Tryin' to play by the rules is rough, 'coz sooner or later something's gonna erupt.
Crazy Shameful Bitch
So last week, I might have been a wee bit of a spoiled brat at my workout, with the consequence that my trainer (normally a pretty easy-going guy) cancelled me as a client. I had come to the conclusion (before cancellation) that I hate the gym. The sets, the reps, the nasty smell of iron on my hands, the squats and box-jumps… BLECH. Pass. It works for some people, and that’s great. I hate it. I was hoping we could find another way to work me (I don’t just work out on my own, that’s why I take classes), but apparently he’d rather just cut his losses. The day after the drama-llama rode itself into town, this article was posted by a friend (on FB, I think?) and it definitely explains why I feel the way that I do, and now I don’t feel so bad. Dancing, whether I’m any good at it or not, definitely satisfies me in a way that the gym never has in the 10 years I’ve been trying to enjoy going on and off. I’m done trying to make myself be something that I’m not - in other words, a gym rat.
I wish they would bring back Zumba to the office - I hate squats in a workout, but when they were part of the dance routine it didn’t bother me at all. It didn’t feel like a “workout,” and I’d even say I enjoyed it (I lost 2 lbs/week!). I am considering trying to find a Zumba class in West Seattle (the girl they hired here has a class on Alki, I think I remember her saying back in December), but honestly, I have so few weeknights free I don’t want to give up any more. It was so convenient here at work, but alas, budget tightening eliminated that for me.
Don’t know what else I’m going to do for a really good cardio workout that doesn’t cost a ton or require additional time from my schedule. I’ve got my 5K this weekend (I had signed up for this, thinking that having a goal to work towards in my workout sessions would help me to feel accomplishment, but it didn’t. Not looking forward to the race like I thought/hoped I would be at this point). Aerial, belly and fire dancing are on 3 different days (all of which I enjoy), plus WW, and I need to start leaving some nights open for Passion Parties, plus my summer calendar is filling up into AUGUST. Then there’s the SAI meetings twice a month (executive board and general alumnae). And I have a boyfriend. So, we’re talking 3 nights/week for dancing, 1-2 meetings/week for WW and SAI, and Passion, time for boyfriend and friends, trips, etc. With a 40-hour/week job that is chock-a-block full of stress and anxiety and irritation.
It is possibly no wonder that I snapped at my workout. I suspect my crazy schedule is actually driving ME crazy. I also suspect that using my lunch break on Wednesdays for my workout was a bad idea - it was from 3-4 (the time that worked for my workout buddy and the trainer’s schedule), and so I went from 7:30am-3pm with no real break, then spent an hour doing stuff that was not relaxing for me (I usually read/nap on my lunch breaks to get the hell away from everyone). Once a week doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it only takes that one extra straw to break the camel’s back, you know? I’m not trying to make excuses for my behavior, which really was wretched and I feel quite badly about it still (I also think I need to just LET IT GO, what’s done is done. Learn from it, and move my ass onwards!), but there WERE contributing factors.
I don’t normally just fly off the handle (I hope). I know I can be super-bitchy (I’m not very often, but when I do, it’s like a fucking volcano of bitch-lava AND IT IS AFTER YOU), but believe it or not, for those who’ve been on the receiving end, I don’t mean to be and I usually feel terrible afterwards. I feel like I swing wildly from doormat to bitch - 90% doormat, 15% bitch (yes, that's 105% I GIVE IT MY ALL AND THEN SOME!). Others would probably disagree with that ratio... I tend to go with whatever the group/other person wants to do because I’m afraid that if I assert myself I will be perceived as a rigid bitch. And then when I finally DO assert all of that pent-up feeling of what *I* want to do… it backfires.
Anyway. Musings over, moving on to the rest of this post. Tis a long-ish one, but I might put the book reviews in a separate post.
I Can Has Random?
We has some Fun Times at work last Friday, playing around with Numerology.
I'm a Life Path 3, for the record. Shawn is, if I remember correctly, a 1. 3 and 8 are the numbers that crop up most often in my life (it says my lucky number is 8, although I’ve felt it to be 3).
Interesting coincidence? The moon at my birth was a waning half-moon. Shawn’s was a waxing half-moon. Together, we make a full moon! Astrologists, is this significant?
This weekend I totally missed the Low Tide at Alki. Next month is the lowest tide of the year, but it’s on a workday… maybe I’ll head down right after work and see if I can catch it before the tide rolls in that evening… :)
I found an old email draft with this link to an article about a really fantastic local photographer who is only 15 years old but sooo talented! That link probably came from Wesa… Anyway, I think that for $40 I would consider buying one of her pieces. I think “Dreamcatcher” is one of my favorite pieces, but you can see all of them on Flickr. It almost reminds me of some of the stuff that I saw at the Saatchi Gallery in London - I wouldn’t be surprised to see her there someday!
There’s a cool building going up in West Seattle that is going for LEED Gold status (this is the 2nd highest rank - Platinum, Gold, Silver and Certified). Looks like a snazzy building! In reading the article, I bet that one of the things that held them back from Platinum status are the triple-pane windows that came from Colorado - you can get more points for stuff that is from within 500 miles of the site to eliminate transportion costs/pollution/etc.
Scheduling In the Insanity
So, for the year, I have 13 days of vacation left (assuming no sick days, as I can use PTO for vacation too) - planning on spending 5 of them in Chicago (with weekend, it will be Wednesday-Tuesday, end of July/beginning of August). I still need to get plane tickets, arrange for the hotel (that I will be sharing with 1-2 random strangers…) and meet up with my cousins in the area that have never met each other (different sides of the family).
People that have been to Chi-caaaah-go - What is there to do in Chicago given about a day’s worth of time? Inquiring minds want to know. I’m actually going to be in Lincolnshire, but hey, there’s taxis!
My other 8 days have yet to be determined. I usually save some for the winter holidays, and Shawn and I are planning on going to Silverwood Theme Park (in Idaho) at some point this summer. YAY ROLLER COASTERS! I’m such a child. So possibly 1-2 days for that one. That leaves about 6 days left for the days around Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.
Next year I want to attend the Passions Convention in Vegas (electriclime + me + Vegas + sex toys = HOLY HELLFIRE YES PLEASE!) in Feb/March. I also get 3 weeks of vacation (up from 2), and I want to spend a week doing volunteer work in another country - I posted about this a while back. I’d love to take Shawn over to Spain to see the family over there, too. He thought they were hilarious (my ex-sister-in-law’s boyfriend was giving him tips on how to hide a boner at the topless/nude beaches!).
My Summer Schedule is filling up fast - in fact, I’ve double-booked myself the day of the Solstice Parade (seriously, you can never see too many naked people on bikes!) with my matinee ticket to see RENT!. Other events include the following, in roughly chronological order:
Movies on the Wall! Various places, various movies.
A Hotluck/Potluck with wesa
A quick trip to Wenatchee for a wedding reception for austindesigns, who just got hitched on his Alaskan cruise last weekend! CONGRATS!!! Wish I could have been there! Shawn gets a golf game out of this too, if he goes.
4th of July - possible in La Conner with electriclime!
Mediterranean Fantasy Festival - which I will be performing in with the Babylonian Ensemble student troupe. SHIMMY SHIMMY!
The Scottish Highland Games - want to go on Friday night to see Ockham’s Razor perform, whom I have not seen yet but have heard good things about for like 4 years!
Shakespeare in the Park - the Camp Long show
SAI National Convention in Chicago, as noted above. As Chapter President, I am the voting delegate. Yeeps.
Renaissance Faire, having moved from Gig Harbor to the Sumner/Buckley area.
Performing fire again with the Cabiri at the Arts & Nature Festival at Camp Long. I’M ON FIYAH. <= that never gets old to me :D
If you want to do something with me, schedule a Passion Party (there are VERY COOL new summer products coming out, like a starfish and lots of dolphins and all waterproof!), etc. LET ME KNOW ASAP. I am fuck-all for any scheduling at this point that is not like 4-6 weeks out!
So last week, I might have been a wee bit of a spoiled brat at my workout, with the consequence that my trainer (normally a pretty easy-going guy) cancelled me as a client. I had come to the conclusion (before cancellation) that I hate the gym. The sets, the reps, the nasty smell of iron on my hands, the squats and box-jumps… BLECH. Pass. It works for some people, and that’s great. I hate it. I was hoping we could find another way to work me (I don’t just work out on my own, that’s why I take classes), but apparently he’d rather just cut his losses. The day after the drama-llama rode itself into town, this article was posted by a friend (on FB, I think?) and it definitely explains why I feel the way that I do, and now I don’t feel so bad. Dancing, whether I’m any good at it or not, definitely satisfies me in a way that the gym never has in the 10 years I’ve been trying to enjoy going on and off. I’m done trying to make myself be something that I’m not - in other words, a gym rat.
I wish they would bring back Zumba to the office - I hate squats in a workout, but when they were part of the dance routine it didn’t bother me at all. It didn’t feel like a “workout,” and I’d even say I enjoyed it (I lost 2 lbs/week!). I am considering trying to find a Zumba class in West Seattle (the girl they hired here has a class on Alki, I think I remember her saying back in December), but honestly, I have so few weeknights free I don’t want to give up any more. It was so convenient here at work, but alas, budget tightening eliminated that for me.
Don’t know what else I’m going to do for a really good cardio workout that doesn’t cost a ton or require additional time from my schedule. I’ve got my 5K this weekend (I had signed up for this, thinking that having a goal to work towards in my workout sessions would help me to feel accomplishment, but it didn’t. Not looking forward to the race like I thought/hoped I would be at this point). Aerial, belly and fire dancing are on 3 different days (all of which I enjoy), plus WW, and I need to start leaving some nights open for Passion Parties, plus my summer calendar is filling up into AUGUST. Then there’s the SAI meetings twice a month (executive board and general alumnae). And I have a boyfriend. So, we’re talking 3 nights/week for dancing, 1-2 meetings/week for WW and SAI, and Passion, time for boyfriend and friends, trips, etc. With a 40-hour/week job that is chock-a-block full of stress and anxiety and irritation.
It is possibly no wonder that I snapped at my workout. I suspect my crazy schedule is actually driving ME crazy. I also suspect that using my lunch break on Wednesdays for my workout was a bad idea - it was from 3-4 (the time that worked for my workout buddy and the trainer’s schedule), and so I went from 7:30am-3pm with no real break, then spent an hour doing stuff that was not relaxing for me (I usually read/nap on my lunch breaks to get the hell away from everyone). Once a week doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it only takes that one extra straw to break the camel’s back, you know? I’m not trying to make excuses for my behavior, which really was wretched and I feel quite badly about it still (I also think I need to just LET IT GO, what’s done is done. Learn from it, and move my ass onwards!), but there WERE contributing factors.
I don’t normally just fly off the handle (I hope). I know I can be super-bitchy (I’m not very often, but when I do, it’s like a fucking volcano of bitch-lava AND IT IS AFTER YOU), but believe it or not, for those who’ve been on the receiving end, I don’t mean to be and I usually feel terrible afterwards. I feel like I swing wildly from doormat to bitch - 90% doormat, 15% bitch (yes, that's 105% I GIVE IT MY ALL AND THEN SOME!). Others would probably disagree with that ratio... I tend to go with whatever the group/other person wants to do because I’m afraid that if I assert myself I will be perceived as a rigid bitch. And then when I finally DO assert all of that pent-up feeling of what *I* want to do… it backfires.
Anyway. Musings over, moving on to the rest of this post. Tis a long-ish one, but I might put the book reviews in a separate post.
I Can Has Random?
We has some Fun Times at work last Friday, playing around with Numerology.
I'm a Life Path 3, for the record. Shawn is, if I remember correctly, a 1. 3 and 8 are the numbers that crop up most often in my life (it says my lucky number is 8, although I’ve felt it to be 3).
Interesting coincidence? The moon at my birth was a waning half-moon. Shawn’s was a waxing half-moon. Together, we make a full moon! Astrologists, is this significant?
This weekend I totally missed the Low Tide at Alki. Next month is the lowest tide of the year, but it’s on a workday… maybe I’ll head down right after work and see if I can catch it before the tide rolls in that evening… :)
I found an old email draft with this link to an article about a really fantastic local photographer who is only 15 years old but sooo talented! That link probably came from Wesa… Anyway, I think that for $40 I would consider buying one of her pieces. I think “Dreamcatcher” is one of my favorite pieces, but you can see all of them on Flickr. It almost reminds me of some of the stuff that I saw at the Saatchi Gallery in London - I wouldn’t be surprised to see her there someday!
There’s a cool building going up in West Seattle that is going for LEED Gold status (this is the 2nd highest rank - Platinum, Gold, Silver and Certified). Looks like a snazzy building! In reading the article, I bet that one of the things that held them back from Platinum status are the triple-pane windows that came from Colorado - you can get more points for stuff that is from within 500 miles of the site to eliminate transportion costs/pollution/etc.
Scheduling In the Insanity
So, for the year, I have 13 days of vacation left (assuming no sick days, as I can use PTO for vacation too) - planning on spending 5 of them in Chicago (with weekend, it will be Wednesday-Tuesday, end of July/beginning of August). I still need to get plane tickets, arrange for the hotel (that I will be sharing with 1-2 random strangers…) and meet up with my cousins in the area that have never met each other (different sides of the family).
People that have been to Chi-caaaah-go - What is there to do in Chicago given about a day’s worth of time? Inquiring minds want to know. I’m actually going to be in Lincolnshire, but hey, there’s taxis!
My other 8 days have yet to be determined. I usually save some for the winter holidays, and Shawn and I are planning on going to Silverwood Theme Park (in Idaho) at some point this summer. YAY ROLLER COASTERS! I’m such a child. So possibly 1-2 days for that one. That leaves about 6 days left for the days around Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.
Next year I want to attend the Passions Convention in Vegas (electriclime + me + Vegas + sex toys = HOLY HELLFIRE YES PLEASE!) in Feb/March. I also get 3 weeks of vacation (up from 2), and I want to spend a week doing volunteer work in another country - I posted about this a while back. I’d love to take Shawn over to Spain to see the family over there, too. He thought they were hilarious (my ex-sister-in-law’s boyfriend was giving him tips on how to hide a boner at the topless/nude beaches!).
My Summer Schedule is filling up fast - in fact, I’ve double-booked myself the day of the Solstice Parade (seriously, you can never see too many naked people on bikes!) with my matinee ticket to see RENT!. Other events include the following, in roughly chronological order:
Movies on the Wall! Various places, various movies.
A Hotluck/Potluck with wesa
A quick trip to Wenatchee for a wedding reception for austindesigns, who just got hitched on his Alaskan cruise last weekend! CONGRATS!!! Wish I could have been there! Shawn gets a golf game out of this too, if he goes.
4th of July - possible in La Conner with electriclime!
Mediterranean Fantasy Festival - which I will be performing in with the Babylonian Ensemble student troupe. SHIMMY SHIMMY!
The Scottish Highland Games - want to go on Friday night to see Ockham’s Razor perform, whom I have not seen yet but have heard good things about for like 4 years!
Shakespeare in the Park - the Camp Long show
SAI National Convention in Chicago, as noted above. As Chapter President, I am the voting delegate. Yeeps.
Renaissance Faire, having moved from Gig Harbor to the Sumner/Buckley area.
Performing fire again with the Cabiri at the Arts & Nature Festival at Camp Long. I’M ON FIYAH. <= that never gets old to me :D
If you want to do something with me, schedule a Passion Party (there are VERY COOL new summer products coming out, like a starfish and lots of dolphins and all waterproof!), etc. LET ME KNOW ASAP. I am fuck-all for any scheduling at this point that is not like 4-6 weeks out!