Floating Away, I see them below, not looking up
Went out to try my infared film on US 27, went with Daniel, remended me of our adventures from the past...it was bitter sweet...
Gave Alfrey a photo of himself and took another
Went to Chat Noir.....The Inauguration Celebration, I'd like to be a performer on a stage someday...
I think I may be breaking....
I finally burned them, art history..paintings, sculptures, photographs.. we should not be ruled by the past..we should do what we will, we must push the absurd, we must challenge the logical, irrational, sex, trust, and all that is life. {I made a video, low quiality, I'll put it together and get it on here soon enough}
In the photo-lab.. I feel alone, even when I'm not...
I was going to begin this entry with "I've seen better days" what a dumb way to begin. Of course I have, pathetic reminder to the self..This year however started well for me. A change happened that left me joyful for sometime and did not allow anything to bring me down. The dust has settled and its not in me anymore and I know I'm allergic. I have been waiting for this for almost a year. Though we are friends again... when such time gaps occur a change happens.. and well I'm not sure if its better or worse.. I do know though that I'm not close with anyone anymore. One came back into my life, another deleted me from hers, one has a, no speaking until, it seems I learn my lesson...the friendships have all watered down or disappeared. I can only believe there will be other things to come, hopefully the better kind. How is it that I cannot seem to escape life with melancholy ? .... I am have begun to let time just pass by,I am spending my time escaping into films.. I am not doing things for school I know I should be doing..which is of most importance to graduate with a great show. Whatever happens it seems nothing will be the same.. I have come to realize I will be disconnected because I am aware of the failure of it, I will be pessimistic because I am realistic, laughter and smiles it seems will not be sincere... what a wreck....I need someone to love, and be loved by. This heart needs to be warm.
+_-JesteR
PostScript:Recently watched film, The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant/ Directed by: Rainer Werner Fassbinder is a decent parallel to my life at the moment.