Job for life
I'm a bit confused. I'm at this time of my life when I have to decide what I want "to be"
What do I want to be? You live until you're eighty and you have to decide what to do with your life when you're eighteen. Or earlier. Earlier, in accordance with the UCAS forms.
Do I want to go to university? Do I want to go to art college? Which university? Which art college? I've never set foot in a university before. I'd have to travel for three hours to get somewhat near a university. Curse you, you little island on which I live. It's all so scary and vague. And still that question haunts me.
What do I want to be? What do I want to do? How can I do it? Where would I go to do it? What would I study? Would I pass? Would I be happy? Who would I meet? Then what?
Then another course finishes, another set of exam results and you ask those questions all over again.
We are trained to find our job for life but there are no jobs for life anymore. I want to be a person who no one really knows what I do to survive. I want to have one of those iffy existances. Freelance girl, to the rescue!
Sixth Form is limbo. I miss proper school but if you have to leave why not do it straight away, not be left with the sad remnants of what had been. I think my friend who buggered off with her part time job had the right idea. She's perfectly happy. Why must I insist on trying to live up to what people expect me to be? But then again I'm not searching for happiness, I want more than happiness. I think. Maybe that's the wrong way to put it.. I don't want more than happiness, I want something different.
This is ridiculous. This system is all wrong.
What do I want to be? You live until you're eighty and you have to decide what to do with your life when you're eighteen. Or earlier. Earlier, in accordance with the UCAS forms.
Do I want to go to university? Do I want to go to art college? Which university? Which art college? I've never set foot in a university before. I'd have to travel for three hours to get somewhat near a university. Curse you, you little island on which I live. It's all so scary and vague. And still that question haunts me.
What do I want to be? What do I want to do? How can I do it? Where would I go to do it? What would I study? Would I pass? Would I be happy? Who would I meet? Then what?
Then another course finishes, another set of exam results and you ask those questions all over again.
We are trained to find our job for life but there are no jobs for life anymore. I want to be a person who no one really knows what I do to survive. I want to have one of those iffy existances. Freelance girl, to the rescue!
Sixth Form is limbo. I miss proper school but if you have to leave why not do it straight away, not be left with the sad remnants of what had been. I think my friend who buggered off with her part time job had the right idea. She's perfectly happy. Why must I insist on trying to live up to what people expect me to be? But then again I'm not searching for happiness, I want more than happiness. I think. Maybe that's the wrong way to put it.. I don't want more than happiness, I want something different.
This is ridiculous. This system is all wrong.