(no subject)
Hanfic: Yes
Main Hanson: Zac
Length: 21,160 words
Disclaimer: this story is a hanson fanfiction, please remember I do not know anyone in the band or anyone affiliated with the band and all events in this story are completely FICTIONAL
You'll Always Have My Heart
I was sitting in my room, it’s October 21st. I was looking through one of my many memory boxes. I rarely have time to do that anymore because I am so busy with my career and I'm rarely home. This time of year is always very busy for me but I always take the 21st, 22nd and 23rd off. That time off has helped to keep me grounded. I had the radio playing softly in the back ground. The box I was going through was from when I was 8 and I had moved into my new house because my mom remarried and that’s when I met him. Zac Hanson. When we first met he had long blond hair it only got longer before he cut it. I used to love playing with his hair he would always let me braid it when he was home. I moved to Tulsa the summer before he and his brothers, Ike and Tay, had their first hit single. After that song came out their fame came instantaneously they all stayed as grounded as possible. I was always the first one they visited when they came back from where ever they were and I was the last person they said goodbye to. Then I heard my new favorite song coming out of the speakers. It just happened to be by one of my close friends, Alicia Keys.
There’s always that one person that will always have your heart You never see it coming cause you’re blinded from the start Know that you’re that one for me it’s clear for everyone to see Ooh baby you will always be my boo
The day we moved in I asked my mom and Steve, her new husband, to set up my swing set first. They agreed after relentless begging on my part. They set it up in the back yard facing the neighbors’ house, but before I was allowed to play I had to put all my stuff in my room. I did so reluctantly, but it didn’t take very long, I mean how much stuff does an 8 year old have anyway. As soon as I was finished I ran downstairs and outside into the back yard. I always sat 'backwards' on the swing, I don’t really know why but I guess I wanted to be different. While I was swinging I began to hum a song to myself. I noticed that my shoe was untied, since I was very clumsy I knew if I didn’t tie it then it would cause me to fall somehow so I stopped swinging to tie it. I still heard a swing creaking as it swung back and forth and I heard someone singing. I got up and walked quietly over to the fence and looked to my right. The singing stopped but I still didn’t see anyone as I leaned farther over the fence. I thought I was imagining things so I turned around and headed back to my swing. I had only taken two steps before I heard leaves crunching, but it wasn’t me because there weren’t any leaves on our lawn. I turned around and saw a blond haired boy staring back at me "hi" he said. He said it so quiet I wasn't sure if he wanted to really say it at all
"Hi, I'm Lizzie" I replied trying to be friendly
"I'm Zac, did you just move in?"
"Yeah"
"Where’d you move from?"
"The other side of Tulsa"
"Oh" he seemed kind of disappointed
"How old are you?"
"I'm 7 but I'll be 8 next week, how old are you?"
"I'm 8 too"
"Do you like to play soccer?"
"Yeah, do you?"
"Yes! Maybe we could play sometime"
"Yeah, uh were you singing before?"
"Yes" he said kicking the leaves and staring at the ground
"I liked it"
"You did?!" he asked immediately cheering up
"Yeah, I did" we stood at the fence talking for an hour before out mothers called us in for lunch
"Do you want to play soccer with me and my brothers after?"
"Sure"
"I'll meet you here after lunch, okay"
"Okay, bye" I hollered as I ran into the house. From that day on Zac and I were inseparable.
I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and It’s the only way we know how to rock I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and It’s the only way we know how to rock
I was sitting in my room practicing playing my guitar. I was 10 and it was a week before Zac was supposed to be coming home from recording and I wanted to surprise him by being able to play some of their songs. DING DONG "Lizzie could you get that?" My mom hollered
"Mom, I'm practicing" I whined
"Now"
"Fine" I stood up and set my guitar on my bed. All I wanted to do was practice it wasn’t like the person at the door was anyone I wanted to see, or at least that’s what I thought. When I got downstairs and I opened the door "what?" I asked very rudely then I saw who was standing there "Oh MY GOD!" It was Zac I hugged him and practically tackled him
"I'm glad to see you too" he said laughing we sat on the front porch for a few minutes talking then I grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs to my room and quickly shut my door "El what are you doing?" Zac was the only one who called me El, never Liz or Lizzie or Elizabeth, it was always El or Beth
"What?" I asked trying to seem innocent but it wasn’t fooling him
"Did your mom change her mind or something?"
"No I'm still not allowed to have my guy friends in my room and I’m not allowed to have anyone in here with the door shut"
"Then why are we in here?" Zac asked sitting on the floor
"I want to show you something" I sat down on my bed and began to play "River". After I was done Zac came and sat next to me "what do you think?"
"That was really good"
"Thanks" I said blushing a little bit
"I'm so glad we are home now" Zac said lying down
"Me too" I said laying down next to him with my head on his chest
"Lizzie" my mom hollered
"Uh hold on" Zac and I got up and I pointed for him to hide in the closet "yeah mom" I said opening my bedroom door after zac had closed the closet door
"What took so long?"
"Oh uh I was just laying down"
"Okay, who was at the door?"
"Just some little kid selling cookies"
"Okay, don’t forget we are leaving for Steve’s parents’ house in an hour"
"Okay" I shut my door
"Crap"
"What?" Zac asked coming out of my closet
"I have to go to Steve's parents for the weekend
"But"
"I know" we stood there for a minute trying to figure out a way around this "I have an idea"
"What?"
"Climb out my window and go ring the door bell and pretend like you just got home"
"Okay" Zac said skeptically
"It will work trust me"
"Okay El" Zac used a rope that I just happened to have in my room to climb down. A minute later the door bell rang again
"Liz" my mom hollered
"Yeah"
"Come down here please"
"Coming" I hollered "yeah" I said walking into the living room
"Some one is here to see you" I looked at the door
"Zac!!" I ran over to him and hugged him; we both started laughing which caused my mom to look at us funny but no questions
"Liz don't forget we have to leave in an hour"
"Mom" I whined "I don’t want to go Zac's home"
"Well you have to"
"Can Zac come too then?"
"I guess but I'll have to ask Diana"
"Okay, we will go ask be right back" I said as we took off running to Zac's house. We asked Diana and she said yes. We went to Zac's room so he could pack. Ike and Tay were playing; it amazed me that they always seemed to be playing. Zac packed while I talked with Ike and Tay and told them what was going on. We went to Steve's parents and had a great weekend.
Do you remember girl I was the one that gave you your first kiss Cause I remember girl I was the one who said put your lips like this Even before all the fame and people screamin your name Girl I was there and you were my baby
The next memory that came drifting back was of February 14th when Zac and I were 13. We were at his house and he told me to put on my jacket and shoes but he would not tell me where he was going to take me. "Zac where are you taking me?" I asked as he took my hand and opened the door, which let in the cold winter wind, not that we weren't used to it but it was still cold
"Just come on" was all he said then he pulled me outside and shut the door. He took me to the tree house we (him, Ike, Tay, Walker and I) built the summer before they left to go on tour.
"Zac what are you doing?" I asked as he climbed up the ladder to the tree house and told me to follow him. "Fine" I said not really wanting to go up there but wondering what Zac was doing and my curiosity got the better of me. When I got inside the tree house there were a few heater blankets and Zac and mine favorite junk food "Zac what’s this for?"
"cause I wanted to have some food" he said staring at the floor which was a telltale sign that he was nervous about something I decide to ignore it for the time being and knew that he would tell me when he wanted me to know. We sat down eating our favorite food which happened to consist of jellybeans, Twinkies, and some Jell-O. We were up there for at least 2 hours laughing constantly. By the time we finished eating the massive amount of food Zac had gotten we were really full and it was beginning to get dark then we heard footsteps outside
"Zac! Lizzie!" Tay hollered
"Yes" we both said as calmly as possible
"Mom wants you to come in its almost time for dinner"
"Okay we will be in in a minute" Zac said "Liz" he said turning back towards me. I was really shocked that he called me Liz but I just let him talk. He just stood there for a couple minutes not saying anything
"Zac?" I asked cautiously not knowing what was going on at all and thinking that he was going to tell me something awful like he was moving. He didn’t say anything he just leaned forward and kissed me "uhh" was all I could say because I really wasn’t expecting my best friend to kiss me. Zac left the tree house as quick as he could without one word to me. I sat there stunned for a minute then I heard someone open the glass door that Zac had shut not 2 minutes earlier.
"Lizzie" I heard Ike holler
"Yeah?"
"Why are you sitting up here by yourself?" Ike said climbing up the ladder
"Umm..." Ike sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and grabbed a blanket which he put around us. "Uh Zac he uh he kissed me" I finally spit out
"Oh" was all Ike said
"Oh?" I asked wondering what he meant by it
"Well I just was waiting for this to happen"
"What?" i asked slightly shocked "you knew he liked me, he told you!" I was getting pretty mad at Ike for no reason but to this day I still blame it on my state of shock and we just laugh about it
"Elizabeth! calm down, he didn't tell me but I know these things, its a brother thing" I took slight offense because I didn't have any brothers or sisters so I didn't understand but I let it go because he had already gotten his fair share of yelling from me
"How long have you known?" I asked really quiet because I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer or not
"a few months" I almost started to cry but I didn't want to cry in front of Ike so I fought back the tears for a little while but it only lasted a couple minutes "so why did he go running out of here and lock himself into our room?" now I knew why Ike was really out there, I didn't doubt that he wanted to make sure I was okay and that Zac was okay too but he had a date that night and needed to get in his room to get ready I laughed slightly but it sounded funny because I was still crying
"All I said was uhh"
"Ooh"
"Ooh what?" I asked slightly mocking him
"You know how Zac is about stuff like this"
"Umm no not really"
"Well he's really shy and when you didn't say anything he took it wrong"
"Well what can I do?"
"Go talk to him"
"Incase you've forgotten he is currently locked in your room"
"no I definitely haven’t forgotten but I’m sure I can get you in I've had to get Jessie out when she locked herself in there because she didn't want to leave to go on tour so I'm an expert at it"
"I see" I said laughing I started to get up so I could go talk to Zac but Ike pulled me back down "yes?" I said my voice thick with sarcasm
"Do you like him?"
"Of course I like him he is my best friend"
"I meant as more than a friend" I honestly hadn’t really thought about it so I sat there for a few minutes trying to figure it out
"I don't know" I looked to Ike for some he obviously understood
"I really can't help you with that but what would you do if you had to move?" I immediately started crying I didn't even want that thought in my head I couldn't leave the boys and Jessie and Avery but especially Zac
"Ike why'd you say that? You know I couldn't ever leave you guys especially Zac I think I'd die if I was forced to"
"I think you like him"
"How can you tell?"
"Because whenever you talk about us it’s always you guys and Zac"
"So now what do I do?"
"Go talk to him and tell him what you just figured out"
"Thanks Ike" I said as we stood up and I gave him a big bear hug
"I do need to breath" He said laughing
"Yeah yeah yeah now could you open the door to your room?"
"Yes" He said smiling. We went inside and it took Ike about 2 minutes to get the door to open before I went in I whispered to Ike
"I guess you are an expert" He just laughed and closed the door after I went in. I looked around and didn't see Zac but I still knew he was there. I walked over to the closet and opened the door. It was one of his usual hiding places but he wasn't there so I went to the only other place he could be hiding, under the bunk beds. I didn't see Zac at first until his yellow Doc Martin moved "Zac please come talk to me"
"No" was the muffled response I got. I stuck my arm under his bed and grabbed his ankle and pulled "oww rug burn!" He climbed out
"Sorry about the rug burn" I said giving him a big hug and I wouldn’t let go eventually he hugged me back
"Its ok" he said sitting down on his bed he wouldn't look at me at all
"Zac"
"Yeah" he said looking past me
"Zachary Hanson look at me!" I scared my self a little bit there because I sounded so much like Diana. It took Zac all of 1 second to look at me " I am sorry I didn't say anything in the tree house I was just surprised"
"Oh"
"Let me finish, but I really like you"
"You do?"
"yeah I do" He hugged me and then just kind of looked at me funny like Tay does when's he's trying to figure out someone's sarcastic comment "you know you have that look on your face that Tay gets" I said trying my best not to laugh
"I do not" Zac whined
"You need to stop spending time with your brother because you even have the whining down" Zac just stuck his tongue out at me who made me lose any self control I had left
"What?"
"You" I said putting my arms around his neck and staring into his eyes. Which were all of a sudden very interesting? I had known him for 5 years and I never realized that his eyes weren't brown they were more of a caramel color and they were gorgeous. Then I realized just how cute my best friend was with his long blonde hair and caramel eyes and I wondered why I hadn't seen it before. I leaned in and kissed him. After we pulled away neither of us said anything for a while. Then someone knocked on the door causing us to jump
"Yeah" Zac answered pretty calmly
"Dinner" was all Ike said then we heard him walk back down the hall way
"So?" I asked
"So what?"
"What does this mean?"
"Umm would you be my girlfriend?" Zac asked very slowly taking a few seconds in between each word or maybe that was just me I'm still not sure on that
"Yes" I said taking his hand and walking out to the dining room so we could eat. We didn't get any strange looks from anyone; I didn't realize it was that obvious that we liked each other. After dinner I pulled Ike aside and asked him if everyone know he said yes I, being the curious 13 year old, asked how. I could tell he was going to pull another line like 'it’s a brother thing' but I stopped him before he could "Ike tell me the truth" he put his hand on my shoulder and as he walked past me he whispered in my ear
"Zac talks in his sleep"
It started when we were younger you were mine (my boo) Now another brother's taken over but it’s still in you’re eyes (my boo) Even though we use to argue it’s all right (my boo) I know we haven’t seen each other in a while But you will always be my boo
The next picture I found was in the box I had from High school. I went to Tulsa Central and Zac was home schooled or he had a tutor if he was on the road. The picture I found was of me and my boyfriend Jeff.
It was a week after Zac left to start recording the new cd when Jeff asked me out. Zac and I decided that it would be better to just be friends when he left for the This Time Around Tour. When I got home I immediately called Zac. The phone rang a few times before he picked up "Hello"
"Hey! Guess what"
"I don’t know El, what?"
"Jeff asked me out"
"Jeff who?"
"You know the guy that hung out with Isaac a little bit last summer"
"Oh did you say yes?"
"Yeah"
"That’s awesome" I could tell that he really didn't mean what he said and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I probably should have said no considering Zac and I had been talking about getting back together but Jeff would always be there and well Zac he wouldn't be but I knew he would always be my best friend
"Zac you don't sound too happy for me"
"Sorry I'm just not having a good day"
"What happened?" I asked sitting down on my bed just like he was there talking to me
"The record company is being really dumb"
"I'm sorry, what are they doing?"
"You know that song I wrote?"
"Umm Broken Angel?"
"Yeah they said it wasn't good enough for the album"
"Zac I'm so sorry, I wish that I was there but you know it’s a good song and I love it, if that counts for anything"
"Thanks I wish you were here too and of course your opinion counts for something"
"Thanks Zac, so when are you coming home?"
"It’s only been a week"
"I know but I miss my best friend climbing in my window late at night 'just cause'"
"Don’t worry yours will be the first window I climb through when we get back"
"What other people wouldn't give to hear you say that"
"I know I know it’s because I'm soooo sexy" Zac said laughing. That had been a joke between us since we were 11 and they left to tour the first time. It was the longest summer of my life I know that much
"Right Zac I'll let you think whatever you want"
"Okay, what are you doing right now?"
"Talking to my best friend and doing some English homework, what about you?"
"Trying to ignore Tay and talking to you of course"
"What’s Tay doing?"
"Being annoying"
"How’s he annoying you?"
"He’s being himself" I started to laugh but was able to contain myself before Zac picked up on it
"Zachary Walker! Be nice to your brother"
"Yes mommy"
"Zac I'm sorry but I have to go you know the no phone before I'm done my homework"
"Oh I suppose I'll let you go"
"Thanks, I'll call you later okay, and tell Tay and Ike I said hi"
"Okay bye" before he hung up I heard him yell to Tay and Ike that I said hi. This made me laugh he would never go tell anyone anything he would always holler to them and surprisingly I missed that, normally I just missed him. I didn't call him back that night because Jeff called and I talked to him for a few hours and then I had to go to sleep. I felt bad but I slowly forgot as I fell asleep. I was in that half dream half awake place and I thought Zac had come home and was talking to me in my room. When I fully woke up and realized he wasn't there I started crying, I guess my guilt had gotten to me more than I had thought. I reached over to my desk and picked up my cell phone. I turned it on; it started ringing "Hello center for ESPN research"
"Very funny Beth"
"I know I know"
"I still can't believe you dragged me to see that movie"
"Oh you know you liked it"
"Sure"
"Why’d you call?"
"Cause I knew you were going to call me, I have ESPN remember"
"Right"
"Actually I just wanted to see why you didn't call"
"Oh I'm so sorry Zac I meant to but Jeff called me and..."
"Oh I see how it is" Then Zac hung up. I started to cry harder thinking I had just lost my best friend then my phone rang I looked at the number and it wasn't Zac so I ignored it. They left a message in my voice mail box so I listened to it.
"Hey Elizabeth, its me I hope you know who it is but if you don’t you can call I'll be up for a while longer and I'm sorry he's a jerk sometimes bye talk to you soon love ya" That was it. It was Tay calling he must have been using a phone in the studio or something. I called his cell phone still crying
"Hey Tay" I managed to choke out
"Elizabeth I'm really sorry"
"Tay it’s my fault I didn't call him like I said i would"
"No it’s not your fault he has just had a bad day and he's kind of cranky"
"I know, I knew he was having a bad day I should have called him instead of talking with Jeff"
"Jeff?"
"My boyfriend"
"Oh, Liz I'm sorry but I've got to go, just call him ok he won’t hang up again"
"Thanks Tay, love you"
"Love you too" We hung up and I cried myself to sleep. The next day I didn't go to school I still felt like crap although I let my mom think it was because I was sick. After she left for work I called Zac. Ike answered his cell phone
"Ike what's Zac doing?"
"Recording"
"Let me hear, please"
"Sure"
"Thanks" Ike let me listen for a few minutes. When Zac was done Ike gave him the phone
"Zacjustlistendonthangup" I spit out really fast all in one breath
"I'm listening" he said very quietly. It seemed like he was upset with what he did I'm sure he already knew it hurt me.
"I'm really sorry for last night I should have told Jeff I had to call you, and I knew you were having a really bad day I wish I could redo last night and call you but I can't and I just wish you would have talked to me last night instead of hanging up that really hurt"
"I know I'm sorry I over reacted I just don’t want to lose you" there was a slight pause "as a friend, and I shouldn't have hung up on you I thought about calling you back but I didn't think you'd pick up. I'm sorry"
"Everything’s forgiven and forgotten"
"Thanks, same here, why are you calling at 11 am do you not have school or something"
"Uh not exactly, I was really upset this morning and my mom thought I was sick and I wasn't going to argue"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Zac you don't have to apologize any more and I'm enjoying my day off oh and I love that song, what's it called?"
"Lulla Belle"
"Ooh pretty name"
"Thanks I'll pass that on"
"Ok, well I'll let you get back to work but call me later ok" Zac called me later that night and everything was forgotten it was like the night before never even happened and when he told me he was happy that I had a boyfriend a week later i could tell that he really meant it this time. Jeff and I went out for about a year. He just got to be too much with Zac we were always hanging out and enjoying each other sometimes even just sitting in the same room not even saying anything but with Jeff we had to be doing something every second we were together. After I told Zac we broke up he seemed really sorry but slightly happy.
I was in love with you when we were younger you were mine (my boo) When I see you from time to time I still feel like that's my baby (my boo) You can see it no matter how I try to hide i can't hide it (my boo) And even though there’s another man who’s in my life You will always be my boo
The next thing I came across brought back a lot of painful memories. It was a picture of me and Zac in the tree house in his back yard. It was taken the day I moved. It was my senior year and he had been away recording the finishing touches on the cd. They had done an acoustic tour the year before and it was amazing I went to the shows that were close to Tulsa. He was still on the road when I called him with the bad news. I was moving to Plattsburgh. The first thing he said after I told him was 'where the hell is Plattsburgh' after I explained the location to him, Zac finally realized that I was moving, bad it wasn't just down the street either. We talked for hours that night. Since I was leaving in a week Zac flew home to see me. He didn't tell me that he was though so when my window slid open at 10:30 that night I screamed really loud. Zac just laughed at me and said I was way too easy to scare. I agreed and then laughed it off. He ended up staying the night and I am sure my mom and Steve knew about it but they didn't say anything because they felt bad making me move my last year of high school. The day I had to leave Zac helped me put all my stuff in the moving truck first thing in the morning so we could have all day to hang out. We went to the local Wal- Mart and bought 4 disposable cameras, we used all the film in them. The last picture we took was of us standing in front of the tree house. Or at least that's what I thought until I got the pictures developed. The last picture, which someone had taken without me knowing and I'm pretty sure Zac didn't have any clue either, was of Zac and I hugging. He had his arms around my waist and my arms were around his neck. We were staring into each others' eyes and I was leaning my forehead on his. We were both crying and it was very obvious in the picture. The last thing I said to Zac before I left was 'I'll come back I promise' but neither of us knew that he wouldn't be waiting for me, like he promised, when I got back.
Another memory quickly filled the void in my head that was left by the previous one
After I moved Zac and I stayed in touch. We talked every night and made plans to visit each other. During Spring Break my senior year I was going to Tulsa to see Zac. I was so excited, especially since my boyfriend, Dereck, didn't have a problem with me visiting Zac. I said good bye to all my friends right after school and went to the airport. My plane left a half hour after I got there. I got into Tulsa at 6:30. I was waiting at the baggage claim for my luggage when I remembered I had forgotten to call Zac to tell him when my flight was coming in. I pulled my cell phone out of my carry on bag and started to dial Zac's number "El" was all I heard before I was picked up from behind and spun around mid-air.
"Hi Zac"
"I've missed you so much"
"Me 2" we just stood there hugging in the middle of the airport. After a few minutes Zac took my hand and grabbed my luggage and headed out to his car. We drove back to his house and had dinner with everyone. Zac and I had desert by ourselves in the tree house. It was jellybeans, m&m's, and popcorn. We were in there for a few hours listening to music and talking. About 11:30 I got up to go inside because I was tired, but Zac pulled me back down to where he was still sitting and kissed me "Zac I'm sorry I can't do this I have a boyfriend"
"Sorry" Zac said staring at a knot in one of the boards on the floor
"Its okay but I can’t and I still love you, you know that right?"
"Yeah I guess"
"You guess!!" That started a wrestling match which didn’t end until Zac finally pinned me down. It was about 12 o clock when he did and since we didn't want to wake anyone up we decided to sleep in the tree house. I woke up the next morning holding Zac's hands and his arms were wrapped around me. I wished I could stay there all day but we had stuff we had to do. After I went back to Plattsburgh I wished I could go back to that day every single day of my life. The goal is always the same to be able to stay there forever and feel safe. That was the last time I would feel safe for a very long time.
Part 2