Thoughts and ramblings.
While showering realized that its been around 7 months 8 days since I saw Sho with my own eyes.
And probably around slightly less than 2 months since I last saw Aiba-mama/went Keikarou (which I kind of regretted not being in a better condition but another post-Japan day by day trip post another day....need to get down on it!!!).
And it's 2013 wow.
I think 2012 was one of the craziest and most probably the most entertaining/amusing/stressful times of my 19 year old life so far. Starting from the start of 2012....trying to come to terms being a J2 and mentally preparing myself for the impending A's, juggling between Choir and studies (which I thought I could've put in more effort into managing myself, zzz), intense training for overseas competition, actually taking my first airplane flight and going Venice for competition, stepping down from choir, striving and coping with peer pressure and self-motivation (read: ANGST ANGST ANGST), idol chasing after Sakurai Sho, restraining myself from fandom (well to each their own maybe some thought I didn't restrain at all but well it's over so that's that), preparing for Japan trip......
Try reading that in one whole breath.
Okay I admit I am long-winded orz.
Wow.
I'm so glad and feel very blessed to have experienced all these, would've never imagined my life to be so hectic. Because lmao yah lah I more anti-social last time okay hahaha.
To be honest, I really miss JC life. Learning, interacting, stressing, chatting, working hard, motivating each other - all for the wish of obtaining satisfactory results which determines our next step in life. A huge step.
I started this journal when I was in secondary 2/3? Maybe even earlier or later haha. And then got into my first idol-phase kinda fandom. Still am in :))) but that's not the point lol.
I guess fandom really changed my life?
Always very envious of those people who always go out with a lot of friends and are very sociable hahaha. Not that I'm begrudging the friends I have now, lol but I was naive. And I hope I grew out of it...?
These 2 years has really made me treasure so many more things that I had just taken for granted. Of course having more responsibilities suckzballz, but it's part of growing up haha.
It's scary how fast everyone is growing up. Am quite suprised and very very thankful and grateful and blessed (oops sentence structure ahahaha bleargh) that #awave has managed to grow :') I feel like a mom seeing everyone grow up lol. (LOLOL WHUT)
Thought of doing resolutions but hahaha maybe I need to rethink a bit....
Getting results back in around 2 weeks. Honestly don't know what to feel lol, the sense of fear and anticipation and trepidation is probably all coming back to me now.
Seeing how my colleagues at work are going to office so early, leaving late/having to do OT and also commiting themselves to their work, I wonder if I can really do that in the near future (SO DAMN NEAR GOSH D;). Would I be an office lady? A NEET (don't wanna end up like that but there's always a possibility T___T)? A freeloader? Freelancer?
Always thought everything would be good after I finally finish education, but I think I finally get what all the adults are saying now. Working is a chore T____T and being able to be a 'kid' is so much safer, so much more protected.
But I guess it's all part of growing up.
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