(no subject)

[lightelation]

Lately it's been like a science experiment.. I realize my emotionality between periods is uncontrollable and cripplingly intense, but I've been trying to measure just how much it is really affecting me. With no other external factors - minimal friends, no love life, no change in work or school, it's just me and the heavy conciousness of my empty heart. I've dated, but who knows if I've loved, even once. I've realized the waves don't closely follow any patterns at all. There is no way to gain a false sense of security and mastery over myself.

I think if I were to die, I would walk into the sea, and go out as far as I could, until I ran out of everything I had, and just be embraced by the swells of darkness. To just be able to let go, and give that calm cool face of the river a kiss...

But if I did that, then how could I keep torturing myself? Who would be able to hold the weight of all this self-resentment? Ho ho ho..



dream

Dream, when youre feeling blue.
Dream, that's the thing to do.
Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air.
You'll find your share of memories there.

So dream, when the day is through.
Dream, and they might come true.
Things never are as bad as they seem.
So dream, dream dream...

Dream, when the day is through.
Dream, and they might come true.
Things never are as bad as they seem.
So dream, dream dream !