4th ♥ Plantfection [Audio]

Aug 28, 2011 12:31

So, is there a doctor here?

I think I need some help.

[And she does not really want to elaborate.]

+xanth, +riku, !audio, +malkus, &holloways, +kloe, +rapunzel, +sycora

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 03:41:19 UTC
[A calmer than normal voice (He's learned that it's not very comforting when patients hear a panicked squawk) floats out of the journal.]

Yes? How may I help, miss?

[He's glanced at the other journal responses. Taking a bit of comfort in the idea that there's another doctor to fix everything if Malkus screws up. Just in case, of course.]

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[Audio] lightyourway August 28 2011, 04:02:06 UTC
What do you know about infections?

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 04:14:10 UTC
[He bites his lip, immediately thinking about the type of infection that only recently was the cause of his gruesome death. No, it couldn't be that. Don't get so worked up over potentially nothing.]

Rather unpleasant if you continue to let them grow. Better to clean and drain the infected area quickly! A clean leech or small cut is all. Perhaps covering it in an herbal mix or cream would help.

[Yes, dear. Leeches.]

If you require assistance with any of that, please let me know.

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[Audio] lightyourway August 28 2011, 04:19:56 UTC
Leech?

[As in. The blood-suckers?]

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 04:27:33 UTC
Mhm! Why, yes! Nature's little miracle cure. One or two will not drain more than needed, of course! And even then, it's only the bad blood so there's absolutely no risks involved.

[Yes. Malkus found out the proper amount of leeches after MUCH trial and error and quite a bit of "Sorry"s "My bad"s and "I'm sorry your friend is a bloodless husk"s.]

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[Audio] lightyourway August 28 2011, 04:44:32 UTC
Okay. Thank you. I'll remember. If I need your help.

[She really hopes she doesn't need to be leeched.]

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 05:39:29 UTC
Of course, dear. I am happy to help.

[Malkus is still worrying about that infection. And oh god is it possible that he might have spread it somehow. If that's the case, he will never forgive himself AGAIN. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.]

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[Audio] THREADJACK 1/2 abstinentzombie August 28 2011, 05:12:13 UTC
Re: [Audio] THREADJACK abstinentzombie August 28 2011, 05:12:34 UTC
How stupid are you?

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 05:42:00 UTC
...

...

...

[Well then.]

Pardon?

[THAT'S IT LADY. YOU. ME. OUTSIDE BY THE FLAG POLE. THREE O' CLOCK. Only not really, since a Plague Doctor is used to being belittled. Religious types never did appreciate the scientific and calculating methods of medicine, rather than relying on faith.]

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[Audio] abstinentzombie August 28 2011, 05:59:15 UTC
[Kloe would beat him up anyhow.]

Leeches don't do jack squat. Quit giving injured people false information about health. You'll kill them that way.

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 06:24:39 UTC
[Sigh.]

And I suppose faith and the acts of God shall put them right back in good health? Prayer has it's own ways of healing. Yes. But do not be angry at new, advanced practices of medicine. The studies have been done and leeches have been proven to remove any black bile and excess phlegm from the body, putting them back into the proper balance of the four humours.

[It seems Malkus will have to educate Kloe in the art of Humorism.]

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[Audio] abstinentzombie August 28 2011, 06:39:03 UTC
[Malkus you've just made Kloe's day.

Because now she is laughing hysterically at you.]

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 06:54:56 UTC
[Y'know that feeling like everyone is in on some sort of joke but you? Malkus has that feeling for some reason.]

Ahead of their time, perhaps, but these methods provide results. What!

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[Audio] abstinentzombie August 28 2011, 06:56:50 UTC
Do you, you know, sprinkle magical holy water on people, too, to cast out demons?

[Snerk.]

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[Audio] doctoral_bird August 28 2011, 07:03:19 UTC
Sometimes.

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