(no subject)
I'm still trying to write. I'm hoping that if I start typing, something will come to me. I got home today and had a whole bunch of topics as starting points, but I was tired and didn't want to think, and somewhere along the line I lost them. Blah.
On occassion... okay, fairly often, someone will call me weird. Honestly, I'm not really sure why people find me weird. Perhaps I just see the world from a different place than the majority of people, and that makes me slightly more difficult to understand, a bit more confusing. I'm pretty sure weird is not really the word that they're looking for anyway. I think what they're trying to say is that I'm atypical, which I freely admit. The difference is one of bias. For one thing, weird definitely has a negative connotation... so maybe they do mean weird after all, or at least some of them. I think there's a more subtle difference in the matter of scope. Atypical, odd, not normal... all of those imply that while I may not be entirely like other people, in mindset and personality, I'm still people. If humanity is a bell curve, then while I might not be within one standard deviation (68%) or even two (95%), and certainly on the chart. Weird, on the other hand, puts me outside that circle, so that I'm not even on the chart. I certainly don't expect people to dwell on the subtlety of words as much as I have, so I generally make the assumption that they don't mean the negative connotation of weird.
On the subject, one of the people in my lab, Miao, said to me that I was weird. Fair enough. She also said that I wasn't a typical American. I don't think I've been paid a higher compliment in my life. I'm not just talking about the political climate, and how messed up things, and people, are. In fact, at least politically, I think I'm in a pretty big majority as of this point in time. In fact, I think what makes me more proud of the comment is the cultural differences, that I don't really think about having, nor have for the express purpose of being different, but have all the same. I guess I'm just glad that someone from another country can come here and meet me and realize that not all of us are total ass-blasting shit-weasels.
I've come to a realization today that kind of startled me. I actually don't want any sort of relationship right now. Sure, I'll eye the women, especially the hotties, but right now I think the illusion of an idealized woman is all I can really deal with at my current state. The rest of my life is in a fair degree of turmoil, which is not necessarily a bad thing, mind you. I just have financial issues, and housing issues, and travelling all over, and school starting on top of reasearch, and trying to get stuff in order, and so on. It's a lot on my plate, and I need to get acclimated to all of the changes before I can really even think about adding in more drama and issues.
Anyway, this hasn't really done anything to really give me the creative spark I want. Blarg.
On occassion... okay, fairly often, someone will call me weird. Honestly, I'm not really sure why people find me weird. Perhaps I just see the world from a different place than the majority of people, and that makes me slightly more difficult to understand, a bit more confusing. I'm pretty sure weird is not really the word that they're looking for anyway. I think what they're trying to say is that I'm atypical, which I freely admit. The difference is one of bias. For one thing, weird definitely has a negative connotation... so maybe they do mean weird after all, or at least some of them. I think there's a more subtle difference in the matter of scope. Atypical, odd, not normal... all of those imply that while I may not be entirely like other people, in mindset and personality, I'm still people. If humanity is a bell curve, then while I might not be within one standard deviation (68%) or even two (95%), and certainly on the chart. Weird, on the other hand, puts me outside that circle, so that I'm not even on the chart. I certainly don't expect people to dwell on the subtlety of words as much as I have, so I generally make the assumption that they don't mean the negative connotation of weird.
On the subject, one of the people in my lab, Miao, said to me that I was weird. Fair enough. She also said that I wasn't a typical American. I don't think I've been paid a higher compliment in my life. I'm not just talking about the political climate, and how messed up things, and people, are. In fact, at least politically, I think I'm in a pretty big majority as of this point in time. In fact, I think what makes me more proud of the comment is the cultural differences, that I don't really think about having, nor have for the express purpose of being different, but have all the same. I guess I'm just glad that someone from another country can come here and meet me and realize that not all of us are total ass-blasting shit-weasels.
I've come to a realization today that kind of startled me. I actually don't want any sort of relationship right now. Sure, I'll eye the women, especially the hotties, but right now I think the illusion of an idealized woman is all I can really deal with at my current state. The rest of my life is in a fair degree of turmoil, which is not necessarily a bad thing, mind you. I just have financial issues, and housing issues, and travelling all over, and school starting on top of reasearch, and trying to get stuff in order, and so on. It's a lot on my plate, and I need to get acclimated to all of the changes before I can really even think about adding in more drama and issues.
Anyway, this hasn't really done anything to really give me the creative spark I want. Blarg.