Mar 12, 2004 18:21
I begin to wonder where I’ve been, where I’m going and how did I get here. It’s like one day everything was going perfect, I was full of fight…full of flight. Then suddenly I find my wings clipped, I find I’ve fallen and I’m left wondering why. Why travel all this way just to find I’ve actually not moved at all.
So it begs the question. What’s the life about? What’s the motivation? To be or not to be…either way, does it really matter? I could just sit here and rot, it doesn’t matter. I could make moves and be termed a ‘success’…yet I know it doesn't matter.
(stop : look : breathe : feel)
This new feeling is smooth, it’s untouched, unknown. People won’t be writing books about this one, its ever changing, it knows no box. Moves in all directions at once, backwards included! You can’t tame this thing, you can’t direct it, all you can do is just be it, move with it, become it. I used to jest about being a Chameleon, now it seems the Chameleon I have become. Changing colour, changing mood, changing direction as I see fit.
We’ve arrived at a new space, a dangerous place. You can stay here all your life if you wish. Make a choice, follow it through, become something you are not, something you never wished to be. Expand the dream, open new eyes…challenge everything, accept all in heart. Heal yourself from yourself.
Who I am today is not who I am tomorrow. Box me at your peril, follow me if your fool. Its so easy to be closed now, so easy to be cynical. I have to work to keep an open heart these days, its easy to believe in nothing, let the dis-ease take over and proclaim “that’s just the way it is…”. Been there, done that…as said, don’t follow the fool.
In times of need you’ll find me here, waiting, listening for your call. I understand, no words need making, no actions to describe…put simply…I understand. Lesson: 44 says, begin from the beginning, the journey never ends, let the heart be open, slowly I descend(?).