yep
so i just got back from the cape today, that was a pretty good time. i went with shane and kabina.
but yet i still find myself depressed, im stressed about work, im nervous about my upcoming show on the 16th(everyone please go!), i hate the drama that has be starting and stopping, then starting again, and im just so lonely, im starving for love, and not just friendship love, i have amazing friends and i know they will always love me. but i need real love, i need to feel the embrace of someone else i need to be able to talk to someone anytime i need it, i just need love. and the worst part is, that i am STILL in love with someone that doesnt love me back, i thought i would be over it by now but i am not, this is by far the hardest i have ever fallen for someone. i love her so much i would do anything for her i would fucking die for her. and as much as it pains me to know im not gonna be with her i have to learn to accept it. it hurts me so bad when she talks about other guys treating her like shit cuz i would never ever dream of hurting her, and i know i would be so good to her and she could finally be happy, but its not gonna happen. i think this hurts the most, when i tell her i hope she finds an amazing guy that will put her first, be nice to her, be caring to her, do anything for her, be willing to die for her, to just plain love her, with all of his heart, when i know for a fact i could do all of this for her i KNOW i could!, and i know she doesnt view me that way. i just wanna see her happy because i love her so much, and i know she will never be happy with me, she will only be happy with me as a friend, and thats what hurts the most
im not aiming to make her feel bad with this entry, its just that all these things needed to be said, i have been holding them in for way too long
-im just too nice-
but yet i still find myself depressed, im stressed about work, im nervous about my upcoming show on the 16th(everyone please go!), i hate the drama that has be starting and stopping, then starting again, and im just so lonely, im starving for love, and not just friendship love, i have amazing friends and i know they will always love me. but i need real love, i need to feel the embrace of someone else i need to be able to talk to someone anytime i need it, i just need love. and the worst part is, that i am STILL in love with someone that doesnt love me back, i thought i would be over it by now but i am not, this is by far the hardest i have ever fallen for someone. i love her so much i would do anything for her i would fucking die for her. and as much as it pains me to know im not gonna be with her i have to learn to accept it. it hurts me so bad when she talks about other guys treating her like shit cuz i would never ever dream of hurting her, and i know i would be so good to her and she could finally be happy, but its not gonna happen. i think this hurts the most, when i tell her i hope she finds an amazing guy that will put her first, be nice to her, be caring to her, do anything for her, be willing to die for her, to just plain love her, with all of his heart, when i know for a fact i could do all of this for her i KNOW i could!, and i know she doesnt view me that way. i just wanna see her happy because i love her so much, and i know she will never be happy with me, she will only be happy with me as a friend, and thats what hurts the most
im not aiming to make her feel bad with this entry, its just that all these things needed to be said, i have been holding them in for way too long
-im just too nice-