In brief
My mom's not going to regain full lucidity. The NG tube is painful to put in, and irritating once in.. she's not lucid enough to keep from pulling it out, which means the only way to prevent her from doing so would be restraints. No way in hell.
My brother J. got in tonight, he said he wanted to spend the night in hospital with Mom, since he won't sleep no matter where he is.
Tomorrow we're going back to the hospital, and will tell the docs palliative measures only. If we tell them not to continue with the blood transfusions, that'll mean no more than 4 days. She's currently getting 2 units a day; roughly a quarter of her total volume.
blimix has offered to come out and keep me company again for a few days, and I may well take him up on it, if that works out with the rest of my family, who are overwhelmed.