I'm so confused.....its rediculous!!
Well....today is technically monday... And I'm lying here....watching some movie!! I forgot what its called... Well yeah...a recap on the weekend!!
I worked a lot!! I got 41 hrs in at A&F! I love my job!! Its so easy... All I do is socialize and fold clothes!! And it gets me out of the apartment!! I've felt a lot better now that I've been getting out more!! I don't want to have that mind set....but I've been feeling more and more lately.... That I've wanted to be in the house less!! I can't really describe it.... But... When I was younger... I hated being home!! I mean.... I hated it!! It was my house but I just felt so depressed when I was there!!! I enjoyed being at my friends house....or just out and about!!! Looking into the now... I feel almost that same way!! It has nothing to do with the fact that there are 5 people living in the house.... Its just... When I walk in the door it can be weird.... If I don't ask someone how there day was then I'm an ass hole!!! I mean.... Its not like I don't care... But I feel that if someone wanted me to know how there day was...then they would just tell me!!! I don't expect anyone to ask me!! If I feel like talking about it....then I'll just start talking about it!!! Its that easy!! Another thing I just don't get is....the cleaning situation!! People get mad at me for not cleaning up....but really....I mostly just clean up after myself!!! Occasionally I'll forget to put away my toothbrush... But looking around the bathroom I see a straightener... A curling iron....more toothpaste....hair stuff...ect. ect. ect. And yeah... I don't put away my blankets everyday....but I just don't see the big deal!! I sleep on the floor in the living room.... I don't have a bed that I can just leave unmade....I don't purposely do it.... I just forget...or don't have time!! Or I just don't feel like doing it!!! I don't even know why I'm talking about this!! Its so stupid!!! Its pathetic and childish!!! Its stupid things like this that just seperate people!!! There are some things I don't get!!but yeah.
Work easy....saturday night.... After work....(9ish).....I took the bus home....and when I got in the door....everyone was sitting around listening to the song lucky by lucky twice it was kinda weird cause well everyone was just sitting around!! And then someone started drinking I forgot who...well yeah... I wanted to hear this song....but I couldn't figute out the name to it!! And it was really bothering me....so I tried to find it online....while I was doing that I was missing out on the drinking so that automatically made me an asshole....becuase I didn't see emi bong a beer!!! I really don't see why someone can get all something (I can't think of the word) ....just cause I didn't see someone bong a beer!!! It was making me upset... I mean. I always feel like everytime I come home someone always has to make me feel like a douche bag!!! I just don't understand!!! I didn't feel like going out that night....so I just went in the bathroom!!! I practically wanted to cry!! I just wanted to see what would happen...and if certain events did happen...then that would decide what I would do!!! Well after I left the bathroom....I went into the kitchen...and just started drinking...and yeah...I practically drank my problems away!! I got drunk...changed.... We all left the apartment... Got on the bus!! Then got on the max!!!
While on the max we met three girls!! They were like 15!!! And I think 2 of them were lesbian....and the other was straight!! They thought everyone of us was gay I think!! I'm not sure....but they thought I was the straightest guy!!! Woop woop!!! That made me happy!! I like being able to play off being straight!!! I hate feeling like I act girly unless I'm trying to do it purposely!!! Well yeah....after getting off the max downtown...(our little friends followed us) I really really really had to pee....so we wondered around what felt like...30 minutes...until we finally found "the pita pit" which had a public bathroom!!! YES!!! Well after that we arrived at our destination...."the escape" and danced the night away!!! Well for a few hours.... During that time I ripped the back of my pants to "lady marmolie".....(however its spelled)... Ironically emilia had done the same thing the week before!!! Lol.... Well yeah...after more dancing and wondering around trying to find people who just mysteriously dissapear and dancing with drag queens!! And getting there wig hair in my mouth.... We left!!!! It was raining out!!! And we started singing "rent" songs!!! We arrived at pioneer square and had to wait for the max....and to pass the time...we sang more "rent" songs!!! And some dude told us to shut up....but we kept singing anyway!! Well yeah... The max came... We sang more songs from rent.... Jared mad an ass of himself!!! A lady took a picture of us!!! And we arrived at sunset TC and we had to walk home!!! BBBBOOOO!!!! Well yeah... We started walking I talked on the phone with geoffry emi made me feel like an asshole because I was on the phone...when in reality I was just walking next to her because I didn't want her to feel left behind... Becuase I know that if she was on the phone I wouldn't have just been a bitch make.... some comment then speed ahead and leave her behind!!!! Ugh!! Well yeah...after venting to gef. My phone died and I just caught up to mel and then everyone else except emi cause she just kept going!!! And yeah...then we got home!!! I ate a huge bagle sandwich that I made...and went to sleep and had some weird dreams...I'm not sure what it was...but it was quite weird!!
The next day...I woke up....layed around...then got up....2 hours before I had to go to work....one hour before I had to catch the bus!!!!!! (Annoying) Got in the shower....then got ready for work!! Got on the bus an hour before I had to get to work!!! Got off....walked....then got to work right on time!! (Annoying) my co-worker andrea has the stomach flu!! And I kinda wanted to catch it from her....cause I heard somewhere you lose 10 lbs. or so... But then I thought that I'd probably just give it to my roomates...then they'd have more of a reason to call me a douche bag!!! So I stayed away....and yeah...work was work....got a ride home from (eliza)beth... Arrived to a very tense house....wasn't sure what was going on....and I'm still not sure what happened!! But yeah...then watched some parts of "little miss sunshine" its a cute movie...and at practically a whole tub of chocolate icecream!!!!! I'm such a fatass...and that's about it!!! Now I'm just lying in bed!!!
I've been thinking a lot lately...about geoffry....I mean...technically I'm dating him...but.... I'm not in a relationship with him!!! I know what he wants but I'm just not sure I can give it to him...I suck at relationships....and I just don't see what he sees when he tells me that he wants a relationship with me!!! I mean...really...who wants to date me!!! I'm crazy!!! I just don't see how someone can be into me!! What does he really want??? Really....what??? When we talk he asks me to visit him in seattle....or.... He talks about money!! Does he think that's what I want??? I mean...I'm poor...but I don't want to like someone for there money!!! Its so wrong!!! Does he think that I want to date someone for what they can give me physically so that's what he's trying to do....throw stuff in my face!!! I don't even know if I want a relationship with a guy!!! I'm just so lost and confused about this guy!!! I really don't know how I should feel!!! I mean...he's really nice...and I had fun when I was just hanging out with him in his car!!! But I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship!!! Like...a RELATIONSHIP!!!! Sigh!! But I guess I'll just see what happens....I know I wanna talk to him more...and hang out with him more!!! He wants me to visit him in seattle!! And I'm seriously considering it!! That's another thing....he lives like 3 hrs away!!! How the hell is that suppost to work??? Relationships are hard enough...now there's distance too!!!! He's just so persistant!!! Really...he wants what he wants...and he has to have what he wants!!! Maybe that's it!!! He wants me because I'm a challenge or something!!! Because I confuse him and he wants to figure it out!!! Idk!!! I'll just try and figure it out as we go along!!! I'm tired!!! Till next time
Roger Michael
I worked a lot!! I got 41 hrs in at A&F! I love my job!! Its so easy... All I do is socialize and fold clothes!! And it gets me out of the apartment!! I've felt a lot better now that I've been getting out more!! I don't want to have that mind set....but I've been feeling more and more lately.... That I've wanted to be in the house less!! I can't really describe it.... But... When I was younger... I hated being home!! I mean.... I hated it!! It was my house but I just felt so depressed when I was there!!! I enjoyed being at my friends house....or just out and about!!! Looking into the now... I feel almost that same way!! It has nothing to do with the fact that there are 5 people living in the house.... Its just... When I walk in the door it can be weird.... If I don't ask someone how there day was then I'm an ass hole!!! I mean.... Its not like I don't care... But I feel that if someone wanted me to know how there day was...then they would just tell me!!! I don't expect anyone to ask me!! If I feel like talking about it....then I'll just start talking about it!!! Its that easy!! Another thing I just don't get is....the cleaning situation!! People get mad at me for not cleaning up....but really....I mostly just clean up after myself!!! Occasionally I'll forget to put away my toothbrush... But looking around the bathroom I see a straightener... A curling iron....more toothpaste....hair stuff...ect. ect. ect. And yeah... I don't put away my blankets everyday....but I just don't see the big deal!! I sleep on the floor in the living room.... I don't have a bed that I can just leave unmade....I don't purposely do it.... I just forget...or don't have time!! Or I just don't feel like doing it!!! I don't even know why I'm talking about this!! Its so stupid!!! Its pathetic and childish!!! Its stupid things like this that just seperate people!!! There are some things I don't get!!but yeah.
Work easy....saturday night.... After work....(9ish).....I took the bus home....and when I got in the door....everyone was sitting around listening to the song lucky by lucky twice it was kinda weird cause well everyone was just sitting around!! And then someone started drinking I forgot who...well yeah... I wanted to hear this song....but I couldn't figute out the name to it!! And it was really bothering me....so I tried to find it online....while I was doing that I was missing out on the drinking so that automatically made me an asshole....becuase I didn't see emi bong a beer!!! I really don't see why someone can get all something (I can't think of the word) ....just cause I didn't see someone bong a beer!!! It was making me upset... I mean. I always feel like everytime I come home someone always has to make me feel like a douche bag!!! I just don't understand!!! I didn't feel like going out that night....so I just went in the bathroom!!! I practically wanted to cry!! I just wanted to see what would happen...and if certain events did happen...then that would decide what I would do!!! Well after I left the bathroom....I went into the kitchen...and just started drinking...and yeah...I practically drank my problems away!! I got drunk...changed.... We all left the apartment... Got on the bus!! Then got on the max!!!
While on the max we met three girls!! They were like 15!!! And I think 2 of them were lesbian....and the other was straight!! They thought everyone of us was gay I think!! I'm not sure....but they thought I was the straightest guy!!! Woop woop!!! That made me happy!! I like being able to play off being straight!!! I hate feeling like I act girly unless I'm trying to do it purposely!!! Well yeah....after getting off the max downtown...(our little friends followed us) I really really really had to pee....so we wondered around what felt like...30 minutes...until we finally found "the pita pit" which had a public bathroom!!! YES!!! Well after that we arrived at our destination...."the escape" and danced the night away!!! Well for a few hours.... During that time I ripped the back of my pants to "lady marmolie".....(however its spelled)... Ironically emilia had done the same thing the week before!!! Lol.... Well yeah...after more dancing and wondering around trying to find people who just mysteriously dissapear and dancing with drag queens!! And getting there wig hair in my mouth.... We left!!!! It was raining out!!! And we started singing "rent" songs!!! We arrived at pioneer square and had to wait for the max....and to pass the time...we sang more "rent" songs!!! And some dude told us to shut up....but we kept singing anyway!! Well yeah... The max came... We sang more songs from rent.... Jared mad an ass of himself!!! A lady took a picture of us!!! And we arrived at sunset TC and we had to walk home!!! BBBBOOOO!!!! Well yeah... We started walking I talked on the phone with geoffry emi made me feel like an asshole because I was on the phone...when in reality I was just walking next to her because I didn't want her to feel left behind... Becuase I know that if she was on the phone I wouldn't have just been a bitch make.... some comment then speed ahead and leave her behind!!!! Ugh!! Well yeah...after venting to gef. My phone died and I just caught up to mel and then everyone else except emi cause she just kept going!!! And yeah...then we got home!!! I ate a huge bagle sandwich that I made...and went to sleep and had some weird dreams...I'm not sure what it was...but it was quite weird!!
The next day...I woke up....layed around...then got up....2 hours before I had to go to work....one hour before I had to catch the bus!!!!!! (Annoying) Got in the shower....then got ready for work!! Got on the bus an hour before I had to get to work!!! Got off....walked....then got to work right on time!! (Annoying) my co-worker andrea has the stomach flu!! And I kinda wanted to catch it from her....cause I heard somewhere you lose 10 lbs. or so... But then I thought that I'd probably just give it to my roomates...then they'd have more of a reason to call me a douche bag!!! So I stayed away....and yeah...work was work....got a ride home from (eliza)beth... Arrived to a very tense house....wasn't sure what was going on....and I'm still not sure what happened!! But yeah...then watched some parts of "little miss sunshine" its a cute movie...and at practically a whole tub of chocolate icecream!!!!! I'm such a fatass...and that's about it!!! Now I'm just lying in bed!!!
I've been thinking a lot lately...about geoffry....I mean...technically I'm dating him...but.... I'm not in a relationship with him!!! I know what he wants but I'm just not sure I can give it to him...I suck at relationships....and I just don't see what he sees when he tells me that he wants a relationship with me!!! I mean...really...who wants to date me!!! I'm crazy!!! I just don't see how someone can be into me!! What does he really want??? Really....what??? When we talk he asks me to visit him in seattle....or.... He talks about money!! Does he think that's what I want??? I mean...I'm poor...but I don't want to like someone for there money!!! Its so wrong!!! Does he think that I want to date someone for what they can give me physically so that's what he's trying to do....throw stuff in my face!!! I don't even know if I want a relationship with a guy!!! I'm just so lost and confused about this guy!!! I really don't know how I should feel!!! I mean...he's really nice...and I had fun when I was just hanging out with him in his car!!! But I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship!!! Like...a RELATIONSHIP!!!! Sigh!! But I guess I'll just see what happens....I know I wanna talk to him more...and hang out with him more!!! He wants me to visit him in seattle!! And I'm seriously considering it!! That's another thing....he lives like 3 hrs away!!! How the hell is that suppost to work??? Relationships are hard enough...now there's distance too!!!! He's just so persistant!!! Really...he wants what he wants...and he has to have what he wants!!! Maybe that's it!!! He wants me because I'm a challenge or something!!! Because I confuse him and he wants to figure it out!!! Idk!!! I'll just try and figure it out as we go along!!! I'm tired!!! Till next time
Roger Michael