(no subject)
Moving again. in the past 15 months so many times. From Marlboro to Putney to So. main street to prospect street to chapin and now putney (for a week?) AND THEN Marlboro again cause dorms don't open up until my birthday. Ugg,
This is going to be a freaking awesome week. I'm just sad to miss Jess' baby's birth. I forgot that she's having the operation on tuesday, but I'll be away. With Jim. I don't really care what we do, I just can't wait to get the heck out of here. And we've been planning this for such a long time.
So, I just don't know what to do about my family. I'm barely floating. I've got loans and grants to help me but I still have to pay a bit for these next two semesters out of my own pocket. I think I'll make it but just BARELY with not a lot of money to cover anything extra (like when I run out of toothpaste, or tampons or watever, and forget about going out to eat) But I'm thankful. I'm going back to school and that's more than some people can do.
My dad is also struggling. his company didn't renew his contract so he's been jobless for eight months, he has a new baby to take care of, Nami has no money either and has been on maternity leave for eight months. Basically....things have been getting worse and I just didn't really have any idea until I found out that the power at the apartment was turned off because the bill wasn't paid. I have no idea the nightmare my dad must be going through to try to ballance new family, looking for a job, and finishing up the apartment so it can be rented (so that rent income can cover utilities of the place at least and cover morgage too). And pay for all the bills.
Part of me knows that he's struggling to keep up a lifestyle (keeping these two houses and the expenses that come with that teratory, like land tax) and I've been saying for years that it's really okay to sell SOMETHING, ANYTHING a car, property, or do WHATEVER to simplify the family's lifestyle, but no one seems to listen to me. This is part of what triggered the family blowout last year. I know how much my dad has put into building these things up for megan and me, but is it worth sacraficing his health and sanity? I don't think so. And it just makes me so heartbroken and stressed out.
It's just really stressful to have to worry about what I'm going through and to try and think of how I can make any difference or any help to my family also. I'm trying to go to school, I planned this very nice vacation coming up, but my mother wants me to...basically call it off, or cut short to help get the apartment fixed so that it can be rented.
I just don't know. Things have been very awkward with me and my family anyway. It's like walking on eggshells. I still cringe in their presence whenever I'm reminded of what went down last year.
I just don't know what to do. I'm going to try to go and help fix up the place on friday. It's like the ONLY day I have before I go away for Latino ladies Weekend (yeah!), Vacation with Jim and then off to school again.
Ahrgh.
I'm
So
Freaking
Stressed
This is going to be a freaking awesome week. I'm just sad to miss Jess' baby's birth. I forgot that she's having the operation on tuesday, but I'll be away. With Jim. I don't really care what we do, I just can't wait to get the heck out of here. And we've been planning this for such a long time.
So, I just don't know what to do about my family. I'm barely floating. I've got loans and grants to help me but I still have to pay a bit for these next two semesters out of my own pocket. I think I'll make it but just BARELY with not a lot of money to cover anything extra (like when I run out of toothpaste, or tampons or watever, and forget about going out to eat) But I'm thankful. I'm going back to school and that's more than some people can do.
My dad is also struggling. his company didn't renew his contract so he's been jobless for eight months, he has a new baby to take care of, Nami has no money either and has been on maternity leave for eight months. Basically....things have been getting worse and I just didn't really have any idea until I found out that the power at the apartment was turned off because the bill wasn't paid. I have no idea the nightmare my dad must be going through to try to ballance new family, looking for a job, and finishing up the apartment so it can be rented (so that rent income can cover utilities of the place at least and cover morgage too). And pay for all the bills.
Part of me knows that he's struggling to keep up a lifestyle (keeping these two houses and the expenses that come with that teratory, like land tax) and I've been saying for years that it's really okay to sell SOMETHING, ANYTHING a car, property, or do WHATEVER to simplify the family's lifestyle, but no one seems to listen to me. This is part of what triggered the family blowout last year. I know how much my dad has put into building these things up for megan and me, but is it worth sacraficing his health and sanity? I don't think so. And it just makes me so heartbroken and stressed out.
It's just really stressful to have to worry about what I'm going through and to try and think of how I can make any difference or any help to my family also. I'm trying to go to school, I planned this very nice vacation coming up, but my mother wants me to...basically call it off, or cut short to help get the apartment fixed so that it can be rented.
I just don't know. Things have been very awkward with me and my family anyway. It's like walking on eggshells. I still cringe in their presence whenever I'm reminded of what went down last year.
I just don't know what to do. I'm going to try to go and help fix up the place on friday. It's like the ONLY day I have before I go away for Latino ladies Weekend (yeah!), Vacation with Jim and then off to school again.
Ahrgh.
I'm
So
Freaking
Stressed