Still a long way to go
'I guess it's accurate to say that your mum single-handedly raised you (and your siblings) up, even without the presence of a father figure; and you turned out okay not like some stupid emo attention-seeking brat.'
Nicest compliment anyone's ever said to me in a while.
I admit, I'm raised in a matriarchal family. Sometimes I wonder if having a father figure would have altered the way I am now.
I guess I'll never find out.
Unexpected bawling/breakdown in public. I feel guilty for keeping it in and confiding in no one and I feel so fucking lonely sometimes (but I know, this is entirely my own fault) but sigh I feel kind of relived now that I've told someone close to me all my fears and anxieties and just plain fucking overthinking. What. I'm a woman. Women are especially sensitive creatures okay. Lol.
But I guess it felt good to just gush out my emotions, although I'm so weak at it. In this aspect I guess I'm like Holly in Breakfast at Tiffany's, unable to confide in anyone and perpetually concealing something. I can't help it. If I trust so easily, how will I know if I won't be excluded one day?
Uni life is okay I guess. I really wanna get good enough CAP to certify for a honours degree though. As much as I can now, education is my only escape. I'm trying to change and be more involved. I'll try. I'm still so immature sometimes I can't stand myself.
Tolerance. Patience. Perseverance.
Edit; DEEPA IS COMING BACK!!!! It's been almost 5/6 months since she went Christ college to study I'm missing her like crazy TT____TT really miss my JC school life just a year ago with close friends to crap and bitch with and all. I can yadda on lol but I have class later at 10 and it's 1 now and I need to wake up at 7. So. Till next time.