Not supposed to be here, but...
Just; really felt like posting.
(aka ranting/rambling/whatever hahaha)
Tomorrow (T____T)
So many things happened within such a short period of time, and...honestly? I think I know them more than my (current) school mates ><
The fact that we're in the same fandom means a lot.
I've changed so much.
And I've changed my perspective even more after meeting J.
Like, it's the first time I've heard of someone actually having met them before. I wouldn't even imagine it!!!!!! (even in my wildest dreams those are merely dreams after all)
And...I don't know I just feel like a bunch of...mixed emotions now.
I sorta can't believe that I actually cried so much while in the shower haha. 2 years....doesn't seem a long time but if you think about it, so many things can happen in two years.
So many things already happened in one year since we all met. (it's gonna be our one year anniversary soon, I think?? Haha I don't know quite confusing because members keep increasing - that's a blessing because everyone is lovely- )
Haha honestly I sound so lovesick but really? I wouldn't have realised so many things without them. I wouldn't have met people online for the first time in my life (apart from Sam which I've met in school last year haha). I wouldn't have gone out Fangirling the whole day and do nothing but fangirl and fangirl and spazz spazz spazz. I wouldn't have known about Natsu Matsuri. I wouldn't have....actually kept my faith and seen...Sakurai Sho in RL.
And all these things were possible because of them, and more importantly? I think it's J that has injected faith in us, although the chances might be slim, but she's really taught me how to persevere and strive on; that's it's not easy to be a /professional stalker HAHAHA OKAY NO I AM NOT AN IDOL STALKER -___-/ fangirl. You make sacrifices, you realise the impossibilities of things, but you keep believing.
Believing that one day your dreams might not be totally accurate, might not be exactly what you wished for, but it'll be something to go by.
I - I don't know what's the meaning of this post anymore haha.
But....
Two years. In the shower I kept thinking : will we be the same (as now) two years on? Will people leave? Will people stay? Will.... I don't know.
The possibilities are endless.
But the conclusion I've come up with, I guess, is to treasure every moment that we have now.
I think J has really kinda 'set' the direction for us in some way? Haha once she comes back everyone will be like, young adults (okay I'll be 20 1 year shy from legally being an adult I can't imagine it :/) . Okay I don't know what I'm saying :(
But....yeah. This past year has been really fun and at times we might disagree (there can't be perfections all the time; it's the imperfections and small misses that builds up experience) but...yeah. I really love y'all a lot (T___T) because the fact that we're in the same fandom makes us have a verrrrrrrry huge (limited?? HAHA) topic to keep us constantly talking haha. I kinda miss the HJJ talks LOLOL.
Just... Haha I guess this post was just for me to rant lol. I know that I have to treasure the memories, treasure what I have now, and I know for one that I will never regret all that we've done, all the sacrifices we've made, all the things that we did <3
Good luck J!!!! I can't wait for EOY, but I know for now that I have to concentrate on my studies and do well for A's. Thank you for constantly linking me to possible uni courses in JP haha though I've kinda decided to study locally my heart still itches to study in JP lol. You made me realise it's not that far-fetched a dream after all :') I- I don't know yet. I'll have to see my results and stuff. Bleargh.
Can foresee everyone sniffing and for me I know I'll definitely bawl if I don't it's a miracle LOL. Haha. :/ so emotionally charged lol.
I feel so much better ranting here hehe (did I say that already lol if you made it through to this line omg respect *^*) HAHA. Whew haven't written a long ass post in such a long time.
And....yeah. Awkward ending?!? LOL
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