FFVII // Tseng/Aeris - Interim
Title: Interim, Parts 1 & 2 of 3
Fandom: FFVII - Crisis Core
Characters/Pairings: Tseng/Aeris, copious mentions of Zack and Zack/Aeris throughout
Rating: PG-13/soft R. There's a lemon, and some violence, but it's not all that graphic.
Warnings: Angst out the butt, unhappy endings, and oh, did I mention the angst? Also, in part two, there's a scene that depicts an attack/attempted rape. It's really really un-graphic and nothing happens, but I'm warning in case it might be triggering to some.
Summary: Tseng, Aeris, and a story that can never be. Zack is missing, and Aeris is slowly realizing that he might not ever return to her. Meanwhile, Tseng is finding it difficult to keep his feelings to himself. No happy endings, just solace in the interim.
Notes: Got this idea while chatting with Jamie today. I kind of became obsessed with the idea of "what might have possibly happened" between Tseng and Aeris. Kind of a stab at explaining why Aeris is so affected when they think Sephiroth has killed him in the original game, and why Tseng is such an ass in the OG. ;) Rejection does not sit well with him, let's just say. Anyway. If anyone reads this cracktastic thing, I hope you enjoy it. I had a LOT of fun writing this, and I really want to see SO MUCH MORE of these two interacting.
Part One
Tseng
It was a cold night, and he wondered why she was still here. It wasn’t as though this busted-up old church offered any kind of warmth. But still she knelt, tending to her miracle flowers, oblivious to everything else in the world. Occasionally, she would hum, a sad, sweet song, and he knew she was thinking about him again.
It had been over four years, and yet, every day, she came to the church, wearing pink. Tseng knew it was because she’d promised Zack that she would wear pink when next they met … but Zack had been gone for four years. And it hurt Tseng to see her, so young, still holding the torch for someone who likely wasn’t coming back.
Tseng knew that Zack was still alive, somewhere. Though the official word was that Zack had been killed in action, Tseng knew there was more to it than that. He just didn’t know what, exactly. His best guess was that he had deserted after the Nibelheim incident, but beyond that, he hadn’t a clue. Normally, he wouldn’t care. It wasn’t his job to give a damn, after all. But this was different.
The reasons why it was different were not ones he cared to dwell upon, however. He set his mouth in a firm line as he tried to convince himself he was only concerned about her safety; that he didn’t spend most of his waking hours wishing for her to look at him the same way she’d looked at Zack.
He knew she heard him when he entered the church and walked across the floor. He was stealthy, sure, his years as a Turk hadn’t been for nothing. But he didn’t like to sneak up on her. He never had. Surveillance of the subject was supposed to be covert -- but she was more than just “the subject” to him. Before he’d met her, it had been easy to refer to her as “the Ancient”, to remain detached from whatever it was that the science department wanted her for.
It wasn’t easy now. Because she wasn’t “the Ancient”, she wasn’t a test subject. She was Aeris. She made flowers grow in the middle of winter. She gave him something akin to hope, which, when you’d been a Turk as long as he had been, was really saying something.
She lifted her head from the flowers, but didn’t turn to look at him. He wondered if she was smiling or frowning. Were his visits to her a blessing or a curse in her eyes? He heard her sigh, almost inaudibly. “Hello, Tseng,” she said quietly. She still hadn’t looked at him. He would have questioned how she knew it was him, but there was no need.
Aeris didn’t get many visitors these days.
“It’s cold, Aeris,” he said in a cool, but not unkind voice. “And late. You should be at home, with your mother.”
“Do you have any news?” It was the same question she asked him every day, and every day, he had to give her the same answer.
“Nothing, I’m sorry,” he said, and found that he truly meant it.
Aeris stood up then and faced him. “He isn’t dead.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” Tseng asked, suddenly concerned that his face had betrayed him.
“Like you pity me, like I’m some stupid girl just waiting around for a dead guy. He’s not dead,” she said again, her green eyes flashing with anger and hurt.
“I don’t pity you,” he said, his voice level. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch her. “Aeris, you really need to get out of here. It’s freezing.”
“I don’t mind,” she said placidly.
“Well, I do,” he retorted. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay here all night.”
“Oh.” Aeris’ expression was unreadable to him now. Then she smiled, just a little, and he cursed inside his head. “You’re worried about me?”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m always worried about you,” he told her earnestly. He put his hands on her arms and looked at her steadily. It was then that he noticed that her skin was like ice. “Damn it, Aeris, you’re practically an icicle right now! What is wrong with you?” It came out angrier than he’d intended, and he released his grip on her arms. Shrugging out of his suit jacket, he put it around her shoulders.
She didn’t pull away or protest, she just pulled the jacket around her more snugly and turned her head to take a deep breath, her nose against one of the lapels. His brow furrowed as he watched her. “What are you doing?” he asked her.
“No one’s ever offered me their jacket before,” she said simply, her eyes wide. “Zack didn’t -- doesn’t -- wear one.”
“So why are you sniffing it?” he said, his tone dry.
She giggled a little. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? In books, the girls always smell the coat that the hero gives them.” She frowned then. “Not that you’re a hero or anything. Don’t you ever get tired of babysitting me?”
“That’s not what I’m doing, and you know it,” he said sternly, though he couldn’t stop staring at her in his clothes. The jacket was way too big for her, and it made her look small and fragile. He turned away quickly, because if he didn’t, he might do something stupid. “There are many who wish you harm.”
“And you’re going to protect me from them?” she asked. “How can I be sure that you aren’t one of them?”
He looked back at her, saw that there was no mischief or humor in her expression -- she really was fearful of him. After all the years that they had known each other, she still didn’t trust him. That hurt more than it should have. “You know I would never hurt you,” he told her. “And Zack trusted me.”
“Zack trusts you,” she corrected him. She cocked her head to the side and studied him. “And I know, you know, that you wouldn’t hurt me. You would have done it by now, right?” He noticed that she was shivering, despite his jacket.
“Let me walk you home,” he said then, putting his hand at the small of her back and trying to lead her toward the door.
To his surprise, she didn’t fight him, and he didn’t move his hand. She didn’t say anything on the walk through Sector 5, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. He’d never done this before, walking her home. Usually he was called away for other business before nightfall came. He’d been to her home, outside of it, anyway. Just never with her accompanying him. He was amazed at how well she handled the knowledge that nowhere was sacred, that there was always someone watching her.
But despite all that -- this was probably crossing a line. Hell, he knew it was. He was personally invested with this “subject”, he couldn’t deny it. He cared about her, he wanted her to care about him, and he knew that was foolish. She’d made it perfectly clear that her heart belonged to Zack, and she was bound and determined to wait for him, until there was nothing to wait for.
He had dark thoughts, from time to time, about just telling her that Zack was dead. But in the end, his conscience always won out. He couldn’t do that. He had promised himself, long ago, that he would never lie to Aeris, for any reason. He wasn’t about to break that promise.
He should probably request a transfer. Someone not so involved should be the one watching over Aeris. But he was loath to leave her, and he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing her every day.
They had reached her house by now, but she made no move to go into the house though. The area around her house was lovely -- full of flowers, like her church. It smelled like heaven here. He marveled at the girl in front of him. She really was a wonder.
He once again had to fight against the urge to do something stupid. Something career-endingly stupid. She was looking up at him with those big green eyes, her expression one of confusion and worry, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. Or maybe lead her over to that flowerbed and …
Well, that certainly wasn’t appropriate.
“Tseng?” she asked then, and he turned his attention back to her. “You said that I could trust you. So … You’d tell me, right? If you know anything about where he is?”
He exhaled heavily. “I would,” he said honestly. “I promise.”
Aeris nodded. “I believe you. And you know, if Zack trusts you, I think … I think I can too.” She smiled at him then, a real smile, and it went straight to his groin. He hoped he didn’t grimace to noticeably. It was ridiculous the pull this woman had over him. Absolutely ridiculous. He prided himself on his level-headedness, his ability to meet any challenge head on and remain calm and collected. But Aeris was unlike any challenge he’d ever come up against. A force of nature, she was.
She shrugged off his jacket and handed it back to him. “Could you … I mean, could you come in for a minute? I have something … I want to give you.” She looked apprehensive as she asked, and his thoughts became less and less professional.
Going into her home would be just one more broken rule. And what exactly was it she wanted to give him? Going against his better judgment, he followed her into the small-but-tidy house.
“Shh,” she said as they entered the kitchen area of the house. “My mom’s sleeping, don’t wake her.” She turned on the light and headed toward the staircase. He moved to follow her, but she shook her head and pushed him back. “Hey!” she whispered loudly. “Where do you think you’re going?” she teased playfully.
“Just following you,” he said, and he hated the hesitant tone in his voice.
She laughed. “Uh, my mom would lose it if she caught you up there. Why don’t you just wait right over there, okay?” She pointed to one of the chairs at the table.
He sat down as she headed up the stairs, and he found himself wondering how many times Zack had been here, or if he’d been allowed to go upstairs with her. The thought made him glower. Luckily, Aeris returned then, before he could spend too much time pondering the missing SOLDIER. She had an envelope in her hand.
“I know that what you guys do is dangerous and serious,” she told him, sitting down at the table beside him. “And I believe you when you say that you’d tell me … but in case you can’t …” She pushed the envelope across the table to him. On the front of the envelope, in pretty, feminine script, it just said, Zack. “If you see him, will you give him this?”
Tseng sucked in a breath, as if he’d just been punched in the gut, and in truth, that was how he felt at the moment. There were many things he wanted to say then -- part of him wanted to shake the girl silly for being so naïve -- did she really think, if Zack was still alive, that he was coming back to her after all this time? He wanted to curse her for still being so hung up on the guy. He wanted to punch something.
But his years of training came into play, and he stood up stiffly, formally. He slipped the letter into the inner pocket of his jacket. “I’ll do what I can,” he said, his voice back to being cold and impersonal. She made it easy to keep things professional when she did things like this.
Something flickered in Aeris’ eyes then, like she could tell that he was discontent. Time to go, before she wanted to talk. He didn’t think he could handle it right now. “Good night, Aeris,” he said, heading for the door.
She stood up and followed him, placing her hand on the door before he could open it. “Thank you,” she said sincerely when he looked at her. “It means a lot to me, to have someone I can trust again.”
And then she hugged him. He froze as her arms went around his torso and she rested her head on his chest for the briefest of minutes. He couldn’t make his arms work enough to return the hug, but he did lower his head enough to inhale the scent of her hair -- heaven, just like her flowers.
This was not good. This was wrong on so many levels. And yet, he couldn’t make himself pull away from her.
She finally released him, and then she opened the door. “See you tomorrow, Tseng,” she said, the mischievous glint back in her eyes. He knew then that she knew, whether he made his presence known or not, that he was always watching her.
X-x-X
But he didn’t see her the next day, or the day after that. In fact, it was over two weeks before he made it back to Sector 5. He’d been busy with other assignments, and they had kept him away from her. It was probably for the best, he surmised. In the time away, he’d been able to convince himself that reassignment was the best for both of them. His mind was much clearer, he was able to focus on his job so much more thoroughly, when Aeris was out of the picture.
The only reason he’d come today was to tell her, in person, that he was requesting a transfer. She didn’t need to know the reason why. With any luck, she’d be happy to get rid of him.
It was shortly after ten in the morning when he walked into the church. She was sitting beside the flowers -- still wearing pink, damn it -- her legs stretched out in front of her, her head bent down as she focused on whatever her task was. Her hair had fallen over her shoulder and was obscuring the view of her face, but Tseng didn’t need to see it -- he knew the look her face got when she was concentrating intently.
Her head snapped up when she heard his footfalls on the floor. Her eyes widened and she smiled a little. “You’re back,” she said, and he would have sworn that she actually sounded happy to see him. She stood up and walked over to him. “And you’re just in time!”
“In time for what?” he asked, concerned. She had that Look on her face again -- the one that always spelled trouble for her victims.
He knew her too well.
She held up what she’d been working on so intently just moments ago. “A wreath?” he asked, eyeing the circle of flowers warily.
“A crown, silly,” she told him amusedly. “Bend down here, let me see how it looks.”
“You can’t be serious,” he deadpanned. “You’re actually thinking of putting that on my head?”
Aeris stuck out her lower lip in a pout. “I can’t see how it looks if I put it on myself, obviously,” she said.
“I could tell you,” he said then.
Aeris considered it. “Well,” she drew out the word, so it sounded like several syllables. “If you promise to be honest, I suppose that’s okay.” She reached up and placed the floral crown on her head. She’d used a few too many flowers though, and it fell over one of her eyes and sat askew on her head.
Tseng couldn’t help it -- he laughed. “I think you better just stick with tending to the flowers, not using them for your arts and crafts projects,” he told her, amusement in his voice. It felt good to laugh -- he couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re terrible,” she told him, flinging the flower crown across the room. “I’ve been working on that for a week.” She circled him then, looking at him sternly. “So where’ve you been?”
“Working,” he said gruffly, but he was moved that she even cared.
“You didn’t call or anything,” she said, her voice small.
“Would you have answered, if I did?”
Aeris shrugged. “Maybe not the first day. But after a week …” she trailed off.
He couldn’t stop himself. He touched her shoulder. She stopped her pacing and looked up at him. “You were worried?” he asked, and there wasn’t a hint of teasing in his voice.
“You have a dangerous job. Sometimes people leave and don’t come back …” She laughed mirthlessly. “If you disappear on me, then I’m really going to be alone.” He didn’t say anything at that, and she stepped away so that he dropped his hand from her shoulder. “What’s that look for, Tseng? You are so strange sometimes. I just don’t get you.”
“I didn’t think you’d even notice I was gone,” he finally said, when he could find the words.
“Because my life is just full of people coming and going -- I hardly have a moment to myself, right?” Aeris said lightly. “Of course I noticed you were gone.” She sat down on one of the pews, her hands clasped in front of her, as though she were about to pray.
“I’m leaving, Aeris,” he said. He hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that, but words were failing him right now. This wasn’t going the way he thought it would at all.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.”
“No, I’m leaving,” he clarified. “I’m being reassigned. One of the other Turks will be taking over your protection from here on out.”
Aeris jumped up quickly. “What? But -- why? Why now? You’ve been around since I was eight-years-old, Tseng. That’s almost twelve years! Why all of a sudden?” Her voice had a hint of desperation in it, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t please him to hear it.
“This … situation is no longer prudent,” he said simply.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aeris asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“It’s no longer in the best interest of either Shinra or you to have me here,” he said, trying to stay calm.
“And who decides what’s best for me? Shinra? Because I’m some stupid Ancient, you all think you have a say in what happens in my life?” Aeris was mad now, he could see that she was visibly vibrating from the rage she was trying so hard to contain.
“Why are you so angry, Aeris?” he asked her then. “We aren’t friends.”
Aeris’ mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh. Okay, I see. Right, of course. All the time you’ve been hanging around here, that’s just because it was your job, right? All the times you’ve asked me to come back to Shinra with you … we both know if you really wanted to, you could just take me to them. But you haven’t. Why is that, huh, Tseng?”
He looked away from her then. The reason he’d never forced her hand was because -- even though he knew her cooperation was paramount to the happiness of the people of the world -- he couldn’t and wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. He’d been trained to kidnap, to kill, to bend people to his will, and with anyone else, anywhere else, this was no problem.
But he couldn’t do that to Aeris.
She was in front of him now, poking her finger into his chest. “Answer me!” she demanded. “Why are they making you leave me now? You owe me an explanation, at the very least.”
He took a deep breath before he answered her. “They aren’t making me leave,” he said. “I’m requesting the transfer.”
Aeris’ expression was crestfallen. “But why?” she asked. She really had no idea. “Tseng, if you leave …”
“Yes?” he asked, hopefulness creeping into his voice no matter how he tried to fight it.
“They’ll take me to Shinra. They won’t give me a choice. Is … is that what this is about? Because I don’t want to go back there? Did you really request a transfer, or is that just what you’re supposed to tell me?”
And just like that, he felt the wind being sucked out of his sails. She was worried about being taken to Shin-Ra, of course. It wasn’t about him, it had never been about him. And it never would be.
“I won’t let them,” he told her firmly. “I promise you, whoever takes my place will not touch you without your permission.” He sighed heavily and sank down into the pew that Aeris had been sitting in before. “But that’s not what this is about. And yes, I did request the transfer.”
Aeris swallowed hard. “Okay. Then why? Please just tell me. I’ll go crazy wondering if you don’t.”
“It’s complicated,” he told her, determined to face this like a man. She was right, he did owe her an explanation. He’d been a fool to assume he would be able to leave with nary a word to her.
“Try me,” she said, sitting beside him. Right beside him, with no space between them. Her hand was on his shoulder then, and he turned to look at her. He was close enough to smell the flowery scent of her hair, the powdery scent of her skin. His hand reached up unconsciously and ran down the length of her arm, and he reveled in the feel of her smooth skin. She was making him crazy. And she had no idea.
It would be so easy to let her know, though. All he had to do was lean in a few inches, and he did, despite all his years of training, his friendship with Zack, and all his other, career-related, misgivings. He would be leaving after this, he’d never see her again, gods-willing.
He brushed his lips over hers, lightly at first, but before he knew it, his hand was snaking around the back of her neck and pulling her in closer. She let out a gasp of shock and he used the opening to his full advantage, sliding his tongue into her mouth and over her own.
His fingers tangled in the long, soft hair at the nape of her neck, his other hand at her waist, drawing her even closer so that he could feel all her soft curves against him. And it was heaven. For the brief moment that it lasted before she shoved him away with more force than he would have thought possible from her. She jumped up and hurried to get as far across the room from him as possible.
Her hand was over her mouth and her eyes were wide, but he couldn’t read her expression at all. Was she angry? Scared? Turned on? He just couldn’t tell. He stood up and started to walk toward her, but she held out her hand. “No, no, you stay right there,” she snapped. “I understand now. Just -- leave.”
He knew better than to push the issue. He’d gone so far over the line here, and he was ashamed of himself. “Well,” he said, making his voice as level and calm as he could, given the situation. “Now you know why.”
He glanced back over his shoulder when he reached the door of the church. Aeris was standing, frozen to the spot, running her fingers lightly over her lips, her expression one of bewilderment. Funny, she didn’t look angry now.
Oh, hell. He wasn’t going to be able to request that transfer after all. He shook his head and chuckled under his breath as he left the church. “See you soon, Aeris,” he said to himself as the door shut behind him.
Part Two
Aeris
Aeris didn’t see anyone from Shinra after the Incident with Tseng, but she knew that there was someone keeping tabs on her. Whoever it was obviously was better at being stealthy than Tseng had ever been, she thought with some amusement. It had been nearly two and a half months since she’d seen him, and she had to admit -- she missed him.
Not the same way she missed Zack, no, it definitely wasn’t the same at all. But there was a part of her heart that was empty now, and it had nothing to do with her missing SOLDIER.
Of course, if she was being honest with herself, she’d have to admit that with Tseng, this was mostly her doing. She’d been completely oblivious to the fact that he had -- feelings -- for her until it was too late. And when it had all come to a head; well, she hadn’t handled it well, that was for sure.
Mainly because it scared her. Zack was the only guy she’d ever been physically intimate with, and he and Tseng had very different tacks. Zack was playful and opportunistic, tricking her out of kisses all the time. While Tseng had definitely tricked her -- it hadn’t been playful. It had felt desperate. Like a man who was drowning, and she was his air.
It was a strange feeling -- not unpleasant, just odd. But thinking back, she realized that there had been many clues. She’d just been so self-absorbed that she’d missed them. And now she really just wished she could apologize to him, at least. She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully as she considered her cell phone, which was in her bag amongst her other belongings.
She decided against it after a long deliberation. He was right, it was for the best that he had transferred. Best for both of them. He obviously had some issues he needed to work through, and it wasn’t as though she didn’t have enough of her own to deal with. It was much simpler, not having him around. Besides, what would she say, if she did call him?
Hey, remember when you accosted me? Gee, I sure am sorry that I yelled at you for that. So how’ve you been?
Right. That was just perfect.
The sun had been down for over an hour by the time Aeris finished up in the church and decided to head for home. She could tell there was going to be trouble as soon as she stepped outside and saw the group of men across the street. There were five of them, and they were obviously drunk. The catcalling started almost immediately. Part of her wanted to turn around and head back inside, but the door didn’t lock, she’d be boxing herself in if she did that, and worse came to worst.
“Hey, there cutie!” one of the guys called out to her. She ignored him and picked up her pace, trying to get to the relative safety of the slum market as quickly as possible.
“Hey! I’m talkin’ to ya, ya stuck-up bitch!”
Aeris gritted her teeth and pressed onward.
“What? You too good to talk to my buddy?” one of the other men chimed in, and he was suddenly right beside her.
“I’m just trying to get home,” Aeris said, trying to keep her tone level.
“Oh, aren’t you a good girl?” the guy hissed in her ear and she flinched. He wrapped some of her hair around his beefy fingers and took a long sniff. She shuddered. His big hands were around her throat then, and he was pushing her back against one of the lean-tos that were so abundant in this sector. She kicked and clawed frantically to get away. She dug her nails into the guy’s hands hard until he yelped and released her. Then she stomped down on his instep and was glad to hear the sickening snap.
“You fucking bitch!” The guy lunged at her, but she darted out of his way and took off running. She wasn’t fast enough though, as one of the other men dove at her and tackled her to the ground. She landed hard enough that it knocked the wind out of her, and she couldn’t scream right away. She looked around, hoping to see someone else, anyone else, but the area was deserted. The man slapped her across the face and began tearing at her clothes.
“Let go, please, let me go!” she screamed. It was harder to fight off her assailant now that she was flat on her back, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try. She raked at his face with her nails and brought her knee up to connect with his groin. As he rolled over in pain, she hopped up and took off again.
It was then that she heard the gunshots. She froze, even though common sense was telling her to keep going for the love of god, one of them has a gun! “Shit!” she heard one of the men yell. “Shit, let’s get outta here!” “Dude’s gotta gun, fuck, run!” She heard the sounds of a fracas after that, and it sounded like whoever it was that had the gun was laying some serious smack-down on her assailants.
Ah. Her mystery guardian. She should’ve known. Though he sure took his sweet time coming to her aid, now didn’t he? She thought about waiting to talk to him, but she was too shaken up to just stand in the street any longer, so she continued walking toward the market. “Thanks a lot!” she called with a wave of her hand over her shoulder. Then, under her breath, she muttered, “But, didn’t you know? I’m worth more to Shinra actually breathing.”
She made it home without any further incident, though the people in the marketplace did give her some odd looks. She wondered how bad she looked, and when she trudged up the stairs to her bathroom, she was not pleased with her reflection. Her face was a little scratched up, and there was a really lovely purple bruise forming on her cheek where that guy had slapped her. Her clothes were pretty torn up, and with some chagrin, she noticed that her lacy white bra was completely visible. No wonder the people at the marketplace had given her such weird looks.
She took a long, hot bath, and it helped some of the aches in her muscles. Then she changed into a long cotton nightgown, and pulled her hair away from her face in a tight ponytail. She was thankful her mother was already sleeping, it wouldn’t do to worry her right now. She was about to head to her own bed when there was a knock at the door.
Sighing heavily, she made her way downstairs, pulling on her worn old robe as she went. She paused briefly before opening the door. “Who is it?” she asked.
“Aeris, let me in.”
Eyes widening, she flung the door open. “Tseng?” she asked incredulously.
“Oh, god,” he said upon seeing her face.
Aeris looked behind her and put her finger to her lips. “Shh. Come on, let’s go out to the garden,” she said, leading him outside. “Don’t want to wake Mom.”
“I’m so sorry,” Tseng said once they were in the garden. He had his hands on her shoulders, and he was studying her face as intently as he could in the moonlight. “Are you hurt badly?”
“No, I’m not,” she said. She motioned to her cheek. “That’s about the worst of it. I managed to fight them off, for the most part. Was it you who showed up, then?”
Tseng shook his head. “No, I wasn’t at the church today. It was Reno and Rude. They called me immediately, said they’d just ‘beaten the shit out of some assholes who’d attacked the Ancient.’ Reno’s words, not mine.”
“You weren’t at the church -- today?” Aeris questioned. “Meaning you have been, other days?”
Tseng looked suitably chagrined. “I couldn’t handle just leaving you,” he said.
“But you didn’t think I might want to know you were still around?” Aeris asked, feeling her temper start to flare.
“You were angry with me last time we saw each other.”
“And rightfully so!” she retorted. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted you to disappear off the face of the planet! And how creepy is it that you’ve been able to watch me without me knowing? Tseng … I just … don’t know.”
“You know why I did it,” Tseng said, but it was a weak excuse in Aeris’ mind.
“Oh, and don’t get me started on that!” Aeris snapped. “Don’t you think it would have been more -- what was that word you used? -- prudent to talk to me about how you were feeling before sticking your tongue down my throat?”
“Aeris!” Tseng chided her, obviously shocked at her turn of phrase.
“I was angry with you, yes. But not for the reasons you think,” Aeris said, feeling somewhat calmer now. “I was angry because you didn’t even give me a chance to voice how I might feel about the whole thing. You disrespected me, and Zack, and …”
“This has nothing to do with Zack,” Tseng interjected.
“But it does!” Aeris protested. “I love Zack.”
“The official word is that Zack died in action,” Tseng said then, suddenly.
Aeris’ mouth formed a thin line. “But you don’t believe that, do you? Or you would have told me before.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t believe that.”
“Then … what do you think happened to him?” She was almost afraid to hear what he might say.
She heard his sharp intake of breath, and then he was holding both of her hands in his. She made herself look up at him. “I think he deserted,” he told her honestly. “And I don’t think he’s coming back.”
“Huh,” Aeris said. “Funny that that is your first assumption.”
“Well, what’s your explanation, then?” He hadn’t let go of her hands yet, but she didn’t really see any need to pull away from him herself.
“Maybe … he was captured by someone?” she said.
“You really do want to see the best in everyone, don’t you?” Tseng asked, his voice full of wonder as he looked down at her.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t still be out here, talking to you.” She sighed then and pulled her hands away from his. “Good night, Tseng. Don’t creep around the church any more, okay? Oh, and tell Reno and Rude … thanks.”
X-x-X
Aeris’ eyes fluttered open when she felt the presence of someone else in the church. She must’ve dozed off, because she woke up, lying on the hardwood floor of the church next to the flowerbed. Tseng was standing over her.
“Creepy,” she muttered, sitting up. “What’s going on?”
“I just got here,” he told her, his voice borderline sullen. Aeris rolled her eyes. He really was a big baby.
“Okay, you just got here. You should’ve like, nudged me awake or something, instead of just standing there.”
“I was about to,” he told her wryly. He held out his hand to help her stand up.
She straightened out her skirt and brushed off any dust she might have accumulated from lying on the floor. “Is something wrong?” she asked, finally taking note of the expression on his face.
“I did some inquiring -- there are no Shinra SOLDIERS First Class in any of the prison camps, anywhere in the world,” he said, his voice grave. “We would know -- there aren’t that many First Classes out there.” He paused. “And of course, we considered that he wouldn’t tell them his real name or rank -- but there’s no one fitting Zack’s description, either.”
Aeris was pleased to hear that he’d taken her suggestion about what might have happened to Zack seriously, but this news was anything but pleasing. She felt her shoulders sag a little bit. “I … Um, thank you for checking,” she said in a small voice. Shaking her head, she turned away from him, hoping that she wouldn’t start crying or something stupid like that.
Maybe it would be better if they would just get news that he was dead. Thinking that he had deserted without a word -- well, that one stung a little bit more than she liked to admit. For a brief moment, she wondered if Tseng was lying to her, but she pushed that thought aside. She believed in Tseng, and he had always been honest with her before.
“I’m going to Junon for the week. Reno will be around,” Tseng said then. “Unless -- you’d like to come with me?” He sounded anxious, and Aeris found it endearing, though she never would have admitted it.
She just looked at him, a little startled at the invitation. Zack had always promised to take her to the world outside the slums. Part of her wanted to go -- but a bigger part of her felt like it would be betraying Zack. “No, thank you,” she said politely.
“Aeris,” Tseng began, but he apparently thought better about whatever it was he was going to say. “I’ll see you in a week.”
Aeris just nodded. “Have a nice trip.”
X-x-X
It was another three weeks before she saw Tseng again, and she could tell by his expression that his trip had not been a pleasant one. And if she was being honest, the last three weeks hadn’t been a whole lot of fun for her, either.
Since the other Turks sent to watch her never interacted with her, it gave her a lot of time to herself -- just her and her thoughts. And the bad thoughts seemed to be more abundant these days. It was starting to become very clear that Tseng’s idea, about Zack deserting and taking off, was the truth.
She hated herself for even entertaining the idea, but it was hard to ignore what was staring her in the face. Zack had always been free spirit. She’d known that about him all along. She supposed she couldn’t honestly be that surprised.
So when Tseng came back, she had a lot to tell him. She turned as soon as he entered the church, and gave pause when she saw the dour expression on his face. She knew better than to question him -- he couldn’t talk about his job. Shinra was a secretive organization. “How was your trip?” she asked, even though she knew the answer.
He sat down on the pew closest to the flowers, and sighed heavily. “Longer than anticipated,” he said. “Exhausting. I’m glad to be home.”
Aeris’ brow furrowed at that. “Home? You mean Midgar?” Funny, she’d never bothered to ask Tseng where he was from. She supposed it didn’t really matter all that much, but it seemed like something that maybe she should know about him.
“Midgar, here, wherever,” he said tiredly.
“You think of here as home, Tseng?” Aeris asked, genuinely surprised by his answer.
“I do spend most of my time here,” he told her drolly.
She walked over and sat beside him. “I’m glad you’re back too,” she told him. “There’s no one to talk to when you aren’t here.”
He made a sound between a grunt and a chuckle. “Talk, huh?” he said. “I don’t know, sometimes I get tired of talking.” He looked at her then, and Aeris couldn’t ignore the heat she saw in his eyes as he started to lean toward her.
“But I need to talk to you,” Aeris told him, hoping he’d understand, as she put her hand on his arm to stop his advances. “I did a lot of thinking while you were gone this time.”
“Yeah?” he said, sitting back, his arms stretched out on either side of him across the top of the pew. It was such a casual pose, and Aeris just stared for a minute. Tseng was always so formal, she’d never seen him just relax before. It was strange, and yet, oddly comforting, to see him this way. So. He was human, after all.
“I just realized a few things. Things I think I knew all along,” she said. “I just … didn’t want to say them out loud.” Tseng didn’t move. His eyes were holding her captive in their gaze, and she fidgeted nervously, picking at non-existent lint on her skirt. “Zack is gone,” she said, and she cringed at the way it sounded, actually saying it out loud. “He’s gone, and he’s … not coming back. It’s been nearly five years. And I can’t keep waiting on him. Not when it comes at the expense of everything else.”
She stood up then, ignoring the tears that pricked at the back of her eyes, and started walking toward the door of the church. “I just wanted you to know, that you were right.”
“And now you’re leaving?” he asked her.
“Yes, now I’m leaving,” she told him, nodding her head firmly. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He was fast -- he was in front of her, blocking off the door before she really knew what was happening. “You’re crying,” he said when he looked at her face.
“Yeah? Well, it’s not easy to admit things like that.” She looked away and swiped at the traitorous tears on her cheeks.
“If it helps,” Tseng said, using his forefinger to turn her face back to his, “I don’t think he would’ve left if there were any other choice.”
Aeris laughed joylessly. “That’s nice, Tseng, but you don’t have to do that. Zack never really has been the settle-down-with-one-girl type, and we both know that.”
“Then he’s a fool,” Tseng said, and the conviction in his voice shook Aeris to her very core. “Aeris, I -- ”
Aeris put her fingers to his lips then, silencing him. “Shhh,” she said, leaning forward and pressing her lips against his.
This was probably a mistake -- no, not probably. It was a big mistake. But her heart was aching and she was tired of being alone all the time. And if she could be held and cherished by someone who obviously cared about her, even if only for a moment, well then, that was enough.
“Aeris, Aeris,” Tseng gasped out as he turned her around and backed her against a nearby pillar. His hands were in her hair and he was kissing her insistently. But he pulled back long enough to look at her. “Aeris, you don’t really want to do this,” he told her.
“Yes, I do,” she said, pulling him back toward her. “I do.”
“But … here, Aeris?”
She finally looked away from his face and realized that their current venue probably wasn’t the best choice. “No, I suppose not,” she said glumly, as reality set in.
“Come with me,” he said, pulling her by the arm and leading her out of the church.
“Where are we going?” she asked him.
She found out soon enough, when he stopped in front of a modest house not far from her church. “I bought this years ago, when I was first assigned to look out for you,” he said. “I don’t really live here, but it’s convenient when I’m too tired to go up above the plate to my apartment.”
Aeris nodded, and let him lead her inside. It was a simple three-room home, with a large room that served as a bedroom/living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom just beyond that. The only furniture was a bed in the main room, a small, outdated television set, a worn out end table with an old lamp on it, and a table in the kitchen. Obviously, Tseng only used this place as a crash pad.
“This place isn’t being watched?” she asked him.
“Shinra doesn’t know about this place at all,” he told her.
Aeris’ heart was pounding wildly. She couldn’t believe her boldness right now, but she also didn’t have any intention of stopping. She leaned back against the door and looked up at him. “Why didn’t you leave?” she asked him then, as he crossed the room and turned on the small lamp.
“What are you talking about?” he asked her, perplexed by this turn of events.
“When you told me you were transferring, and then you … kissed me … why didn’t you leave then?”
Tseng sighed. “I like to think I’m a smart man, Aeris,” he said. “And I knew it would be a stupid move, leaving you. Losing you, in any capacity, would be foolish.”
Aeris narrowed her eyes. “Because of Shinra?” She had to ask it. She had to know before this went one inch further.
“No!” Tseng shouted. “Maybe that’s how it was at first, I won’t lie about that. But not any more. Aeris, these last five years have been … the best and the worst of my life. And that has nothing to do with Shinra.”
“But you wouldn’t even know me, if not for them,” she pointed out.
“That’s true, and I’ll be thankful till the day I die for that,” he said, and it was the most earnest she had ever heard him. He crossed the room and stood in front of her. His hands were placed flat against the door, on either side of her head, effectively boxing her in. “Maybe you’re my curse,” he told her in a ragged whisper, “but I adore you. And Zack was an idiot for leaving you the way he did.”
He crushed his mouth down on hers then, and she didn’t feel the need to talk any more. She fisted her hands into the fabric of his button-up shirt and pulled him closer, and felt his hands at her waist then. He lifted her off the ground easily and carried her over to the bed, his lips never leaving hers. Once he lay her down among the pillows, his mouth began to roam. He nipped at her earlobe, and chuckled resonantly in when he felt her shudder.
His lips ran a scorching trail down her neck, all the while, his fingers worked the buttons on her dress. Aeris felt like her whole body was on fire. Tseng was insistent and thorough, his hands brushing over inch of exposed flesh that he could. It was different than Zack’s eager earnestness. It was like she was some sort of new religion, and Tseng just wanted to worship her.
He pushed the dress off her shoulders then, leaving her top exposed, save for her lacy bra. He ran his hand over that, and then he shoved the straps of her bra down, causing her breasts to spill over the top of the material.
He sucked in his breath. “You are perfect,” he whispered roughly just seconds before his lips closed over one of her taut nipples.
She arched her back and gasped at the sensation. He continued to unbutton her dress until it was completely open. As he moved his attention from one breast to the other, his hand dipped below the waistband of her frilly under things, and she closed her eyes and hissed in pleasure as he slipped one of his fingers inside of her.
“Oh, god, I love you,” he breathed, looking up at her, and then capturing her mouth with his own yet again. His tongue mimicked the motion of his fingers inside of her, and it wasn’t long before Aeris could feel the pleasure reaching its peak. He was good at this, a fact that was not lost on her. He knew exactly what to do, and when she came, it was with a long, shuddering cry. His eyes never left her face, and they were dark with desire by this time. She moved to sit up and -- return the favor -- but he shook his head. “No,” he told her, his voice hoarse. “I just need to feel you.”
He started unbuttoning his shirt, but she reached up and finished the job for him, and then she moved to the button on his trousers. She bit her lower lip when he was completely free of his clothing. He was a … good-sized man. In all areas.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said when he saw the look on her face. “Aeris, you’re not a …”
She cut him off by reaching out and wrapping her hand around him. He groaned as she stroked him gently. “No,” she told him. “No, I’m not.” She slipped her underwear off and then guided him to her center. “But it’s been …” She gasped when he entered her, almost forgetting her train of thought. “A really long time,” she finished breathlessly.
Tseng’s hands were in her hair again, and he lowered his lips to hers again as he moved inside her. She rocked her hips to meet his thrusts and could feel another wave building within her.
Tseng’s kisses grew more insistent the closer to release that he got, and Aeris could swear her lips would be bruised the next day, but it felt so good right now, just being held and loved again. Her fingers dug into the skin on his shoulders when she came this time, and he followed soon after, bellowing out her name.
He collapsed on top of her, and she laughed a little. “Oof, you’re heavy,” she teased him, tickling at his ribs to make him move over.
“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at her intently. “Did I hurt you?”
“Calm down,” Aeris said. “I’m fine, really.”
“Aeris … I …” Tseng began as he rolled to the side, but he kept her cradled in his arms.
“Shhh,” she told him. “You don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to,” he said. “I want you to know that …”
“Hey, Tseng,” Aeris said, looking over at him. “It’s okay. I know.” She smiled. “And I’m not upset or angry or regretful or anything like that.”
“I meant it, you know,” he said after a long silence. “I do love you. I always have.”
Aeris closed her eyes and contemplated the phrase. She didn’t think she and Zack had ever said that to each other. Not seriously, anyway. It was -- nice to hear. She didn’t know what she felt for Tseng right now. She didn’t think that she loved him -- but she did care about him a great deal. “I need to get home, or my mother will worry,” she told him, her voice apologetic.
“Oh, of course,” he said, and she could see that her words had hurt him.
She wanted to apologize, but surely he knew before that this wasn’t … not yet, anyway. But maybe in time, it would be. And they had plenty of time. There was no need for any kind of rush.
“Tseng,” she told him, putting her hand on his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be sad. We have plenty of time, right? You’re not going anywhere, are you?” She smiled, and he smiled back. She leaned forward and kissed him again, and was somewhat delighted to see that he was up for more than kissing, already.
It was nearly an hour later, and she was gathering up her clothes and getting redressed when Tseng’s cell phone rang. “This is Tseng,” he said into the phone, his voice stern and serious. She wanted to giggle, because not five minutes ago, he’d been crying out in ecstasy. But she knew better than that.
His expression changed so fast, Aeris would have sworn that somebody had flicked a switch within him. “I understand,” Tseng was saying. “Yes, thank you for the alert, I’ll make sure everyone is aware. Yes sir. Good night, sir.”
Aeris had been buttoning up her dress, but the tone in Tseng’s voice had caused her to freeze. She didn’t dare look at him, afraid of what his expression was going to say.
“Zack is alive,” he said, his voice completely flat and expressionless. “And we have orders to kill him on sight if he refuses to return to Shinra with us.”
Aeris sank to the floor then. Alive, alive, Zack is still alive … but for how long? “Are you going to kill him?” she asked then, her heart in her throat.
“I will not.” Tseng’s voice had gone back to the cold, impersonal one Aeris had grown used to. Gone was the man who had declared his love for her not five minutes ago. “I’ll do everything in my power to get him back safely.”
Aeris nodded. “Thank you,” she said simply.
Apparently, there was no time left.
THE END (sort of)
Okay. In regards to the ending. I am aware that the OG leads you to believe that Aeris doesn't know WHAT happened to Zack. But after playing Crisis Core (I know, I know, OG purists are freaking out right now), I've become of the mind that Tseng let her know of Zack's fate at some point. As far as her attitude regarding Zack in the OG goes, it's always (even before CC came out) been my personal opinion that deep down, she knew, and was possibly just posturing/not wanting to lament about Zack too much around the guy she was starting to have feelings for (Cloud). And since this IS based on the Crisis Core canon, I thought it would be all right to use the little bit that shows that she just somehow knows. I hope this doesn't ruin the fic for some people. I know I'm being very loose and fast with the canon here, but for this fic, it's what works. If someone thinks that this should be labeled as an AU because of that, PLEASE let me know, and I will do so. Thank you for reading! :)
Fandom: FFVII - Crisis Core
Characters/Pairings: Tseng/Aeris, copious mentions of Zack and Zack/Aeris throughout
Rating: PG-13/soft R. There's a lemon, and some violence, but it's not all that graphic.
Warnings: Angst out the butt, unhappy endings, and oh, did I mention the angst? Also, in part two, there's a scene that depicts an attack/attempted rape. It's really really un-graphic and nothing happens, but I'm warning in case it might be triggering to some.
Summary: Tseng, Aeris, and a story that can never be. Zack is missing, and Aeris is slowly realizing that he might not ever return to her. Meanwhile, Tseng is finding it difficult to keep his feelings to himself. No happy endings, just solace in the interim.
Notes: Got this idea while chatting with Jamie today. I kind of became obsessed with the idea of "what might have possibly happened" between Tseng and Aeris. Kind of a stab at explaining why Aeris is so affected when they think Sephiroth has killed him in the original game, and why Tseng is such an ass in the OG. ;) Rejection does not sit well with him, let's just say. Anyway. If anyone reads this cracktastic thing, I hope you enjoy it. I had a LOT of fun writing this, and I really want to see SO MUCH MORE of these two interacting.
Part One
Tseng
It was a cold night, and he wondered why she was still here. It wasn’t as though this busted-up old church offered any kind of warmth. But still she knelt, tending to her miracle flowers, oblivious to everything else in the world. Occasionally, she would hum, a sad, sweet song, and he knew she was thinking about him again.
It had been over four years, and yet, every day, she came to the church, wearing pink. Tseng knew it was because she’d promised Zack that she would wear pink when next they met … but Zack had been gone for four years. And it hurt Tseng to see her, so young, still holding the torch for someone who likely wasn’t coming back.
Tseng knew that Zack was still alive, somewhere. Though the official word was that Zack had been killed in action, Tseng knew there was more to it than that. He just didn’t know what, exactly. His best guess was that he had deserted after the Nibelheim incident, but beyond that, he hadn’t a clue. Normally, he wouldn’t care. It wasn’t his job to give a damn, after all. But this was different.
The reasons why it was different were not ones he cared to dwell upon, however. He set his mouth in a firm line as he tried to convince himself he was only concerned about her safety; that he didn’t spend most of his waking hours wishing for her to look at him the same way she’d looked at Zack.
He knew she heard him when he entered the church and walked across the floor. He was stealthy, sure, his years as a Turk hadn’t been for nothing. But he didn’t like to sneak up on her. He never had. Surveillance of the subject was supposed to be covert -- but she was more than just “the subject” to him. Before he’d met her, it had been easy to refer to her as “the Ancient”, to remain detached from whatever it was that the science department wanted her for.
It wasn’t easy now. Because she wasn’t “the Ancient”, she wasn’t a test subject. She was Aeris. She made flowers grow in the middle of winter. She gave him something akin to hope, which, when you’d been a Turk as long as he had been, was really saying something.
She lifted her head from the flowers, but didn’t turn to look at him. He wondered if she was smiling or frowning. Were his visits to her a blessing or a curse in her eyes? He heard her sigh, almost inaudibly. “Hello, Tseng,” she said quietly. She still hadn’t looked at him. He would have questioned how she knew it was him, but there was no need.
Aeris didn’t get many visitors these days.
“It’s cold, Aeris,” he said in a cool, but not unkind voice. “And late. You should be at home, with your mother.”
“Do you have any news?” It was the same question she asked him every day, and every day, he had to give her the same answer.
“Nothing, I’m sorry,” he said, and found that he truly meant it.
Aeris stood up then and faced him. “He isn’t dead.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” Tseng asked, suddenly concerned that his face had betrayed him.
“Like you pity me, like I’m some stupid girl just waiting around for a dead guy. He’s not dead,” she said again, her green eyes flashing with anger and hurt.
“I don’t pity you,” he said, his voice level. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch her. “Aeris, you really need to get out of here. It’s freezing.”
“I don’t mind,” she said placidly.
“Well, I do,” he retorted. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay here all night.”
“Oh.” Aeris’ expression was unreadable to him now. Then she smiled, just a little, and he cursed inside his head. “You’re worried about me?”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m always worried about you,” he told her earnestly. He put his hands on her arms and looked at her steadily. It was then that he noticed that her skin was like ice. “Damn it, Aeris, you’re practically an icicle right now! What is wrong with you?” It came out angrier than he’d intended, and he released his grip on her arms. Shrugging out of his suit jacket, he put it around her shoulders.
She didn’t pull away or protest, she just pulled the jacket around her more snugly and turned her head to take a deep breath, her nose against one of the lapels. His brow furrowed as he watched her. “What are you doing?” he asked her.
“No one’s ever offered me their jacket before,” she said simply, her eyes wide. “Zack didn’t -- doesn’t -- wear one.”
“So why are you sniffing it?” he said, his tone dry.
She giggled a little. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? In books, the girls always smell the coat that the hero gives them.” She frowned then. “Not that you’re a hero or anything. Don’t you ever get tired of babysitting me?”
“That’s not what I’m doing, and you know it,” he said sternly, though he couldn’t stop staring at her in his clothes. The jacket was way too big for her, and it made her look small and fragile. He turned away quickly, because if he didn’t, he might do something stupid. “There are many who wish you harm.”
“And you’re going to protect me from them?” she asked. “How can I be sure that you aren’t one of them?”
He looked back at her, saw that there was no mischief or humor in her expression -- she really was fearful of him. After all the years that they had known each other, she still didn’t trust him. That hurt more than it should have. “You know I would never hurt you,” he told her. “And Zack trusted me.”
“Zack trusts you,” she corrected him. She cocked her head to the side and studied him. “And I know, you know, that you wouldn’t hurt me. You would have done it by now, right?” He noticed that she was shivering, despite his jacket.
“Let me walk you home,” he said then, putting his hand at the small of her back and trying to lead her toward the door.
To his surprise, she didn’t fight him, and he didn’t move his hand. She didn’t say anything on the walk through Sector 5, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. He’d never done this before, walking her home. Usually he was called away for other business before nightfall came. He’d been to her home, outside of it, anyway. Just never with her accompanying him. He was amazed at how well she handled the knowledge that nowhere was sacred, that there was always someone watching her.
But despite all that -- this was probably crossing a line. Hell, he knew it was. He was personally invested with this “subject”, he couldn’t deny it. He cared about her, he wanted her to care about him, and he knew that was foolish. She’d made it perfectly clear that her heart belonged to Zack, and she was bound and determined to wait for him, until there was nothing to wait for.
He had dark thoughts, from time to time, about just telling her that Zack was dead. But in the end, his conscience always won out. He couldn’t do that. He had promised himself, long ago, that he would never lie to Aeris, for any reason. He wasn’t about to break that promise.
He should probably request a transfer. Someone not so involved should be the one watching over Aeris. But he was loath to leave her, and he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing her every day.
They had reached her house by now, but she made no move to go into the house though. The area around her house was lovely -- full of flowers, like her church. It smelled like heaven here. He marveled at the girl in front of him. She really was a wonder.
He once again had to fight against the urge to do something stupid. Something career-endingly stupid. She was looking up at him with those big green eyes, her expression one of confusion and worry, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. Or maybe lead her over to that flowerbed and …
Well, that certainly wasn’t appropriate.
“Tseng?” she asked then, and he turned his attention back to her. “You said that I could trust you. So … You’d tell me, right? If you know anything about where he is?”
He exhaled heavily. “I would,” he said honestly. “I promise.”
Aeris nodded. “I believe you. And you know, if Zack trusts you, I think … I think I can too.” She smiled at him then, a real smile, and it went straight to his groin. He hoped he didn’t grimace to noticeably. It was ridiculous the pull this woman had over him. Absolutely ridiculous. He prided himself on his level-headedness, his ability to meet any challenge head on and remain calm and collected. But Aeris was unlike any challenge he’d ever come up against. A force of nature, she was.
She shrugged off his jacket and handed it back to him. “Could you … I mean, could you come in for a minute? I have something … I want to give you.” She looked apprehensive as she asked, and his thoughts became less and less professional.
Going into her home would be just one more broken rule. And what exactly was it she wanted to give him? Going against his better judgment, he followed her into the small-but-tidy house.
“Shh,” she said as they entered the kitchen area of the house. “My mom’s sleeping, don’t wake her.” She turned on the light and headed toward the staircase. He moved to follow her, but she shook her head and pushed him back. “Hey!” she whispered loudly. “Where do you think you’re going?” she teased playfully.
“Just following you,” he said, and he hated the hesitant tone in his voice.
She laughed. “Uh, my mom would lose it if she caught you up there. Why don’t you just wait right over there, okay?” She pointed to one of the chairs at the table.
He sat down as she headed up the stairs, and he found himself wondering how many times Zack had been here, or if he’d been allowed to go upstairs with her. The thought made him glower. Luckily, Aeris returned then, before he could spend too much time pondering the missing SOLDIER. She had an envelope in her hand.
“I know that what you guys do is dangerous and serious,” she told him, sitting down at the table beside him. “And I believe you when you say that you’d tell me … but in case you can’t …” She pushed the envelope across the table to him. On the front of the envelope, in pretty, feminine script, it just said, Zack. “If you see him, will you give him this?”
Tseng sucked in a breath, as if he’d just been punched in the gut, and in truth, that was how he felt at the moment. There were many things he wanted to say then -- part of him wanted to shake the girl silly for being so naïve -- did she really think, if Zack was still alive, that he was coming back to her after all this time? He wanted to curse her for still being so hung up on the guy. He wanted to punch something.
But his years of training came into play, and he stood up stiffly, formally. He slipped the letter into the inner pocket of his jacket. “I’ll do what I can,” he said, his voice back to being cold and impersonal. She made it easy to keep things professional when she did things like this.
Something flickered in Aeris’ eyes then, like she could tell that he was discontent. Time to go, before she wanted to talk. He didn’t think he could handle it right now. “Good night, Aeris,” he said, heading for the door.
She stood up and followed him, placing her hand on the door before he could open it. “Thank you,” she said sincerely when he looked at her. “It means a lot to me, to have someone I can trust again.”
And then she hugged him. He froze as her arms went around his torso and she rested her head on his chest for the briefest of minutes. He couldn’t make his arms work enough to return the hug, but he did lower his head enough to inhale the scent of her hair -- heaven, just like her flowers.
This was not good. This was wrong on so many levels. And yet, he couldn’t make himself pull away from her.
She finally released him, and then she opened the door. “See you tomorrow, Tseng,” she said, the mischievous glint back in her eyes. He knew then that she knew, whether he made his presence known or not, that he was always watching her.
X-x-X
But he didn’t see her the next day, or the day after that. In fact, it was over two weeks before he made it back to Sector 5. He’d been busy with other assignments, and they had kept him away from her. It was probably for the best, he surmised. In the time away, he’d been able to convince himself that reassignment was the best for both of them. His mind was much clearer, he was able to focus on his job so much more thoroughly, when Aeris was out of the picture.
The only reason he’d come today was to tell her, in person, that he was requesting a transfer. She didn’t need to know the reason why. With any luck, she’d be happy to get rid of him.
It was shortly after ten in the morning when he walked into the church. She was sitting beside the flowers -- still wearing pink, damn it -- her legs stretched out in front of her, her head bent down as she focused on whatever her task was. Her hair had fallen over her shoulder and was obscuring the view of her face, but Tseng didn’t need to see it -- he knew the look her face got when she was concentrating intently.
Her head snapped up when she heard his footfalls on the floor. Her eyes widened and she smiled a little. “You’re back,” she said, and he would have sworn that she actually sounded happy to see him. She stood up and walked over to him. “And you’re just in time!”
“In time for what?” he asked, concerned. She had that Look on her face again -- the one that always spelled trouble for her victims.
He knew her too well.
She held up what she’d been working on so intently just moments ago. “A wreath?” he asked, eyeing the circle of flowers warily.
“A crown, silly,” she told him amusedly. “Bend down here, let me see how it looks.”
“You can’t be serious,” he deadpanned. “You’re actually thinking of putting that on my head?”
Aeris stuck out her lower lip in a pout. “I can’t see how it looks if I put it on myself, obviously,” she said.
“I could tell you,” he said then.
Aeris considered it. “Well,” she drew out the word, so it sounded like several syllables. “If you promise to be honest, I suppose that’s okay.” She reached up and placed the floral crown on her head. She’d used a few too many flowers though, and it fell over one of her eyes and sat askew on her head.
Tseng couldn’t help it -- he laughed. “I think you better just stick with tending to the flowers, not using them for your arts and crafts projects,” he told her, amusement in his voice. It felt good to laugh -- he couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re terrible,” she told him, flinging the flower crown across the room. “I’ve been working on that for a week.” She circled him then, looking at him sternly. “So where’ve you been?”
“Working,” he said gruffly, but he was moved that she even cared.
“You didn’t call or anything,” she said, her voice small.
“Would you have answered, if I did?”
Aeris shrugged. “Maybe not the first day. But after a week …” she trailed off.
He couldn’t stop himself. He touched her shoulder. She stopped her pacing and looked up at him. “You were worried?” he asked, and there wasn’t a hint of teasing in his voice.
“You have a dangerous job. Sometimes people leave and don’t come back …” She laughed mirthlessly. “If you disappear on me, then I’m really going to be alone.” He didn’t say anything at that, and she stepped away so that he dropped his hand from her shoulder. “What’s that look for, Tseng? You are so strange sometimes. I just don’t get you.”
“I didn’t think you’d even notice I was gone,” he finally said, when he could find the words.
“Because my life is just full of people coming and going -- I hardly have a moment to myself, right?” Aeris said lightly. “Of course I noticed you were gone.” She sat down on one of the pews, her hands clasped in front of her, as though she were about to pray.
“I’m leaving, Aeris,” he said. He hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that, but words were failing him right now. This wasn’t going the way he thought it would at all.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.”
“No, I’m leaving,” he clarified. “I’m being reassigned. One of the other Turks will be taking over your protection from here on out.”
Aeris jumped up quickly. “What? But -- why? Why now? You’ve been around since I was eight-years-old, Tseng. That’s almost twelve years! Why all of a sudden?” Her voice had a hint of desperation in it, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t please him to hear it.
“This … situation is no longer prudent,” he said simply.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aeris asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“It’s no longer in the best interest of either Shinra or you to have me here,” he said, trying to stay calm.
“And who decides what’s best for me? Shinra? Because I’m some stupid Ancient, you all think you have a say in what happens in my life?” Aeris was mad now, he could see that she was visibly vibrating from the rage she was trying so hard to contain.
“Why are you so angry, Aeris?” he asked her then. “We aren’t friends.”
Aeris’ mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh. Okay, I see. Right, of course. All the time you’ve been hanging around here, that’s just because it was your job, right? All the times you’ve asked me to come back to Shinra with you … we both know if you really wanted to, you could just take me to them. But you haven’t. Why is that, huh, Tseng?”
He looked away from her then. The reason he’d never forced her hand was because -- even though he knew her cooperation was paramount to the happiness of the people of the world -- he couldn’t and wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. He’d been trained to kidnap, to kill, to bend people to his will, and with anyone else, anywhere else, this was no problem.
But he couldn’t do that to Aeris.
She was in front of him now, poking her finger into his chest. “Answer me!” she demanded. “Why are they making you leave me now? You owe me an explanation, at the very least.”
He took a deep breath before he answered her. “They aren’t making me leave,” he said. “I’m requesting the transfer.”
Aeris’ expression was crestfallen. “But why?” she asked. She really had no idea. “Tseng, if you leave …”
“Yes?” he asked, hopefulness creeping into his voice no matter how he tried to fight it.
“They’ll take me to Shinra. They won’t give me a choice. Is … is that what this is about? Because I don’t want to go back there? Did you really request a transfer, or is that just what you’re supposed to tell me?”
And just like that, he felt the wind being sucked out of his sails. She was worried about being taken to Shin-Ra, of course. It wasn’t about him, it had never been about him. And it never would be.
“I won’t let them,” he told her firmly. “I promise you, whoever takes my place will not touch you without your permission.” He sighed heavily and sank down into the pew that Aeris had been sitting in before. “But that’s not what this is about. And yes, I did request the transfer.”
Aeris swallowed hard. “Okay. Then why? Please just tell me. I’ll go crazy wondering if you don’t.”
“It’s complicated,” he told her, determined to face this like a man. She was right, he did owe her an explanation. He’d been a fool to assume he would be able to leave with nary a word to her.
“Try me,” she said, sitting beside him. Right beside him, with no space between them. Her hand was on his shoulder then, and he turned to look at her. He was close enough to smell the flowery scent of her hair, the powdery scent of her skin. His hand reached up unconsciously and ran down the length of her arm, and he reveled in the feel of her smooth skin. She was making him crazy. And she had no idea.
It would be so easy to let her know, though. All he had to do was lean in a few inches, and he did, despite all his years of training, his friendship with Zack, and all his other, career-related, misgivings. He would be leaving after this, he’d never see her again, gods-willing.
He brushed his lips over hers, lightly at first, but before he knew it, his hand was snaking around the back of her neck and pulling her in closer. She let out a gasp of shock and he used the opening to his full advantage, sliding his tongue into her mouth and over her own.
His fingers tangled in the long, soft hair at the nape of her neck, his other hand at her waist, drawing her even closer so that he could feel all her soft curves against him. And it was heaven. For the brief moment that it lasted before she shoved him away with more force than he would have thought possible from her. She jumped up and hurried to get as far across the room from him as possible.
Her hand was over her mouth and her eyes were wide, but he couldn’t read her expression at all. Was she angry? Scared? Turned on? He just couldn’t tell. He stood up and started to walk toward her, but she held out her hand. “No, no, you stay right there,” she snapped. “I understand now. Just -- leave.”
He knew better than to push the issue. He’d gone so far over the line here, and he was ashamed of himself. “Well,” he said, making his voice as level and calm as he could, given the situation. “Now you know why.”
He glanced back over his shoulder when he reached the door of the church. Aeris was standing, frozen to the spot, running her fingers lightly over her lips, her expression one of bewilderment. Funny, she didn’t look angry now.
Oh, hell. He wasn’t going to be able to request that transfer after all. He shook his head and chuckled under his breath as he left the church. “See you soon, Aeris,” he said to himself as the door shut behind him.
Part Two
Aeris
Aeris didn’t see anyone from Shinra after the Incident with Tseng, but she knew that there was someone keeping tabs on her. Whoever it was obviously was better at being stealthy than Tseng had ever been, she thought with some amusement. It had been nearly two and a half months since she’d seen him, and she had to admit -- she missed him.
Not the same way she missed Zack, no, it definitely wasn’t the same at all. But there was a part of her heart that was empty now, and it had nothing to do with her missing SOLDIER.
Of course, if she was being honest with herself, she’d have to admit that with Tseng, this was mostly her doing. She’d been completely oblivious to the fact that he had -- feelings -- for her until it was too late. And when it had all come to a head; well, she hadn’t handled it well, that was for sure.
Mainly because it scared her. Zack was the only guy she’d ever been physically intimate with, and he and Tseng had very different tacks. Zack was playful and opportunistic, tricking her out of kisses all the time. While Tseng had definitely tricked her -- it hadn’t been playful. It had felt desperate. Like a man who was drowning, and she was his air.
It was a strange feeling -- not unpleasant, just odd. But thinking back, she realized that there had been many clues. She’d just been so self-absorbed that she’d missed them. And now she really just wished she could apologize to him, at least. She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully as she considered her cell phone, which was in her bag amongst her other belongings.
She decided against it after a long deliberation. He was right, it was for the best that he had transferred. Best for both of them. He obviously had some issues he needed to work through, and it wasn’t as though she didn’t have enough of her own to deal with. It was much simpler, not having him around. Besides, what would she say, if she did call him?
Hey, remember when you accosted me? Gee, I sure am sorry that I yelled at you for that. So how’ve you been?
Right. That was just perfect.
The sun had been down for over an hour by the time Aeris finished up in the church and decided to head for home. She could tell there was going to be trouble as soon as she stepped outside and saw the group of men across the street. There were five of them, and they were obviously drunk. The catcalling started almost immediately. Part of her wanted to turn around and head back inside, but the door didn’t lock, she’d be boxing herself in if she did that, and worse came to worst.
“Hey, there cutie!” one of the guys called out to her. She ignored him and picked up her pace, trying to get to the relative safety of the slum market as quickly as possible.
“Hey! I’m talkin’ to ya, ya stuck-up bitch!”
Aeris gritted her teeth and pressed onward.
“What? You too good to talk to my buddy?” one of the other men chimed in, and he was suddenly right beside her.
“I’m just trying to get home,” Aeris said, trying to keep her tone level.
“Oh, aren’t you a good girl?” the guy hissed in her ear and she flinched. He wrapped some of her hair around his beefy fingers and took a long sniff. She shuddered. His big hands were around her throat then, and he was pushing her back against one of the lean-tos that were so abundant in this sector. She kicked and clawed frantically to get away. She dug her nails into the guy’s hands hard until he yelped and released her. Then she stomped down on his instep and was glad to hear the sickening snap.
“You fucking bitch!” The guy lunged at her, but she darted out of his way and took off running. She wasn’t fast enough though, as one of the other men dove at her and tackled her to the ground. She landed hard enough that it knocked the wind out of her, and she couldn’t scream right away. She looked around, hoping to see someone else, anyone else, but the area was deserted. The man slapped her across the face and began tearing at her clothes.
“Let go, please, let me go!” she screamed. It was harder to fight off her assailant now that she was flat on her back, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try. She raked at his face with her nails and brought her knee up to connect with his groin. As he rolled over in pain, she hopped up and took off again.
It was then that she heard the gunshots. She froze, even though common sense was telling her to keep going for the love of god, one of them has a gun! “Shit!” she heard one of the men yell. “Shit, let’s get outta here!” “Dude’s gotta gun, fuck, run!” She heard the sounds of a fracas after that, and it sounded like whoever it was that had the gun was laying some serious smack-down on her assailants.
Ah. Her mystery guardian. She should’ve known. Though he sure took his sweet time coming to her aid, now didn’t he? She thought about waiting to talk to him, but she was too shaken up to just stand in the street any longer, so she continued walking toward the market. “Thanks a lot!” she called with a wave of her hand over her shoulder. Then, under her breath, she muttered, “But, didn’t you know? I’m worth more to Shinra actually breathing.”
She made it home without any further incident, though the people in the marketplace did give her some odd looks. She wondered how bad she looked, and when she trudged up the stairs to her bathroom, she was not pleased with her reflection. Her face was a little scratched up, and there was a really lovely purple bruise forming on her cheek where that guy had slapped her. Her clothes were pretty torn up, and with some chagrin, she noticed that her lacy white bra was completely visible. No wonder the people at the marketplace had given her such weird looks.
She took a long, hot bath, and it helped some of the aches in her muscles. Then she changed into a long cotton nightgown, and pulled her hair away from her face in a tight ponytail. She was thankful her mother was already sleeping, it wouldn’t do to worry her right now. She was about to head to her own bed when there was a knock at the door.
Sighing heavily, she made her way downstairs, pulling on her worn old robe as she went. She paused briefly before opening the door. “Who is it?” she asked.
“Aeris, let me in.”
Eyes widening, she flung the door open. “Tseng?” she asked incredulously.
“Oh, god,” he said upon seeing her face.
Aeris looked behind her and put her finger to her lips. “Shh. Come on, let’s go out to the garden,” she said, leading him outside. “Don’t want to wake Mom.”
“I’m so sorry,” Tseng said once they were in the garden. He had his hands on her shoulders, and he was studying her face as intently as he could in the moonlight. “Are you hurt badly?”
“No, I’m not,” she said. She motioned to her cheek. “That’s about the worst of it. I managed to fight them off, for the most part. Was it you who showed up, then?”
Tseng shook his head. “No, I wasn’t at the church today. It was Reno and Rude. They called me immediately, said they’d just ‘beaten the shit out of some assholes who’d attacked the Ancient.’ Reno’s words, not mine.”
“You weren’t at the church -- today?” Aeris questioned. “Meaning you have been, other days?”
Tseng looked suitably chagrined. “I couldn’t handle just leaving you,” he said.
“But you didn’t think I might want to know you were still around?” Aeris asked, feeling her temper start to flare.
“You were angry with me last time we saw each other.”
“And rightfully so!” she retorted. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted you to disappear off the face of the planet! And how creepy is it that you’ve been able to watch me without me knowing? Tseng … I just … don’t know.”
“You know why I did it,” Tseng said, but it was a weak excuse in Aeris’ mind.
“Oh, and don’t get me started on that!” Aeris snapped. “Don’t you think it would have been more -- what was that word you used? -- prudent to talk to me about how you were feeling before sticking your tongue down my throat?”
“Aeris!” Tseng chided her, obviously shocked at her turn of phrase.
“I was angry with you, yes. But not for the reasons you think,” Aeris said, feeling somewhat calmer now. “I was angry because you didn’t even give me a chance to voice how I might feel about the whole thing. You disrespected me, and Zack, and …”
“This has nothing to do with Zack,” Tseng interjected.
“But it does!” Aeris protested. “I love Zack.”
“The official word is that Zack died in action,” Tseng said then, suddenly.
Aeris’ mouth formed a thin line. “But you don’t believe that, do you? Or you would have told me before.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t believe that.”
“Then … what do you think happened to him?” She was almost afraid to hear what he might say.
She heard his sharp intake of breath, and then he was holding both of her hands in his. She made herself look up at him. “I think he deserted,” he told her honestly. “And I don’t think he’s coming back.”
“Huh,” Aeris said. “Funny that that is your first assumption.”
“Well, what’s your explanation, then?” He hadn’t let go of her hands yet, but she didn’t really see any need to pull away from him herself.
“Maybe … he was captured by someone?” she said.
“You really do want to see the best in everyone, don’t you?” Tseng asked, his voice full of wonder as he looked down at her.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t still be out here, talking to you.” She sighed then and pulled her hands away from his. “Good night, Tseng. Don’t creep around the church any more, okay? Oh, and tell Reno and Rude … thanks.”
X-x-X
Aeris’ eyes fluttered open when she felt the presence of someone else in the church. She must’ve dozed off, because she woke up, lying on the hardwood floor of the church next to the flowerbed. Tseng was standing over her.
“Creepy,” she muttered, sitting up. “What’s going on?”
“I just got here,” he told her, his voice borderline sullen. Aeris rolled her eyes. He really was a big baby.
“Okay, you just got here. You should’ve like, nudged me awake or something, instead of just standing there.”
“I was about to,” he told her wryly. He held out his hand to help her stand up.
She straightened out her skirt and brushed off any dust she might have accumulated from lying on the floor. “Is something wrong?” she asked, finally taking note of the expression on his face.
“I did some inquiring -- there are no Shinra SOLDIERS First Class in any of the prison camps, anywhere in the world,” he said, his voice grave. “We would know -- there aren’t that many First Classes out there.” He paused. “And of course, we considered that he wouldn’t tell them his real name or rank -- but there’s no one fitting Zack’s description, either.”
Aeris was pleased to hear that he’d taken her suggestion about what might have happened to Zack seriously, but this news was anything but pleasing. She felt her shoulders sag a little bit. “I … Um, thank you for checking,” she said in a small voice. Shaking her head, she turned away from him, hoping that she wouldn’t start crying or something stupid like that.
Maybe it would be better if they would just get news that he was dead. Thinking that he had deserted without a word -- well, that one stung a little bit more than she liked to admit. For a brief moment, she wondered if Tseng was lying to her, but she pushed that thought aside. She believed in Tseng, and he had always been honest with her before.
“I’m going to Junon for the week. Reno will be around,” Tseng said then. “Unless -- you’d like to come with me?” He sounded anxious, and Aeris found it endearing, though she never would have admitted it.
She just looked at him, a little startled at the invitation. Zack had always promised to take her to the world outside the slums. Part of her wanted to go -- but a bigger part of her felt like it would be betraying Zack. “No, thank you,” she said politely.
“Aeris,” Tseng began, but he apparently thought better about whatever it was he was going to say. “I’ll see you in a week.”
Aeris just nodded. “Have a nice trip.”
X-x-X
It was another three weeks before she saw Tseng again, and she could tell by his expression that his trip had not been a pleasant one. And if she was being honest, the last three weeks hadn’t been a whole lot of fun for her, either.
Since the other Turks sent to watch her never interacted with her, it gave her a lot of time to herself -- just her and her thoughts. And the bad thoughts seemed to be more abundant these days. It was starting to become very clear that Tseng’s idea, about Zack deserting and taking off, was the truth.
She hated herself for even entertaining the idea, but it was hard to ignore what was staring her in the face. Zack had always been free spirit. She’d known that about him all along. She supposed she couldn’t honestly be that surprised.
So when Tseng came back, she had a lot to tell him. She turned as soon as he entered the church, and gave pause when she saw the dour expression on his face. She knew better than to question him -- he couldn’t talk about his job. Shinra was a secretive organization. “How was your trip?” she asked, even though she knew the answer.
He sat down on the pew closest to the flowers, and sighed heavily. “Longer than anticipated,” he said. “Exhausting. I’m glad to be home.”
Aeris’ brow furrowed at that. “Home? You mean Midgar?” Funny, she’d never bothered to ask Tseng where he was from. She supposed it didn’t really matter all that much, but it seemed like something that maybe she should know about him.
“Midgar, here, wherever,” he said tiredly.
“You think of here as home, Tseng?” Aeris asked, genuinely surprised by his answer.
“I do spend most of my time here,” he told her drolly.
She walked over and sat beside him. “I’m glad you’re back too,” she told him. “There’s no one to talk to when you aren’t here.”
He made a sound between a grunt and a chuckle. “Talk, huh?” he said. “I don’t know, sometimes I get tired of talking.” He looked at her then, and Aeris couldn’t ignore the heat she saw in his eyes as he started to lean toward her.
“But I need to talk to you,” Aeris told him, hoping he’d understand, as she put her hand on his arm to stop his advances. “I did a lot of thinking while you were gone this time.”
“Yeah?” he said, sitting back, his arms stretched out on either side of him across the top of the pew. It was such a casual pose, and Aeris just stared for a minute. Tseng was always so formal, she’d never seen him just relax before. It was strange, and yet, oddly comforting, to see him this way. So. He was human, after all.
“I just realized a few things. Things I think I knew all along,” she said. “I just … didn’t want to say them out loud.” Tseng didn’t move. His eyes were holding her captive in their gaze, and she fidgeted nervously, picking at non-existent lint on her skirt. “Zack is gone,” she said, and she cringed at the way it sounded, actually saying it out loud. “He’s gone, and he’s … not coming back. It’s been nearly five years. And I can’t keep waiting on him. Not when it comes at the expense of everything else.”
She stood up then, ignoring the tears that pricked at the back of her eyes, and started walking toward the door of the church. “I just wanted you to know, that you were right.”
“And now you’re leaving?” he asked her.
“Yes, now I’m leaving,” she told him, nodding her head firmly. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He was fast -- he was in front of her, blocking off the door before she really knew what was happening. “You’re crying,” he said when he looked at her face.
“Yeah? Well, it’s not easy to admit things like that.” She looked away and swiped at the traitorous tears on her cheeks.
“If it helps,” Tseng said, using his forefinger to turn her face back to his, “I don’t think he would’ve left if there were any other choice.”
Aeris laughed joylessly. “That’s nice, Tseng, but you don’t have to do that. Zack never really has been the settle-down-with-one-girl type, and we both know that.”
“Then he’s a fool,” Tseng said, and the conviction in his voice shook Aeris to her very core. “Aeris, I -- ”
Aeris put her fingers to his lips then, silencing him. “Shhh,” she said, leaning forward and pressing her lips against his.
This was probably a mistake -- no, not probably. It was a big mistake. But her heart was aching and she was tired of being alone all the time. And if she could be held and cherished by someone who obviously cared about her, even if only for a moment, well then, that was enough.
“Aeris, Aeris,” Tseng gasped out as he turned her around and backed her against a nearby pillar. His hands were in her hair and he was kissing her insistently. But he pulled back long enough to look at her. “Aeris, you don’t really want to do this,” he told her.
“Yes, I do,” she said, pulling him back toward her. “I do.”
“But … here, Aeris?”
She finally looked away from his face and realized that their current venue probably wasn’t the best choice. “No, I suppose not,” she said glumly, as reality set in.
“Come with me,” he said, pulling her by the arm and leading her out of the church.
“Where are we going?” she asked him.
She found out soon enough, when he stopped in front of a modest house not far from her church. “I bought this years ago, when I was first assigned to look out for you,” he said. “I don’t really live here, but it’s convenient when I’m too tired to go up above the plate to my apartment.”
Aeris nodded, and let him lead her inside. It was a simple three-room home, with a large room that served as a bedroom/living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom just beyond that. The only furniture was a bed in the main room, a small, outdated television set, a worn out end table with an old lamp on it, and a table in the kitchen. Obviously, Tseng only used this place as a crash pad.
“This place isn’t being watched?” she asked him.
“Shinra doesn’t know about this place at all,” he told her.
Aeris’ heart was pounding wildly. She couldn’t believe her boldness right now, but she also didn’t have any intention of stopping. She leaned back against the door and looked up at him. “Why didn’t you leave?” she asked him then, as he crossed the room and turned on the small lamp.
“What are you talking about?” he asked her, perplexed by this turn of events.
“When you told me you were transferring, and then you … kissed me … why didn’t you leave then?”
Tseng sighed. “I like to think I’m a smart man, Aeris,” he said. “And I knew it would be a stupid move, leaving you. Losing you, in any capacity, would be foolish.”
Aeris narrowed her eyes. “Because of Shinra?” She had to ask it. She had to know before this went one inch further.
“No!” Tseng shouted. “Maybe that’s how it was at first, I won’t lie about that. But not any more. Aeris, these last five years have been … the best and the worst of my life. And that has nothing to do with Shinra.”
“But you wouldn’t even know me, if not for them,” she pointed out.
“That’s true, and I’ll be thankful till the day I die for that,” he said, and it was the most earnest she had ever heard him. He crossed the room and stood in front of her. His hands were placed flat against the door, on either side of her head, effectively boxing her in. “Maybe you’re my curse,” he told her in a ragged whisper, “but I adore you. And Zack was an idiot for leaving you the way he did.”
He crushed his mouth down on hers then, and she didn’t feel the need to talk any more. She fisted her hands into the fabric of his button-up shirt and pulled him closer, and felt his hands at her waist then. He lifted her off the ground easily and carried her over to the bed, his lips never leaving hers. Once he lay her down among the pillows, his mouth began to roam. He nipped at her earlobe, and chuckled resonantly in when he felt her shudder.
His lips ran a scorching trail down her neck, all the while, his fingers worked the buttons on her dress. Aeris felt like her whole body was on fire. Tseng was insistent and thorough, his hands brushing over inch of exposed flesh that he could. It was different than Zack’s eager earnestness. It was like she was some sort of new religion, and Tseng just wanted to worship her.
He pushed the dress off her shoulders then, leaving her top exposed, save for her lacy bra. He ran his hand over that, and then he shoved the straps of her bra down, causing her breasts to spill over the top of the material.
He sucked in his breath. “You are perfect,” he whispered roughly just seconds before his lips closed over one of her taut nipples.
She arched her back and gasped at the sensation. He continued to unbutton her dress until it was completely open. As he moved his attention from one breast to the other, his hand dipped below the waistband of her frilly under things, and she closed her eyes and hissed in pleasure as he slipped one of his fingers inside of her.
“Oh, god, I love you,” he breathed, looking up at her, and then capturing her mouth with his own yet again. His tongue mimicked the motion of his fingers inside of her, and it wasn’t long before Aeris could feel the pleasure reaching its peak. He was good at this, a fact that was not lost on her. He knew exactly what to do, and when she came, it was with a long, shuddering cry. His eyes never left her face, and they were dark with desire by this time. She moved to sit up and -- return the favor -- but he shook his head. “No,” he told her, his voice hoarse. “I just need to feel you.”
He started unbuttoning his shirt, but she reached up and finished the job for him, and then she moved to the button on his trousers. She bit her lower lip when he was completely free of his clothing. He was a … good-sized man. In all areas.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said when he saw the look on her face. “Aeris, you’re not a …”
She cut him off by reaching out and wrapping her hand around him. He groaned as she stroked him gently. “No,” she told him. “No, I’m not.” She slipped her underwear off and then guided him to her center. “But it’s been …” She gasped when he entered her, almost forgetting her train of thought. “A really long time,” she finished breathlessly.
Tseng’s hands were in her hair again, and he lowered his lips to hers again as he moved inside her. She rocked her hips to meet his thrusts and could feel another wave building within her.
Tseng’s kisses grew more insistent the closer to release that he got, and Aeris could swear her lips would be bruised the next day, but it felt so good right now, just being held and loved again. Her fingers dug into the skin on his shoulders when she came this time, and he followed soon after, bellowing out her name.
He collapsed on top of her, and she laughed a little. “Oof, you’re heavy,” she teased him, tickling at his ribs to make him move over.
“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at her intently. “Did I hurt you?”
“Calm down,” Aeris said. “I’m fine, really.”
“Aeris … I …” Tseng began as he rolled to the side, but he kept her cradled in his arms.
“Shhh,” she told him. “You don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to,” he said. “I want you to know that …”
“Hey, Tseng,” Aeris said, looking over at him. “It’s okay. I know.” She smiled. “And I’m not upset or angry or regretful or anything like that.”
“I meant it, you know,” he said after a long silence. “I do love you. I always have.”
Aeris closed her eyes and contemplated the phrase. She didn’t think she and Zack had ever said that to each other. Not seriously, anyway. It was -- nice to hear. She didn’t know what she felt for Tseng right now. She didn’t think that she loved him -- but she did care about him a great deal. “I need to get home, or my mother will worry,” she told him, her voice apologetic.
“Oh, of course,” he said, and she could see that her words had hurt him.
She wanted to apologize, but surely he knew before that this wasn’t … not yet, anyway. But maybe in time, it would be. And they had plenty of time. There was no need for any kind of rush.
“Tseng,” she told him, putting her hand on his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be sad. We have plenty of time, right? You’re not going anywhere, are you?” She smiled, and he smiled back. She leaned forward and kissed him again, and was somewhat delighted to see that he was up for more than kissing, already.
It was nearly an hour later, and she was gathering up her clothes and getting redressed when Tseng’s cell phone rang. “This is Tseng,” he said into the phone, his voice stern and serious. She wanted to giggle, because not five minutes ago, he’d been crying out in ecstasy. But she knew better than that.
His expression changed so fast, Aeris would have sworn that somebody had flicked a switch within him. “I understand,” Tseng was saying. “Yes, thank you for the alert, I’ll make sure everyone is aware. Yes sir. Good night, sir.”
Aeris had been buttoning up her dress, but the tone in Tseng’s voice had caused her to freeze. She didn’t dare look at him, afraid of what his expression was going to say.
“Zack is alive,” he said, his voice completely flat and expressionless. “And we have orders to kill him on sight if he refuses to return to Shinra with us.”
Aeris sank to the floor then. Alive, alive, Zack is still alive … but for how long? “Are you going to kill him?” she asked then, her heart in her throat.
“I will not.” Tseng’s voice had gone back to the cold, impersonal one Aeris had grown used to. Gone was the man who had declared his love for her not five minutes ago. “I’ll do everything in my power to get him back safely.”
Aeris nodded. “Thank you,” she said simply.
Apparently, there was no time left.
THE END (sort of)
Okay. In regards to the ending. I am aware that the OG leads you to believe that Aeris doesn't know WHAT happened to Zack. But after playing Crisis Core (I know, I know, OG purists are freaking out right now), I've become of the mind that Tseng let her know of Zack's fate at some point. As far as her attitude regarding Zack in the OG goes, it's always (even before CC came out) been my personal opinion that deep down, she knew, and was possibly just posturing/not wanting to lament about Zack too much around the guy she was starting to have feelings for (Cloud). And since this IS based on the Crisis Core canon, I thought it would be all right to use the little bit that shows that she just somehow knows. I hope this doesn't ruin the fic for some people. I know I'm being very loose and fast with the canon here, but for this fic, it's what works. If someone thinks that this should be labeled as an AU because of that, PLEASE let me know, and I will do so. Thank you for reading! :)