You’ll run 235mi I’ll run 3050mi
“Before,
When people had secrets they didn’t want to share
They’d climb a mountain,
Find a tree and carve a hole in it,
And whisper the secret in the hole.
Then cover it over with mud.
That way, nobody else would ever discover it.”
{I won't forget our screams into the hole}
Covering the Skylight on the roof of the Frost Musuem for my exhibition space.
They really need to be experienced not just seen...
At times when I look into my yard and onto the sunset, during this time it is most dramatic, during this is when I feel trapped with the idea of something better at a distance, wether its a diffrent place or death....
goodbye, for now ???
My wine drinkng friend is soon to be at a farther distance, but not farther than what wine and ones mind can distance itself from...
It makes me sad
They'll tie thier shoes and go...
Others may not see it, Others may get distracted, I see it, I'm always...
Well much has happened and almost nothing at all. The stress of school has subsided, earned A’s in every one of my classes. The BFA exhibition went well, I was awarded the Frost Museum something.. which means I am part of the museums collection. This project was my most ambitious and time consuming yet. In it I know the torment that created the work and I think only three of us will know where it truly originated.
With school ending I felt as if in limbo, unsure of what to do next, what will preoccupy my mind. I enjoyed school because it kept me preoccupied only to think just a few years ahead as my bigget goal, alright.. the aim is an AA degree then It became a BFA degree and here I am, Yet I don’t truly feel accomplished. I did feel some of that when the BFA show was around because I had a constant acknowledgment and appreciation for my work. I am the kind of person that it all fades much too quickly.
Since I decided I did not want to go straight into the graduate program for an MFA in Film making... I chosen to see places, cities, towns.. I need to get out... I need to really see more things than this place of mediocracy, I yearn to see life, I want something to really hook me, shake me, and keep me there....and as I do this first trip to San Francisco for about 15days? I know I am making a great jump to avoid crumbling down....I am using this city as a grand distraction. I did it before though when I went to Philadelphia I went to try to forget ..and SF to avoid the emptiness, solitude, isolation...and the feelings, thoughts that seem to be its best company.
Two of my friends are moving very soon... eventually another and those are ones I speak to most...The most frequent one won’t be until the Fall... amusing... ”the fall”” ... how appropriately melancholy......
23, don’t really know what I want, going to see the places for perspective, experience, to feel I’ve lived some, seen some... I know it won’t be enough.. perhaps I’ll find something in the trips....perhaps I will feel much more alone but here it goes.
+_-J.......