all out there
so i thought i'd just throw down an update because people keep asking "what's wrong" and this way i can get it all out...so in roughly the order of occurences:
Saturday-after a hella fun friday night i go home. when i am home i ask my mom if i can have money to cover my rent since my parents owe me roughly 1000 bucks. upon asking my mom freaks out and goes on about how she is working 3 jobs and i'm not the only one that has problems and it's my own damn fault that i can't cover part of rent and i should be working more (thus the working every hour i can now even though i still have 3 papers left to write for next week and i still don't know where french is at) . aside from that we also have the grad school discussion again because no matter how much i explain why i am going to graduate school and that if i coach on a team i will recieve a stipend and there are ways to pay for it she still doesn't understand it.
Sunday-to top off the fact that i still feel like a fucked up discrace of a daughter (which still hasn't stopped) my sister continues the graduate school discussion and i explain it to her AGAIN. seriously, i wish they would first, listen and second, deal with their own fucking lives and get the hell out of mine.
Tuesday-after staying up till 2 worring about whatnot and doing papers, i get a call at 5 and a voice message (because i didn't hear my phone) that my grandma is in the hospital...they think that she had a tiny heart attack. no biggy, been through this before and after talking to my mom everything sounds fine. super. then tonight after work i get another voice message that's my grandma has been moved to abbott because she keeps having small heart attacks they think (no one knows what's happening). the shitty part about that is, one i am freaking out and also there is absolutly nothing i can do. this is the person that practically raised me for the first half of my life and i would more then gladly die for and i'm stuck in fucking eau claire because my parents don't want me coming to the cities because of class, work and the fact that no one knows what's happening.
THEN to top it off my mom gets pissed off at me because tomorrow i am making an appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed and i told her there is no reason for her to come to eau claire because seriously there's people here who could give me a ride there and back and who (i hope) wouldn't mind doing it.
top that off with paying for my summer class, work, finals, papers and other shit...yeah...great start for may. so if i get snappy or i'm out of it, it's nothing against you and i appreciate everything that everyone has done for me which some may think is nothing but trust me. and yes, i had 3 cigarettes tonight and i have been chewing (when i'm in my car)...if that disappoints some i'm sorry but i think i have bigger fish to fry.
i can't wait till the weekend...hell, i can't wait till wednesday night
Saturday-after a hella fun friday night i go home. when i am home i ask my mom if i can have money to cover my rent since my parents owe me roughly 1000 bucks. upon asking my mom freaks out and goes on about how she is working 3 jobs and i'm not the only one that has problems and it's my own damn fault that i can't cover part of rent and i should be working more (thus the working every hour i can now even though i still have 3 papers left to write for next week and i still don't know where french is at) . aside from that we also have the grad school discussion again because no matter how much i explain why i am going to graduate school and that if i coach on a team i will recieve a stipend and there are ways to pay for it she still doesn't understand it.
Sunday-to top off the fact that i still feel like a fucked up discrace of a daughter (which still hasn't stopped) my sister continues the graduate school discussion and i explain it to her AGAIN. seriously, i wish they would first, listen and second, deal with their own fucking lives and get the hell out of mine.
Tuesday-after staying up till 2 worring about whatnot and doing papers, i get a call at 5 and a voice message (because i didn't hear my phone) that my grandma is in the hospital...they think that she had a tiny heart attack. no biggy, been through this before and after talking to my mom everything sounds fine. super. then tonight after work i get another voice message that's my grandma has been moved to abbott because she keeps having small heart attacks they think (no one knows what's happening). the shitty part about that is, one i am freaking out and also there is absolutly nothing i can do. this is the person that practically raised me for the first half of my life and i would more then gladly die for and i'm stuck in fucking eau claire because my parents don't want me coming to the cities because of class, work and the fact that no one knows what's happening.
THEN to top it off my mom gets pissed off at me because tomorrow i am making an appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed and i told her there is no reason for her to come to eau claire because seriously there's people here who could give me a ride there and back and who (i hope) wouldn't mind doing it.
top that off with paying for my summer class, work, finals, papers and other shit...yeah...great start for may. so if i get snappy or i'm out of it, it's nothing against you and i appreciate everything that everyone has done for me which some may think is nothing but trust me. and yes, i had 3 cigarettes tonight and i have been chewing (when i'm in my car)...if that disappoints some i'm sorry but i think i have bigger fish to fry.
i can't wait till the weekend...hell, i can't wait till wednesday night