so , this is the only post kay .
This is the only post im going to be making for the rest of this livejournal session, only because i need to get a point acrosss. && im venting, and good god im happy i dont have to worry abotu who the fuck reads this now :)
you never know what happens when one momment you loose one of your best friends. you were together every single day and then one momment, bam, one silly rumor, she was gone. After promiseing eachother nothing will happen. Having no fights what so ever, we never expected the biggest fight of them all, to effect our friendship that basically went shot to hell . you'll be together almost every single day for the past year, and then when highschool hits, bam- no classes, = rumors, that are not true, = no friendship . This whole thing started when people like twisting other peoples words, and then it causes a whole shitload of drama, this is supposed to be my best years of life, supposively, and it just seems to me more like the worst . if that makes sense. you look at pictures, you even look at their screenname and try to figure out whot hey're talking to , whos their new best friend just everything, it pretty much came to the fact where we'd give dirty looks in the halls, and totally deleting their screenname completely, you could actually manage to forget their phonenumber that you would always see on your caller id. The only thing left is the memories in your head, and the pictures of those memories, and the livejournal posts. man the livejournal posts, those were the best of them all. You sit there wanting a way to say sorry, you think about how you're going to say it all day long, because you're in that part of not knowing what to say, you dont knwo how to apologize, and you're scared on how they'll react, and you're scared that the same thing will just happen again, and ruin more of it. you then become friends with other friends, and the other people you used to dislike became your best friends. And the person that almost ment to you the most, (theres three that means to me the most) anyways back to my point - the person that almost meant to you the most is just a past memory. you see pictures of them with other people, and how one of your other best friends would talk about what you guys were talking about today,a nd i think in my head, that used to be me. That used to be me witht hem constantly, and that used to be me, making fun of her. And that used to be me knowing every single inch about her,and what'll she'll do next. You knew everything about thatp erson, and even what they wanted to eat, and what they were going to do without them telling you. you became that person and i loved it. I loved spending time wiht themand i know this doesnt make sense but whatever, im writeing whats all in my head. Then one day, they talk to you, when the exact same momment i was gonna apologize at the exact same time, trying to find the right words to say. it brought a part of me back, knowing we dont hate eachother anymore, but i know in my heart, i dont think it will ever be the same, and it makes me really sad cuz of it. I miss everything that happened last year, anything was just everything to me. you found out who your real friends were, and you found out who you didnt like at all. and now it just seems liek you have to start all over again. you have to remeet people you already knew, you have to just start over with yourself, just to try to fix things, but the stupid memories will always be in your head.
what i am really trying to say in the end of this, is when you found someone that is truely the greatest friend, you keep them, no matter what, cuz you dont know how hard it is when you drift apart and loose them, im hapyp i still have the friends i have right now, Melissa Jeanne Steffani Lanae, Ashlee Rose, Kayla Rae, Jordan Kaye, && the person im talking about right now, which i know everyone knows who im talking about, and everyone else you knwo who you are, I love every single one of you, and thank you for putting up with my stupid shit.♥
you never know what happens when one momment you loose one of your best friends. you were together every single day and then one momment, bam, one silly rumor, she was gone. After promiseing eachother nothing will happen. Having no fights what so ever, we never expected the biggest fight of them all, to effect our friendship that basically went shot to hell . you'll be together almost every single day for the past year, and then when highschool hits, bam- no classes, = rumors, that are not true, = no friendship . This whole thing started when people like twisting other peoples words, and then it causes a whole shitload of drama, this is supposed to be my best years of life, supposively, and it just seems to me more like the worst . if that makes sense. you look at pictures, you even look at their screenname and try to figure out whot hey're talking to , whos their new best friend just everything, it pretty much came to the fact where we'd give dirty looks in the halls, and totally deleting their screenname completely, you could actually manage to forget their phonenumber that you would always see on your caller id. The only thing left is the memories in your head, and the pictures of those memories, and the livejournal posts. man the livejournal posts, those were the best of them all. You sit there wanting a way to say sorry, you think about how you're going to say it all day long, because you're in that part of not knowing what to say, you dont knwo how to apologize, and you're scared on how they'll react, and you're scared that the same thing will just happen again, and ruin more of it. you then become friends with other friends, and the other people you used to dislike became your best friends. And the person that almost ment to you the most, (theres three that means to me the most) anyways back to my point - the person that almost meant to you the most is just a past memory. you see pictures of them with other people, and how one of your other best friends would talk about what you guys were talking about today,a nd i think in my head, that used to be me. That used to be me witht hem constantly, and that used to be me, making fun of her. And that used to be me knowing every single inch about her,and what'll she'll do next. You knew everything about thatp erson, and even what they wanted to eat, and what they were going to do without them telling you. you became that person and i loved it. I loved spending time wiht themand i know this doesnt make sense but whatever, im writeing whats all in my head. Then one day, they talk to you, when the exact same momment i was gonna apologize at the exact same time, trying to find the right words to say. it brought a part of me back, knowing we dont hate eachother anymore, but i know in my heart, i dont think it will ever be the same, and it makes me really sad cuz of it. I miss everything that happened last year, anything was just everything to me. you found out who your real friends were, and you found out who you didnt like at all. and now it just seems liek you have to start all over again. you have to remeet people you already knew, you have to just start over with yourself, just to try to fix things, but the stupid memories will always be in your head.
what i am really trying to say in the end of this, is when you found someone that is truely the greatest friend, you keep them, no matter what, cuz you dont know how hard it is when you drift apart and loose them, im hapyp i still have the friends i have right now, Melissa Jeanne Steffani Lanae, Ashlee Rose, Kayla Rae, Jordan Kaye, && the person im talking about right now, which i know everyone knows who im talking about, and everyone else you knwo who you are, I love every single one of you, and thank you for putting up with my stupid shit.♥