(no subject)

[light_eternal]

When I was a kid
There was no raw material
Like tin candy wrappers
There was no happiness
Like that metallic art.
That garbage was treasure in my pocket
But now I can't even change
These daily routines
These laundries
This chinese takout
These movies
Into that simple joy.

I've spent a quarter of a century
A quarter of a century
Worried
Wondering
Wasted
A quarter of a century
If I'd known then
I'd live this long
Without tasting life
I'd die.

21 and I loved you
Because you weren't like them.
23 and they're like us
Now they're just like us
And we're all fighting
Not to be each other or ourselves.

I've spent a quarter of a century
Worried
Wondering
Wasting a quarter of a century
Thinking about dreams
Without ever leaving this chair
When I could be there.

24 and I resent you
For passing keys
To unlock the doors I shut.
I am the invisible fence
That holds myself
As I scream let me out.
I am the invisible arm
Restraining myself when
I feel wild with youth.
I am the invisible saboteur
That I hunt longingly for
To find the keys
Unlock that door
And breathe.

I've spent a quarter of a century
Worried
Wondering
Wasting a quarter of a century.