A rather rough day.
Last Friday I didn't have to go to work, which was good, since I didn't get home from the New Year's party until 5 AM. Ordinarily, I'd have done my LOTR marathon then, but I had plans for later that day and I was throwing a wine tasting party Saturday night, so I decided to clean my house instead. My plans? Run a few errands, go to shooting
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I'm sorry, MrKimi, but this seems to be the excuse I hear most often from menfolk. "Girls never say what they mean!" Bullshit. We say what we mean all the damn time and guys either ignore it or forget it. I learned this when I was married. I thought because I was a girl I had to be careful not to fall into the trap of "hinting" or "insinuating" because I, too, had grown up believing that we like to jerk guys around by being intentionally (or unintentionally) unclear. So I was very careful to be clear every time I spoke to my wasband and learned very quickly that the fault did no lie with me. Now, he was a creep in the most extreme sense of the word, so not all guys are that bad, but ask any girl here and they will tell you that they are not as complicated as you men like to say.
Sorry, but your reply just smacked of blame on me for having such a fantastically complicated brain, and I know you didn't mean it that way. This is not a rant at you, this is a rant that I have carried around for years!
You know I love you, right? :)
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I'm not trying to represent this as a virtue of guys, we are often just really bad at communicating. This is one reason why we nearly all learn to talk from our mothers (who know how to talk because they are women). It's not that you don't say what you mean, it's usually that we aren't listening (duh!) or we didn't understand it and didn't say so (duh! again).
Part of this being useless at communicating manifests like the difference between broadband and dialup. With broadband you are always on, always connected, processing everything as it comes up. In short you are a woman.
With dialup you have to press buttons and listen for some odd noises as the modem connects etc and only when some preliminary messages have been exchanged, some of which probably got lost and had to be resent, only then are you able to communicate, in short you are a man. Even then the connection drops out from time to time and is pretty slow.
I do agree that the conversation you recount made it clear it was up to him to name a time and he didn't. We males can overcome our limited communication ability to some extent and if we don't put a little effort in then we're not worth it. I think the one thing I'd hold out for here is the point that we do start from a lower base.
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Sorry. You are right.
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See? Men can learn to communicate just fine! ;)
You are free to be flip any time here. The only problem I had with it is that I do not buy into the whole women-as-superior-communicators theory. I, myself, am a rotten communicator, mainly because I typically prefer not to pick up a phone and call/text someone. I have been working my way out of that in recent weeks by forcing myself to place one phone call or send one text per day outside of work. I don't always do it (today, for example), but I'm working on it.
However, I believe women and men are equally balanced here and if a person sucks at communication, it's because they suck at communication, not because they are male or female.
Also, the conversation wherein he promised to let me know a time to meet was carried on entirely by text, so he could look back at any time for clarification. I did. Three times. I wanted to be sure I had a right to be miffed!
OK, enough! I will say no more. Unless you do and I feel like trying to get the last word in again.
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:)
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