A fresh new start; social life woes
My wishes have come true at last.
I graduated from gymnasium in June of 2006, and ever since then my social life has been...close to non-existant. This is partly due to the fact I'd been taking a gap year (and a half) to do things and experience things I couldn't while in High School. My gymasnium experience was far from good. Anyways, leave it for Zak, my best friend, and perhaps three others, the rest of my friends moved back to their home countries as I went to an international school, where most of my friends' parents worked as ambassadors or diplomats.
So once I left high school, there wasn't really a genuine opportunity to meet new people unless I was at clubs or parties. And in Denmark, meeting new people is not an easy task, especially if you haven't gone through Danish schooling your whole life. You're pretty much on you're own. Most Danes will not go our of their way to befriend you, trust me...experienced it several times. I had the choice of relying on the gay community here, but I have had a boyfriend this whole time, and one can't make friends with a gay person until after they've had sex (sad but true).
I had several jobs and participated in several recreational activities, but it seemed still so hard to meet anyone, well at least get to know anyone. By last December I began to get really depressed about it. The friends whom I'd been surrounded by since graduation - well, don't get me wrong, I love them to death - but they can be just so judgemental and narrow-minded. They're all gorgeous, smart, fashionable...but to a point that's at times nauseating. They're the ones always getting the VIP passes at clubs, the ones who get invited to the top parties. When it's all said and done, however, I don't give a fuck about any of that. At the end of the day personaltiy matters to me in friends...and loyalty. People who don't ditch you at the club for their socialite friends, people who call you at least four times a week to see how you're doing. People who actually listen. People who despite loving fashion and teh hotness, don't judge by it. The only person I could get any of that from was Zak, who has been my best gay friend since I was 16 here in Denmark.
I'd been wanting friends of substance...and sure, there were many aquaintances in my life, plenty that could've possibly made decent friends for me...yet they didn't offer anything special. It seemed like they could never let loose and open up; they were too shy. And being reserved is tedious and something I don't bother myself with. I love people that are invigorating, exuberant, who love life - who make me push boundaries.
I had all that when I lived in America. I'd never had problems with making friends there. An extremely social person I've always been, so coming to Denmark was difficult. I often felt like a loser, and I just couldn't understand why people didn't want to invest in a friendship with me.
Anyways, last christmas vacation was spent at my parents' house in San Diego. Anders, my boyfriend, and my best friend, Zak, came along for the month I was there. I began to realize how much I missed the States...how much I missed expressing myself in my native language, the simple, friendly mannerisms people have with eachother, the openness in meeting people. I missed a lot. I confess, I almost got tempted to stay. I got to see all of my old best friends, those who truly have always understood who I am as a person.
That said, towards the end of christmas vacation I was beginning to dread coming back to Denmark. I didn't feel like relying on my little group of friends. I saw how much I missed my friends back home, and perhaps, how American I really was in my personality (in terms of being social).
There was one little glimmer of hope, however. And that was the fact I'd been accepted into the Uni of my choice, and I'd be starting in late January. I was hoping so much to meet new people.
And the point of this entry? I have. No more little snobby group.
My social life is exploding...even Danes who I've only scarcely met are eager to meet and get to know me, especially after the rustur (a trip every new class at a Danish Uni takes to get wasted, sleep with eachother, and get to know eacehother). It's so strange having people finally wanting to get to know me, and who think I'm fun and good to have around. And then there's some of the others in my class who are the international students. Antoine, Niels, Nadya...they're fucking amazing so far and I feel so relieved. For example we've partied so much but we actually have fun. It's not all about posing for pictures and looking tha glam. It's fucking legitimate...and god am I so much happier with life.
Everything about my life has gotten better. My relationship with Anders, my studies (for the first time in my life I'm actually interested in what I'm studying!) my acceptance of my parents' divorce, my social life...I feel like I'm in some sort of renainssance.
It just shows how time changes everything...and patience. Finally , I feel like I have total security in my life.
I graduated from gymnasium in June of 2006, and ever since then my social life has been...close to non-existant. This is partly due to the fact I'd been taking a gap year (and a half) to do things and experience things I couldn't while in High School. My gymasnium experience was far from good. Anyways, leave it for Zak, my best friend, and perhaps three others, the rest of my friends moved back to their home countries as I went to an international school, where most of my friends' parents worked as ambassadors or diplomats.
So once I left high school, there wasn't really a genuine opportunity to meet new people unless I was at clubs or parties. And in Denmark, meeting new people is not an easy task, especially if you haven't gone through Danish schooling your whole life. You're pretty much on you're own. Most Danes will not go our of their way to befriend you, trust me...experienced it several times. I had the choice of relying on the gay community here, but I have had a boyfriend this whole time, and one can't make friends with a gay person until after they've had sex (sad but true).
I had several jobs and participated in several recreational activities, but it seemed still so hard to meet anyone, well at least get to know anyone. By last December I began to get really depressed about it. The friends whom I'd been surrounded by since graduation - well, don't get me wrong, I love them to death - but they can be just so judgemental and narrow-minded. They're all gorgeous, smart, fashionable...but to a point that's at times nauseating. They're the ones always getting the VIP passes at clubs, the ones who get invited to the top parties. When it's all said and done, however, I don't give a fuck about any of that. At the end of the day personaltiy matters to me in friends...and loyalty. People who don't ditch you at the club for their socialite friends, people who call you at least four times a week to see how you're doing. People who actually listen. People who despite loving fashion and teh hotness, don't judge by it. The only person I could get any of that from was Zak, who has been my best gay friend since I was 16 here in Denmark.
I'd been wanting friends of substance...and sure, there were many aquaintances in my life, plenty that could've possibly made decent friends for me...yet they didn't offer anything special. It seemed like they could never let loose and open up; they were too shy. And being reserved is tedious and something I don't bother myself with. I love people that are invigorating, exuberant, who love life - who make me push boundaries.
I had all that when I lived in America. I'd never had problems with making friends there. An extremely social person I've always been, so coming to Denmark was difficult. I often felt like a loser, and I just couldn't understand why people didn't want to invest in a friendship with me.
Anyways, last christmas vacation was spent at my parents' house in San Diego. Anders, my boyfriend, and my best friend, Zak, came along for the month I was there. I began to realize how much I missed the States...how much I missed expressing myself in my native language, the simple, friendly mannerisms people have with eachother, the openness in meeting people. I missed a lot. I confess, I almost got tempted to stay. I got to see all of my old best friends, those who truly have always understood who I am as a person.
That said, towards the end of christmas vacation I was beginning to dread coming back to Denmark. I didn't feel like relying on my little group of friends. I saw how much I missed my friends back home, and perhaps, how American I really was in my personality (in terms of being social).
There was one little glimmer of hope, however. And that was the fact I'd been accepted into the Uni of my choice, and I'd be starting in late January. I was hoping so much to meet new people.
And the point of this entry? I have. No more little snobby group.
My social life is exploding...even Danes who I've only scarcely met are eager to meet and get to know me, especially after the rustur (a trip every new class at a Danish Uni takes to get wasted, sleep with eachother, and get to know eacehother). It's so strange having people finally wanting to get to know me, and who think I'm fun and good to have around. And then there's some of the others in my class who are the international students. Antoine, Niels, Nadya...they're fucking amazing so far and I feel so relieved. For example we've partied so much but we actually have fun. It's not all about posing for pictures and looking tha glam. It's fucking legitimate...and god am I so much happier with life.
Everything about my life has gotten better. My relationship with Anders, my studies (for the first time in my life I'm actually interested in what I'm studying!) my acceptance of my parents' divorce, my social life...I feel like I'm in some sort of renainssance.
It just shows how time changes everything...and patience. Finally , I feel like I have total security in my life.