Tell me all your thoughts on God, cause I'd really love to meet her.
Another weekend in Wenatchee, filled with booze, family, and drama. Par for the course!
It was lovely to see my cousins, and their kids again. It has been at least 5 years since we saw each other last. They're very nice, and the their kids are cute.
Turns out my sister is a total bitch, however, who hates my guts and cannot even bear the sight of me - literally. I said something last summer, inadvertently offending her, and she hasn't forgiven me for it. I've apologized, tried to make amends, made overtures of friendly sisterhood, and she literally threw it all back in my face. It's pretty sad when even the little Vietnamese people doing your pedicures notice the tension. I believe their exact words were "why she not talking? you the funny one, what you do to her this morning?"
I understand that she's hurt, and that forgiveness takes time. But OH MY GOD, lady - you've said some pretty nasty things to me in your day, if we're going to haul past offenses. I've not forgotten those, even if you have. Some really choice, snide comments about my friends, the guys I'm dating, my taste in clothes, my hairstyle, my weight, etc. A constant stream of telling me that who I am wasn't good enough. If we're going really far back, she also used to write in my diary, which means she read it on a regular basis. That was the moment when I felt violated, and stopped writing in it. If my private thoughts are going to be read, I might as well put them out for the whole internet to read yes?
And let's look at something else here: I said this comment last summer, beginning of July. I'd been living in Seattle, while she was in Portland, for over 6 months at that time - and she had never visited, never accepted an invitation to stay at my place, and never shown any interest in seeing me when she's up here. She's not at all interested in who I'm dating (or why I'm NOT dating), my job, my life. She never saw me at college, or attended my graduation. She hasn't specifically invited me down to her home in years (other than the obligatory "oh, well, I guess Thanksgiving is at our house again this year" call). So when she stopped communicating, it was a little hard to tell what was the reason - personally, I think it's an excuse.
So exactly how am I supposed to "reconcile" with her over this comment? Her condenscending bitchy attitude and utter lack of interest in me as either a person or a sister predates my hurtful comment. If she wasn't all that interested in being part of my life before(she says she was, that she "told me everything," which I find doubtful. If she had, then I would have had some context for the situation that led to me making the comment that I did, and I probably wouldn't have), then she certainly has no reason to be now.
She also has an incredible history of holding grudges. She refused to have anything to do with our brother (her full biological brother, my youngest half-brother) for YEARS. I don't know the full story there, but for some reason she hated his guts, too. Wouldn't talk to him, send Christmas presents, visit/have him visit (he lives near their dad, back in Ohio). It's like she'd rather just be angry all the time (and trust me, it shows) than deal with her issues already. Quite frankly, I've had it with her attitude - I've looked up to her all my life, as she's 11 years old than I am, but if she's not going to have me in her life for whatever reason, then so be it. I don't have time for her shit.
Anyway, must go pack some more now. Photo!Blog to come later, but I needs me some food. Here's some teasers from last Thursday:
We have some really gorgeous hydrangea bushes next to the main entry to my current apartment building. I want to get some pictures before I leave it for good in two weeks.
Same bunch, further back.
And some just beginning to blossom and turn color.
This is a gorgeous little amulet Gretchen picked up for me last week at the Oregon Country Fair, a bit of a hippie-fest with naked peoples, at which she and Eric did NOT get naked, but had a lovely time anyway. So here is my new little Mother Goddess figure.
And she's travel sized for my convenience!
Taking the train over to Wenatchee affords for some lovely views of the water. Normally it's gorgeous when it's sunny out, but Friday was rather gray, and you almost couldn't tell the difference between the water and the sky, a perfect black-pearl gray.
It was lovely to see my cousins, and their kids again. It has been at least 5 years since we saw each other last. They're very nice, and the their kids are cute.
Turns out my sister is a total bitch, however, who hates my guts and cannot even bear the sight of me - literally. I said something last summer, inadvertently offending her, and she hasn't forgiven me for it. I've apologized, tried to make amends, made overtures of friendly sisterhood, and she literally threw it all back in my face. It's pretty sad when even the little Vietnamese people doing your pedicures notice the tension. I believe their exact words were "why she not talking? you the funny one, what you do to her this morning?"
I understand that she's hurt, and that forgiveness takes time. But OH MY GOD, lady - you've said some pretty nasty things to me in your day, if we're going to haul past offenses. I've not forgotten those, even if you have. Some really choice, snide comments about my friends, the guys I'm dating, my taste in clothes, my hairstyle, my weight, etc. A constant stream of telling me that who I am wasn't good enough. If we're going really far back, she also used to write in my diary, which means she read it on a regular basis. That was the moment when I felt violated, and stopped writing in it. If my private thoughts are going to be read, I might as well put them out for the whole internet to read yes?
And let's look at something else here: I said this comment last summer, beginning of July. I'd been living in Seattle, while she was in Portland, for over 6 months at that time - and she had never visited, never accepted an invitation to stay at my place, and never shown any interest in seeing me when she's up here. She's not at all interested in who I'm dating (or why I'm NOT dating), my job, my life. She never saw me at college, or attended my graduation. She hasn't specifically invited me down to her home in years (other than the obligatory "oh, well, I guess Thanksgiving is at our house again this year" call). So when she stopped communicating, it was a little hard to tell what was the reason - personally, I think it's an excuse.
So exactly how am I supposed to "reconcile" with her over this comment? Her condenscending bitchy attitude and utter lack of interest in me as either a person or a sister predates my hurtful comment. If she wasn't all that interested in being part of my life before(she says she was, that she "told me everything," which I find doubtful. If she had, then I would have had some context for the situation that led to me making the comment that I did, and I probably wouldn't have), then she certainly has no reason to be now.
She also has an incredible history of holding grudges. She refused to have anything to do with our brother (her full biological brother, my youngest half-brother) for YEARS. I don't know the full story there, but for some reason she hated his guts, too. Wouldn't talk to him, send Christmas presents, visit/have him visit (he lives near their dad, back in Ohio). It's like she'd rather just be angry all the time (and trust me, it shows) than deal with her issues already. Quite frankly, I've had it with her attitude - I've looked up to her all my life, as she's 11 years old than I am, but if she's not going to have me in her life for whatever reason, then so be it. I don't have time for her shit.
Anyway, must go pack some more now. Photo!Blog to come later, but I needs me some food. Here's some teasers from last Thursday:
We have some really gorgeous hydrangea bushes next to the main entry to my current apartment building. I want to get some pictures before I leave it for good in two weeks.
Same bunch, further back.
And some just beginning to blossom and turn color.
This is a gorgeous little amulet Gretchen picked up for me last week at the Oregon Country Fair, a bit of a hippie-fest with naked peoples, at which she and Eric did NOT get naked, but had a lovely time anyway. So here is my new little Mother Goddess figure.
And she's travel sized for my convenience!
Taking the train over to Wenatchee affords for some lovely views of the water. Normally it's gorgeous when it's sunny out, but Friday was rather gray, and you almost couldn't tell the difference between the water and the sky, a perfect black-pearl gray.