(no subject)
i relaized today that the only good thing i can do for myself right now is work. work work work work work. but i just want a few days off. Amy had suggested us visiting to see HP. I like that Idea. it can wait. I'm kinda doing ok right now. my minutes are too fucking high. ill have a new phone soon I hope. maybe ill get rid of text since I cant use IM forward anyway. i use it for that most. new number and all.. maybe people will call more? that'd be nice. I'm even talking to my dad because i spend so much time...alone. work.. alone on truck days. noone talks to me. noone works with me. I spend 8 hours lugging boxes and people only talk to me when theyre being annoying and asking me to take out the fucking trash when I can barely see the back door past all the shit.
two of our carts of stuff fell on Younes and I yesterday. they were stacked badly. I went to see Jamie (store manager) about my badge and talked to Randy (manages all 3 stores.. boss of jamie) and he called M&M to chew them out for endangering his employees and damaged goods for sale. i felt special. he said to call him ANYtime somethings wrong with truck. and he complained about the normal drivers sub being late and such.. because a half hour late truck could cost us 4 hours of sale loss on an item.
then theres mom and dads. i sleep. watch tv. complain. eat. and use the computer / play guitar hero when noones home. noone is ever home.
my apt: havent been there for a week. Ben IMed me because he had noone to see fireworks with and told me to come home. im like... uhh... no car.
leo gets me out every so often. if anyones helped me most its him. absolutely. michael talks to me. Davida talks to me. alyssa.. it helps. im just lonely.
oh and im going crazy knowing how much bigger i'd be if i were pulling truck like i am..but on T. and how much easier my job would be then. grr. Back to the health center monday or tuesday. will get letter, fax to doctor. schedule an appt for asap and take that day off work. goal: T-asap.
dads... calmer around me. mom says he probably knows and is freaking out. And give him a little time before i let him talk. maybe thats aprt of why hes going so muts right now. he told everyone at work he's taking a month off.. going on sabbatical. im TERRIFIED he'll lose his job...
she says he hastn kicked me out yet..maybe itll be ok.
im gunna go nap pre-work. work 11p-3p tonight/tomorrow. i have 29.5 hours now so that'll give me.. 15.5 more. because ill take a half. 5 hours over time in 4 shifts.. yeah! woo me!
things i found:
"i dont like myself.. that doesnt affect how much I like you, at least not negatively. Maybe then i like you more? I know I love you at my best, and my worst. and I function best when I'm needed. Need me, and I'll be the healthiest person in the world. " myself.
"youre going to have to pay me child support when I get custody of leo." amy. (does that mean you now owe ME child support? :) )
"the answers still no"
"please"
"oh ok."
"that was easy... oops! *run*" mom and I
bedtime... love you guys.
two of our carts of stuff fell on Younes and I yesterday. they were stacked badly. I went to see Jamie (store manager) about my badge and talked to Randy (manages all 3 stores.. boss of jamie) and he called M&M to chew them out for endangering his employees and damaged goods for sale. i felt special. he said to call him ANYtime somethings wrong with truck. and he complained about the normal drivers sub being late and such.. because a half hour late truck could cost us 4 hours of sale loss on an item.
then theres mom and dads. i sleep. watch tv. complain. eat. and use the computer / play guitar hero when noones home. noone is ever home.
my apt: havent been there for a week. Ben IMed me because he had noone to see fireworks with and told me to come home. im like... uhh... no car.
leo gets me out every so often. if anyones helped me most its him. absolutely. michael talks to me. Davida talks to me. alyssa.. it helps. im just lonely.
oh and im going crazy knowing how much bigger i'd be if i were pulling truck like i am..but on T. and how much easier my job would be then. grr. Back to the health center monday or tuesday. will get letter, fax to doctor. schedule an appt for asap and take that day off work. goal: T-asap.
dads... calmer around me. mom says he probably knows and is freaking out. And give him a little time before i let him talk. maybe thats aprt of why hes going so muts right now. he told everyone at work he's taking a month off.. going on sabbatical. im TERRIFIED he'll lose his job...
she says he hastn kicked me out yet..maybe itll be ok.
im gunna go nap pre-work. work 11p-3p tonight/tomorrow. i have 29.5 hours now so that'll give me.. 15.5 more. because ill take a half. 5 hours over time in 4 shifts.. yeah! woo me!
things i found:
"i dont like myself.. that doesnt affect how much I like you, at least not negatively. Maybe then i like you more? I know I love you at my best, and my worst. and I function best when I'm needed. Need me, and I'll be the healthiest person in the world. " myself.
"youre going to have to pay me child support when I get custody of leo." amy. (does that mean you now owe ME child support? :) )
"the answers still no"
"please"
"oh ok."
"that was easy... oops! *run*" mom and I
bedtime... love you guys.