshing - an image or an urge he’d never really felt so strongly before. But of course, they were too far away from each other for Hangeng to pull Heechul close to him.
In the end, he settled for grabbing the red-head intensely after they had dispatched and were safely on the ground. He pulled him in using the various dangling strings on Heechul’s shirt and locked their mouths together and Heechul had weakly protested but it was too late because he kissed him back just as fiercely and Hangeng has whispered, “You’re so crazy, Heechul.”
And Heechul had smirked in return, not having to say another word for Hangeng to get the message. “But it’s okay, because you make up for the lack of adventure in me,” Hangeng said teasingly and Heechul had smirked even more delightfully.
From then on, Hangeng never again doubted Heechul’s impulsive streak and his addiction for wild, daring adventure that put him on the edge of life.
Which didn’t make sense why he would be doubting Heechul now.
---
“I want to go on vacation,” are the first words Hangeng hears when Heechul puts down the spoon, clinking it inside the empty bowl of soup he has just devoured.
There’s no appropriate answer so Hangeng just stares at Heechul for a moment, “What?” he finally asks, fingers still fumbling with each other because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch Heechul yet so he holds back.
“I said…we should go on a vacation,” repeats Heechul nonchalantly, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “A long vacation…”
Hangeng can’t register the thought of Heechul wanting to go for a leisurely trip when he’s still supposed to be hating Hangeng’s guts right now and when he’s supposed to be fully aware that there is a group of very dangerous Chinese mafia that happen to be going after them.
“Wait…why?” Hangeng asks again, desperate to know what’s going on. Why is Heechul being so difficult?
“I just want to go on a trip. Is there a problem with that?” are the casual, careless words that fall from Heechul’s mouth. He raises an eyebrow at Hangeng and flicks a couple locks of hair behind his shoulder. “Do you have a problem with that?” he repeats, almost annoyed now.
It takes Hangeng less than a second to respond, “N-no! Of course not. Yeah, sure let’s go on a vacation right now. Whatever you want is fine.” His heart is beating ridiculously fast now at the prospect of having Heechul actually talking to him again.
It’s probably the fact that Hangeng would much, much rather have Heechul be a little crazy and impulsive than have him be angry at Hangeng for God knows how long again and starve himself. Again.
He realizes this is probably the best chance they could have of spending some more of the dwindling time they have together before something really drastic happens. A pang of regret strikes him in the chest at the thought of this trip being the last time they spend real quality time together. He almost wants to grab Heechul back and tell him that he doesn’t want to go because it might be the last time they can go anywhere together. It almost breaks him down but he hides it by plastering a bright smile on his and getting up from his chair, announcing loudly, “Let’s do this! Let’s go on vacation!”
---
Author: xlolitsnozomix
Pairing: Hankyung / Heechul
Rating: R for now..
Genre: angst, romance, fluff, AU, suspense
Words: 2500
Summary: Life has always been sort of quiet, content, and dreamlike for Kim Heechul. Unfortunately, nothing gold can stay, as he learns the hard way, when his perfect world goes tumbling upside down, inside out, and everything he thought he knew crumbles to ruins. Hankyung and Heechul are put through the ultimate test to see just how strong their love is for each other. How far would they go?
A/N: a mixture of angst and whimsicality this time around. Hope you'll like it. thanks for reading, everyone ♥
---
Couches have never been ideal places for Hangeng to sleep because they always end up hurting his back - especially ones that are too short for his legs.
The couch in their living room is one exactly like that, but he doesn’t complain a single bit when he is forced to sleep there that night, curling up on an unfamiliar coarse blanket he found in the linen closet. The first realization that hits him hardest is the missing warmth of Heechul’s body beside his and his comforting soft touches that brush away all his worries and those sweet breaths against Hangeng’s skin. This causes him to curl up into a desolate ball, covering his face with the blanket that smells of musk and he almost wants to cry, but forces himself to keep it together because this is only the first night and there’s probably going to be more of these to come so he might as well suck it up and get used to it.
The sooner the better, anyways.
---
The next day is a gloomy one and Hangeng leaves early in the morning - earlier than usual-- off to work and he notes that the bedroom is still shut; he’s also pretty positive Heechul had not come out during the night at all so he must have been using the restroom connected to the bedroom.
He comes back at lunch and the door is still glued shut and he tries feebly to knock on the door ever so lightly and call Heechul out to have some chicken salad or something so he won’t starve to death. There’s no response for a long time though, only the muffled conversations from the television.
A heavy, empty silence fills the air and Hangeng’s heart falls a little deeper, wondering when Heechul will understand why Hangeng had done all of this. But it’s okay - in the end it’s still his fault so he shouldn’t even expect any kind of forgiveness from Heechul.
“I’ll leave it outside the door with some soup if you get hungry later,” Hangeng says quietly, placing the food down on the tray in front of the door, and finally, turning to tiptoe silently away.
---
It’s always been much easier for Hangeng to deal with brutal, direct anger like a slap to his face rather than with a smoldering, hidden anger. He hates being ignored. For some reason, it’s just so much more difficult to handle when someone’s pretending that nothing is wrong.
That evening, when he drives home in the foggy, damp weather, he feels panic rising in his chest. From that other night till now, he has not known what Heechul’s true thoughts are. What if he is thinking completely ridiculous things? What if he is being stupid? To be completely honest, he’d much rather just have Heechul throw a huge tantrum and beat him up and then be over it-that way it’s so much more bearable than watching Heechul shut himself away.
---
He returns home to find the food completely untouched and when he sees it there, it hits him hard like a punch in the stomach and he almost wants to fall on his knees and bawl like a little kid because honestly - why is Heechul doing this to himself?
He shouldn’t be hurting himself over something that is Hangeng’s issue. He shouldn’t ever be hurting himself over anything like tihs. He doesn’t deserve this.
But then he sees the devoured sandwiches he made that morning and a wave of relief washes over him, so strong that it’s almost drowning out his painful heartache.
---
By now there are no less than a couple dozen of tissues scrunched up and littered all on the floor and on his bed, and Heechul can barely see through his massively swollen eyes and his constantly running nose.
It’s gotten so bad that he can’t even see the small print on his book anymore and so his worst nightmare has finally come true - he can’t read anymore! Everything’s become so blurry and tiny because of his swollen eyelids that he can’t even open his eyes normally anymore.
In any case, hunger is also an issue because he’s almost on the verge of starving to death by dinnertime and the only thing he’s had all day are two little sandwiches.
Of course, Heechul’s always been an obstinate one so he refuses to even step out of bed and rejects the thought of even opening that door. He’s pretty sure he heard Hangeng come home earlier and well, he’s obviously not going to give up so soon just for some food. That would be pitiful.
Heechul’s always been one to stand his ground, so no, he definitely cannot back down now.
Now all that’s left for him to do is to succumb to watching the overly dramatic depressing dramas that are constantly replaying every night on television and he flips to a one that seems suitably miserable enough and snuggles underneath the covers, pulling them up to his face and trying hard to make out the actors’ faces through his swollen eyes.
Then he catches a whiff of Hangeng’s scent through the sheets and he’s bawling again, another box of tissues emptied by midnight.
---
It had always been their dream to travel to Europe together. Just spend a summer touring Europe without a care in the world. Heechul had always dreamed of having breakfast in France and then lunch in Italy; he always imagined taking leisurely walks together on the lakeshores of Ireland, breathing in the fresh scent of the rolling grasslands in Scotland.
There are so many things they had wanted to do and Hangeng and once promised Heechul that one day they would go there and really do all of those things. They would visit all the grand museums that Heechul seemed to adore so much and they could just stretch out on the countryside grass and stare up at the clear, smog-free sky and watch the clouds roll by.
They could have legitimate French pastries from real French pâtissiers and enjoy breakfast in a hotel room with a view of the Eiffel Tower. They could have hot coffee freshly brewed with real French baguettes. They could go browsing for hours or days if they wanted at flea markets in Madrid or Florence or London.
Together, they could explore the infamous haunted castles that lined the streets of England and run away screaming like little girls when they get scared. If given a chance, Heechul would just wish everything away and daydream that they are on this trip right now, right this moment, right at this second. He wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing, not a single hassle at all because he’d be too overwhelmed by the flood of happiness in his heart from the abrupt liberation of his burdens.
He wants to spend sunny afternoons with Hangeng right now; he wants to inhale deeply the smell of roasting corn on the humid street markets and then settle down for the night in a luxurious hotel room designed like they had traveled back in time to the Victorian era.
Not this. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to be sitting alone in this empty, barren bedroom crying his eyes out and feeling like the most miserable thing that’s ever been born. He doesn’t want to feel all this anger, all this bitterness, nor all this self-pity. It’s pathetic really - what is he even doing?
It isn’t supposed to be this way.
---
Another three days pass by and Heechul is literally living off of saltine crackers and instant orange juice mix - this foul tasting powder that he pours into bottled water and drinks over the span of several hours to add a bit of flavor into his now nonexistent life.
His favorite thing to do to pass the time is to sit inside the bathtub and fill it up with steaming hot water and cucumber melon bubble bath liquid. He then soaks himself for hours while immersed in novel after novel after novel until he comes out pasty white and wrinkly like a prune all over.
Then he lumbers into bed, flicks on the television and watches it for about a total of ten minutes before he falls asleep with it on, ends of his hair still damp, and cravings of French fries and waffles on his mouth just as he drifts off to sleep.
The bookstore hasn’t opened for a total of four days now and he hopelessly wonders if all the regulars think he’s contracted some kind of chronic disease or something, or maybe he went on vacation, which actually wouldn’t be too bad of a reason. It’s kind of nice though, knowing that his precious books have been untouched by human hands for the past couple of days and that they are all intact and safe.
---
“Heechul, please come out and eat something. You’ll get really sick soon of you keep this up. You’ll end up going in the hospital. I know you don’t want that…” Hangeng pleads desperately, knocking quietly on the still shut door. “I made your favorite dishes tonight…please, Heechul, come out just for a little bit?”
He’s making progress because Heechul grunts in response. However, he still makes no effort to walk anywhere even near the door and avoids it as though it’s the plague.
---
The fifth night is the night that Heechul’s stubborn upfront starts to crumble because for the first time in days, Hangeng actually sees Heechul’s face. The door opens easily enough and Hangeng is just a tad late to realize it had not been locked this entire time when he kept thinking it was.
Strangely enough, the reason that Hangeng is so shocked and in awe when he sees Heechul is not because he’s seeing Heechul for the first time in ages (though that might have had something to do with it), it’s because he notices the puffy, purple eye bags hanging heavily underneath each eye.
“I’m hungry,” Heechul announces to Hangeng across the hallway, two books in hand and glasses perched atop his nose. Hangeng looks up at him curiously and upon hearing those words, his face brightens up and he smiles as if it’s the first time he’s seeing the sun in years.
“Yes, sir,” Hangeng replies and immediately rushes to the kitchen to make something nice and hot for Heechul’s first real dinner in days.
Heechul cuts cucumber slices and puts them on his eyes while he lies down on the couch, waiting for his dinner to finish cooking.
---
Heechul’s always been kind of an impulsive person, like that time when they were lying on the couch, bored to tears and Heechul had run out of books to read, so in the end he came up with some grand ideas to “pass the time” as he called it.
They ended up going bungee jumping.
If it were really up to Hangeng at all, he would have never thought of bungee jumping as something to pass the time.
It seemed as though Heechul really enjoyed the adventure though, and he smiled and laughed loudly the whole way down as the wind whipped his hair violently and those red streaks flickered before Hangeng’s eyes and he could see how truly beautiful this man was for the millionth time. And then when Heechul laughed carefreely - it was crystal clear and smooth like tinkling glass and Hangeng had always wanted to buy wind chimes ever since that time. He wanted to grab Heechul and crush their lips together as they tumbled headfirst down from the sky, wanted to taste the fresh wind inside of Heechul’s mouth. It was so refreshing - an image or an urge he’d never really felt so strongly before. But of course, they were too far away from each other for Hangeng to pull Heechul close to him.
In the end, he settled for grabbing the red-head intensely after they had dispatched and were safely on the ground. He pulled him in using the various dangling strings on Heechul’s shirt and locked their mouths together and Heechul had weakly protested but it was too late because he kissed him back just as fiercely and Hangeng has whispered, “You’re so crazy, Heechul.”
And Heechul had smirked in return, not having to say another word for Hangeng to get the message. “But it’s okay, because you make up for the lack of adventure in me,” Hangeng said teasingly and Heechul had smirked even more delightfully.
From then on, Hangeng never again doubted Heechul’s impulsive streak and his addiction for wild, daring adventure that put him on the edge of life.
Which didn’t make sense why he would be doubting Heechul now.
---
“I want to go on vacation,” are the first words Hangeng hears when Heechul puts down the spoon, clinking it inside the empty bowl of soup he has just devoured.
There’s no appropriate answer so Hangeng just stares at Heechul for a moment, “What?” he finally asks, fingers still fumbling with each other because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch Heechul yet so he holds back.
“I said…we should go on a vacation,” repeats Heechul nonchalantly, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “A long vacation…”
Hangeng can’t register the thought of Heechul wanting to go for a leisurely trip when he’s still supposed to be hating Hangeng’s guts right now and when he’s supposed to be fully aware that there is a group of very dangerous Chinese mafia that happen to be going after them.
“Wait…why?” Hangeng asks again, desperate to know what’s going on. Why is Heechul being so difficult?
“I just want to go on a trip. Is there a problem with that?” are the casual, careless words that fall from Heechul’s mouth. He raises an eyebrow at Hangeng and flicks a couple locks of hair behind his shoulder. “Do you have a problem with that?” he repeats, almost annoyed now.
It takes Hangeng less than a second to respond, “N-no! Of course not. Yeah, sure let’s go on a vacation right now. Whatever you want is fine.” His heart is beating ridiculously fast now at the prospect of having Heechul actually talking to him again.
It’s probably the fact that Hangeng would much, much rather have Heechul be a little crazy and impulsive than have him be angry at Hangeng for God knows how long again and starve himself. Again.
He realizes this is probably the best chance they could have of spending some more of the dwindling time they have together before something really drastic happens. A pang of regret strikes him in the chest at the thought of this trip being the last time they spend real quality time together. He almost wants to grab Heechul back and tell him that he doesn’t want to go because it might be the last time they can go anywhere together. It almost breaks him down but he hides it by plastering a bright smile on his and getting up from his chair, announcing loudly, “Let’s do this! Let’s go on vacation!”
---