(no subject)
my mind is all over the place, one second i think of eric and how i wish i could go see him and be there for him and everyone else, and it upsets me that they only want specific people at the hospital. while i guess we've had our differences , eric is still my friend and i want to be supportive, i wish it was someone else in his position cuz he doesn't deserve it at all.
the second thing on my mind is the fact that once i feel like the past is over, something happens (even if it's mostly in my own mind) to rehash my bitter feelings towards certain people. perhaps it's jealously or selfishness but i can't help how i feel. i dont wanna hold grudges anymore, specially towards people who are more or less out of my life. jen told me something that really hit home for me and really put things into perspective. she told me that i should NEVER feel bad for the way i feel. no one has ever told me that before. i've always been afraid to tell people how i feel in fear they would think i was selfish or immature or whatever else. its amazing to have a friend who is not only willing to listen but not beat me down for things even if she knows/thinks i'm being irrational. its nice to have people show empathy towards me and not just tell me thats how life is and to deal with it. i wish i had met her sooner.
thirdly it's been a fucking month where is my acceptance letter to drexel!!!!!!!
fourthly my relationship with mike is by far one of the best i've EVER had. it feels great to be so compatible, with someone. i think that after being with someone for so long that i couldn't share anything with, who i shared no common interests or ground with it's a breath of fresh air to be with someone that
A: doesn't think i'm crazy and disregard alot of the things i say
B: wants to come places with me, listens to the music i listen to, enjoys the things i do, etc.
C: isn't completely embarrassed by me
D: treats me like i'm the only girl on earth
lastly, eczema sucks.
the second thing on my mind is the fact that once i feel like the past is over, something happens (even if it's mostly in my own mind) to rehash my bitter feelings towards certain people. perhaps it's jealously or selfishness but i can't help how i feel. i dont wanna hold grudges anymore, specially towards people who are more or less out of my life. jen told me something that really hit home for me and really put things into perspective. she told me that i should NEVER feel bad for the way i feel. no one has ever told me that before. i've always been afraid to tell people how i feel in fear they would think i was selfish or immature or whatever else. its amazing to have a friend who is not only willing to listen but not beat me down for things even if she knows/thinks i'm being irrational. its nice to have people show empathy towards me and not just tell me thats how life is and to deal with it. i wish i had met her sooner.
thirdly it's been a fucking month where is my acceptance letter to drexel!!!!!!!
fourthly my relationship with mike is by far one of the best i've EVER had. it feels great to be so compatible, with someone. i think that after being with someone for so long that i couldn't share anything with, who i shared no common interests or ground with it's a breath of fresh air to be with someone that
A: doesn't think i'm crazy and disregard alot of the things i say
B: wants to come places with me, listens to the music i listen to, enjoys the things i do, etc.
C: isn't completely embarrassed by me
D: treats me like i'm the only girl on earth
lastly, eczema sucks.