Fic: Still Not The One - I'm Crazy For Loving You
Title: Still Not The One - I'm Crazy For Loving You
Author: Kally
Genre: RPS, Angst
Rating: R for swearing
Sequel to:lighthousefae.livejournal.com/2782.html#cutid1
Series: The One
Characters: Jared, Jensen (duh), Genevieve Cortese, and Christian Kane
Disclaimer: Don't sue! The only thing you'll get out of me is a flood of tears and my brother's cat - and believe me, you will be begging me to take her back by the time that bitch is through with you.
Summary: Jensen's Heart: March 1, 1978 - February 27th, 2010.
I'm crazy for tryin' and crazy for cryin'
and I'm crazy for lovin' you.
He married her.
Everyone's right when they say it was a beautiful ceremony.
It just wasn't perfect, perfect would have meant I would be in Genevieve's place, and she would be standing calmly in a bridesmaid dress, wailing in agony on in the inside, with a smile plastered to her face.
Everyone knows why the wedding was so hasty, you didn't want to take the chance it'd be like Sandy all over again - she'd break up with you over the long distance thing or because "you were heading in different directions." Make it so that you can't let go, no matter how far away you are; or just make it that much harder.
Damn it, Jared, it wouldn't have been like that with us. It doesn't matter how far I am from you, or how many legal papers and laws or girls there are between us - I'd never let you go. I'm not afraid like Sandy, or desperate like Genevieve. You'd never have to fear me leaving you. Never.
You still don't.
I'm bone weary and my heart is bleeding out, and this is usually about the time I pull out Patsy Cline. Hey, you ain't got to be a Texan or even a budding musician (shut up, Kane) to appreciate her voice and her words.
If anyone knows how to belt out the sounds of heartbreak (without whining), well, Patsy's your girl.
Patsy's not playing now, she can't do shit for me.
Nope, right now I'm sitting here, crying on Chris' shoulder like I'm three instead of a grown man in his thirties. I've literally got my head buried in the crook of his neck, bawling, and he's letting me - not without ribbing me for being a girl, but he does, all the same.
He loves you too, ya know. It's hard not to, even when your Christian Kane. He knows too much what I'm going through. I never did tell you, he had it bad for you, especially after the pool party at Steve's, you wearing those ridiculously short trunks...but then with your legs I'm pretty sure they all look short on you.
He was flirting with you, and I can just imagine you shaking your head, but I know Chris when he's being seductive. I know Chris enough that he's never let friendship get in the way of a crush if he wants you bad enough. And trust me, he wanted you.
Know what the difference was this time?
He knew.
He looked at me looking at you, and he knew my heart wanted you more than his ever could. And I think that's the first and only time he's ever backed off.
And that's the only reason (besides having been my friend first) he even showed up - to make sure I didn't do anything stupid when the priest brings up that question, yeah, you know the one...I thought they didn't ask that anymore...anyway-
One look at his eyes full of the reluctant promise of violence and I kept my mouth shut. He wants you to be happy, and my ass out of the tabloids and possibly prison. Besides, I want to live to be there for you the moment you sign the divorce papers...it's the only thing that's keeping me going. It's all I got left. I don't care if it's just me lying to myself.
There's still a chance between us.
I love you, Jared Tristan Padalecki.
Love,
Jensen
The End.