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I'm getting so excited to go home. I really am. My family is there, my friends are there (not that I don't have friends here, but you know), my LIFE is back home. As wonderful as this Salamancan adventure has been, I'm ready to get back to work, get back to school, get back to my LIFE.
But-
I'm afraid to go home too.
And that probably sounds weird, right? Afraid? To go home? What is there to possibly be afraid of? Like Aimee said tonight, we're all still here, still the same, and even if you've changed, we're still going to love you.
But-
there's this little thing I have to deal with when I go home... called Dan.
And I know how the majority of you feel about him. That I should move on, not even bother, yada yada yada. But it's NOT that simple. Whatever the answer is, no matter how that discussion goes down, it needs to happen, sooner rather than later. And I've accepted that I need to wait to have this conversation with him face to face. But it was so much easier to talk about when home was 2, 3 months away. 'Oh, I just need to wait until I'm home to talk to him.' And then it was easy enough to sit around and daydream and create a million and one scenarios in my head about how things were to go down.
But-
it's not so easy to do that anymore.
Every day that counts down, I get more excited. Steph is coming to the airport and I will get to meet her boyfriend who has been so good for her and hopefully Krissy will come to and I will get to hug my best friend and smoke a clove before I go home. And home will be good...I just know it will.
But-
the reality of it all is starting to come crashing down.
And I am afraid to hear what he has to say-
as much as I need to hear it.
I. Am. Afraid.
But-
I'm afraid to go home too.
And that probably sounds weird, right? Afraid? To go home? What is there to possibly be afraid of? Like Aimee said tonight, we're all still here, still the same, and even if you've changed, we're still going to love you.
But-
there's this little thing I have to deal with when I go home... called Dan.
And I know how the majority of you feel about him. That I should move on, not even bother, yada yada yada. But it's NOT that simple. Whatever the answer is, no matter how that discussion goes down, it needs to happen, sooner rather than later. And I've accepted that I need to wait to have this conversation with him face to face. But it was so much easier to talk about when home was 2, 3 months away. 'Oh, I just need to wait until I'm home to talk to him.' And then it was easy enough to sit around and daydream and create a million and one scenarios in my head about how things were to go down.
But-
it's not so easy to do that anymore.
Every day that counts down, I get more excited. Steph is coming to the airport and I will get to meet her boyfriend who has been so good for her and hopefully Krissy will come to and I will get to hug my best friend and smoke a clove before I go home. And home will be good...I just know it will.
But-
the reality of it all is starting to come crashing down.
And I am afraid to hear what he has to say-
as much as I need to hear it.
I. Am. Afraid.