Fallout

[lights_midnight]

The door hisses shut as Winter leaves, and it's John and Apollo.

This is both a good and a bad thing. It's bad, because now Apollo has to do the explaining on his own. And he's not sure what he can say without breaching the trust Nikolas gave him.He looks up at John and touches a finger to his lips. Probably needs to hear a lot of things that he

Comments

[clericpreston]

"Errol probably said it because it was a good ego boost for him. Since he trained me and all." John chuckled and held Apollo closer. "I don't know what Angie and Jenny's excuses are. But, you're welcome to watch any time you like."

[lights_midnight]

"Thank you. I'm never sure what's being invasive and what isn't."

He snuggles until he's comfortable, listening to John's heartbeat.

"I'm glad you came home when you did. I was about a minute away from asking Carrier to page you."

[clericpreston]

"There isn't any part of my life you're not welcome in. I always want you with me." He continued rubbing soothing circles against Apollo's back and stroking his hair gently.

"You can always call me home when you need me. There isn't anything more important to me than you and my family."

[lights_midnight]

"I just really wanted you there to hold. Nikolas might stop me from exploding when I get upset, but... He's not you. I'll call you next time. Promise."

He makes a note to bring up the Authority's info on Bendix when he gets up. Leave it for John. See if it helps explain anything.

[clericpreston]

John trailed the fingers of one hand through Apollo's hair and was silent for a beat before he answered. "Thank you."

It had bothered him more than he wanted to think about that he'd found Apollo looking for comfort from someone else.

[lights_midnight]

"I feel stupid getting upset like this over it. I shouldn't be. But I am." He looked up with a small frown. "Why did you pause?"

[clericpreston]

"You have every right to be upset. No one could fault you for that. You shouldn't either." John hugged him again and tipped his head down to kiss him softly.

"Thoughtful pause. Brain and mouth can't work at the same time," he teased as he rested his cheek on the top of Apollo's head.

[lights_midnight]

Soft kisses are all right, but Apollo knows he's being distracted and fobbed off, so when he draws away from the kiss he's still looking concerned.

"That's not an answer."

[clericpreston]

John sighed softly and brushed his fingertips lightly down the side of Apollo's face.

"You've been through a lot today. I'm not going to lie to you and say that nothing is bothering me, but it's not something that needs to be discussed right now."

"Let's just let it go until you're feeling better. I want to take care of you."

[lights_midnight]

"I don't know when I'll be feeling better. And then something else will happen. And now I'm worrying about it. Worrying like you're just putting up with me wanting to hang onto you and you'd sooner not have to put up with my weird, programmed dependancies."

He turns into the small caress on his cheek, eyes closing.

[clericpreston]

"That's not it at all. Almost the direct opposite, even." John sighed and pulled him close again, holding him tightly to him. "What's bothering me has nothing to do with anything you've told me today. It's something I've been worrying about for a little while now."

"I promised you that nothing you told me today would change us, didn't I? Doubt anything else you want about me, but I never lie to you."

[lights_midnight]

"I don't think you're lying. You wouldn't lie to me. I just don't know if what you consciously want from me is compatible with who you were before me. What we want and need isn't always the same and... I dunno. Rambling."

Apollo goes quiet.

"I did something, didn't I?"

[clericpreston]

"All I want from you is for us to be together. It's what I want and what I need. I need you."

He squeezed Apollo tightly and rested his cheek against the top of his head. Let his eyes fall shut.

"You haven't done anything wrong," he sighed softly. "I think I have. But, I don't know what, or when, or how."

[lights_midnight]

"You haven't done anything wrong. I promise. Not to my eyes."

He didn't close his eyes, just snuggled in and watched the wall.

"Like always, I just want to see you happy. Preferably with me and our girls, but I'm not making that a condition for you to be happy, only you can."

[clericpreston]

"It isn't your eyes I'm worried about." He sighed again.

"I have been happy. Being here with you, and Jenny, and Lisa has been the happiest months of my life. I hadn't ever been so completely happy like it before."

"I don't want it to change."

[lights_midnight]

"Good. At least we both agree with the not changing. I don't want anything to change either. I like you here. I like you and Lisa here with me and Jenny and Sam."