Aug 02, 2005 20:51
Dear whoever reads this,
because obviously my personal life has to effect everyone.
to some people, i may be a terrible person to them, just by one little thing i wrote in my livejournal earlier in my posts. my lifejournal is for me to vent and write what i choose, it dont matter if you like what i say or not, because if you dont want to know about anything what i write, then simply dont read it. I have a lot of things going on, that people dont know about and livejournal is just there for me to bring everything out, it's no threat, and nothing that will make a big deal. just maybe to myself. I dislike certain people for just a simple reason, just by their personality, or anything, i always have a reason for not likeing anyone. This livejournal is Locked for reasons, and i only allow people i trust to read it, but i guess i cant trust as many people as i thought i could. I have another livejournal which is public and anyone can read it, it has nothing containing my personal life and that would be the main reason why i created this, to prevent stupid little drama like this.
Im going to be in 9th grade next year, and i was thinking basically everyone i know, that i trust is a little more mature, to know what i mean and dont mean. I dont always mean people should go shoot themselves, i dont mean people should get hit by a bus. It was simply an "expression" everyone says things they dont mean once in a while, and thats what my entry was about earlier just little things what i need to vent on. Im sorry if anyone got some misunderstanding and causing all this drama, im just the type of person that needs to blow everything out once in a while. and i do say things i dont mean.
I regret writeing anything i say about people at dance, just because i try to keep my dance life, and my personal life out of it, and i thought my LOCKED journal was there for me to write EVERYTHING, including things from dance. I dont hate anyone, we do have a team, but sometimes i do not like things that happen there, where certain girls, would talk about people behind their backs. when we're supposed to be a team. I was mad at joanna that day, because she was talking behind my back, and no i did not mean she should do whatever i said, so much that i dont even remember what i said.
And basically my big apologies are to brittany, and her mom. I do not wish brittany should go kill herself.. it's just one big thing where she has talked about my friend one time, which made me dislike her. To me, Brittany -- you are not a nice girl in my personal opinion, because basically every other week, i always have a reason, where you'd talk about this girl, and you'd talk about another girl. i Mean come on, im not just going to sit there and take it. But i considered you my friend, because you are not always like this, you're usually the fun loving greatest dancer of all, and there are many girls that looked up to you. Maybe it was jealousy that made me write that, because of i was mad about how you'd talk about so many people, to name one Kenny. (Which was really one of my best friends,) and then you got away with it with no problem what so ever.. and when i say something. it's a big deal. I dont mean anything to
&& for what your concerned, yes my parents do know about this, it should mean something to you, for i have the guts to explain all this situation to my parents, my parents are backing me up 100%. on anything. and i think thats why Brittney your mom is backing you up, but you do have to see both sides of the situation, as im seeing both sides of mine. Yes, it was a little out of the hand to say for you to shoot yourself or anything. But it is wrong for you to walk in there, and talk about any person who may not be as good as a dancer you are, you may not mean for your attitude to be like that or you could not even realize how much people think you're like that. Im just simply trying to say, i want to start over, just because it's stupid to be like this, and we shouldnt have anything inbetween us. I'm not this person that will go oh i hate you i will bring a gun to class and shoot you blahj blah blah blah blah blah blah. it's not me.
Everyone has their blowups at times, and i know you'd be like ahh i just wish she'd just die, and not mean it, thats what simply i was saying.
I dont know, if anyone has anything to say to me, i want you to Talk to Me about it, not get anyone else involved, because this stupid drama crap that goes around, makes it worse for me, and what im going through right now.
Im done. and im sorry.
This will probably be the end of my entries for a while, until i learn who to trust again.
Ill still write in my public journal.
and yes this entry is public for a reason.