Feeling Weird.
Maybe you can help me. The fact that I can't put a 'word' to these feelings, makes me freak out more. I hate having no explanation.
This is how I have been feeling for the past hour, and poor Thomas has had to deal with it.
PHYSICALLY
My eyes feel wide. It's like I'm looking around, seeing everything. Multiple colors, sounds, smells, tastes, everything. I'm drinking it in, yet it's not sticking. I speak without thinking, no matter how mean it sounds. I feel no emotion when I see how it has effected the person I am talking to - be it a good feeling or a horrible feeling they have.
My mind feels huge, yet nothing is staying in one place in there. I feel a little twitchy, and I stumble a bit. I feel surprised when I see something in my way, like I wasn't even noticing the big shelf there. I talk a little slowly. Maybe stuttering? It's kind of like I'm here, but not. I was hungry, but I could sit and stare at the wall for a long time, and not eat. I notice the slight breeze, but it feels like something new and foreign on my skin.
(I've done that before, when I didn't have any responsibilities for the day or night this has happened)
EMOTIONALLY
I feel nothing. I say things, and feel nothing when they are being said. I want to be alone, I am alone, just with people around me. Like an invisible shield. They mean nothing to me, nothing to anyone, they just are there, with no purpose.
I feel something 'clawing', something like embarrassment, guilt, and even a little hunger. After a while, I feel horrible for what I have said. It takes a really long time, though.
This is how I have been feeling for the past hour, and poor Thomas has had to deal with it.
PHYSICALLY
My eyes feel wide. It's like I'm looking around, seeing everything. Multiple colors, sounds, smells, tastes, everything. I'm drinking it in, yet it's not sticking. I speak without thinking, no matter how mean it sounds. I feel no emotion when I see how it has effected the person I am talking to - be it a good feeling or a horrible feeling they have.
My mind feels huge, yet nothing is staying in one place in there. I feel a little twitchy, and I stumble a bit. I feel surprised when I see something in my way, like I wasn't even noticing the big shelf there. I talk a little slowly. Maybe stuttering? It's kind of like I'm here, but not. I was hungry, but I could sit and stare at the wall for a long time, and not eat. I notice the slight breeze, but it feels like something new and foreign on my skin.
(I've done that before, when I didn't have any responsibilities for the day or night this has happened)
EMOTIONALLY
I feel nothing. I say things, and feel nothing when they are being said. I want to be alone, I am alone, just with people around me. Like an invisible shield. They mean nothing to me, nothing to anyone, they just are there, with no purpose.
I feel something 'clawing', something like embarrassment, guilt, and even a little hunger. After a while, I feel horrible for what I have said. It takes a really long time, though.