letting it out
Did I really deserve this?
I loved daniel so much. a big part of me really thought we were going to be together forever. I should have known better, i should have listened to my friends and family when they told me that he was no good. Or is it be because i listened to them and didn't follow my heart in the first place that this all happened? was it me who pushed him away? or did he really want some one else all along?
i think in the begining, we really were in love. the kind of love that is pure and true and you read about in fairy tales. i used to feel it when he looked me in the eye. his green eyes would see through to my soul and he would love me for the messed up bitch i am. and i loved him, for the arrogant asshole who always new what to say to make me melt. i don't really know when things started to change, but part of me wishes they never had.
I am going to miss kissing him, laying in his arms and feeling safe and complete, and feeling beautiful, cuz only he could make me feel that way. I am not going to miss paying for everything, feeling unappreciated and shitty sex that lasted less than a minute(which was most of the time, but not all the time, when he tried he could make me cum).
i wish i could say that this is the last night i will spend crying myself to sleep because of him, but i know that is not true. i know it is going to take a long time to get over him, and i will never forget him. Daniel taught me a lot about life and love. I have learned that love does not conquere all. Some parents like to talk about sex with their kids. Family is everything. And some boys really do not get full no matter how much you feed them.
I am happy that he blocked me from seeing his myspace, because although i would like to think i will never want to see him again, i know i would want to look. And seeing all his little sluts, would hurt too much. So thank you for that, but it also makes me wonder what you have to hide from me and that hurts worse. I know i said that after we talked in the park i was done with you, but i do have one thing to say, and even though you will never see this i need to let it out.
~I really hope that everything you said in the park was true. I hope that you are nothing without me, and that you will never find another woman to love and cherish. I hope that every time you hear one of our songs, eat ice cream or sit through a thunderstorm you think of me and everything we had. I hope that what you did by looking for other girls, fucking Megan, and taking me for granted eats you up inside. I hope you will never find a girl who makes love to you like i did. I hope you regret losing me, everyday for the rest of your life. You have no idea how much you hurt me, and you never will. You will be fucking new sluts tomorrow and i bet you will be married by the end of next year because you can't handle being alone. I also hope you are happy with your new life, and that weather or not you stay in the ARMY, you lead a great life. I am not completely vindictive.
You say that i hurt you so much by not telling my parents and that you think i was ashamed of you. I have never been ashamed of you. I stood by your side through all your shit, your Grandad passing, joining the ARMY, the accident and you being such a nice guy you could never let your ex's go. Why then, was it so hard for you to stand by my side about telling my parents? Are relationship was alsways a little one sided.
enojy your life, find happiness in whatever you do, and leave me the fuck alone.
I loved daniel so much. a big part of me really thought we were going to be together forever. I should have known better, i should have listened to my friends and family when they told me that he was no good. Or is it be because i listened to them and didn't follow my heart in the first place that this all happened? was it me who pushed him away? or did he really want some one else all along?
i think in the begining, we really were in love. the kind of love that is pure and true and you read about in fairy tales. i used to feel it when he looked me in the eye. his green eyes would see through to my soul and he would love me for the messed up bitch i am. and i loved him, for the arrogant asshole who always new what to say to make me melt. i don't really know when things started to change, but part of me wishes they never had.
I am going to miss kissing him, laying in his arms and feeling safe and complete, and feeling beautiful, cuz only he could make me feel that way. I am not going to miss paying for everything, feeling unappreciated and shitty sex that lasted less than a minute(which was most of the time, but not all the time, when he tried he could make me cum).
i wish i could say that this is the last night i will spend crying myself to sleep because of him, but i know that is not true. i know it is going to take a long time to get over him, and i will never forget him. Daniel taught me a lot about life and love. I have learned that love does not conquere all. Some parents like to talk about sex with their kids. Family is everything. And some boys really do not get full no matter how much you feed them.
I am happy that he blocked me from seeing his myspace, because although i would like to think i will never want to see him again, i know i would want to look. And seeing all his little sluts, would hurt too much. So thank you for that, but it also makes me wonder what you have to hide from me and that hurts worse. I know i said that after we talked in the park i was done with you, but i do have one thing to say, and even though you will never see this i need to let it out.
~I really hope that everything you said in the park was true. I hope that you are nothing without me, and that you will never find another woman to love and cherish. I hope that every time you hear one of our songs, eat ice cream or sit through a thunderstorm you think of me and everything we had. I hope that what you did by looking for other girls, fucking Megan, and taking me for granted eats you up inside. I hope you will never find a girl who makes love to you like i did. I hope you regret losing me, everyday for the rest of your life. You have no idea how much you hurt me, and you never will. You will be fucking new sluts tomorrow and i bet you will be married by the end of next year because you can't handle being alone. I also hope you are happy with your new life, and that weather or not you stay in the ARMY, you lead a great life. I am not completely vindictive.
You say that i hurt you so much by not telling my parents and that you think i was ashamed of you. I have never been ashamed of you. I stood by your side through all your shit, your Grandad passing, joining the ARMY, the accident and you being such a nice guy you could never let your ex's go. Why then, was it so hard for you to stand by my side about telling my parents? Are relationship was alsways a little one sided.
enojy your life, find happiness in whatever you do, and leave me the fuck alone.