Locked to lucklessinlove

[light__of__day]

It was late morning, and Riza had been awake and about for several hours. She'd not approached Edward yet -- he said he would explain everything later, and it had seemed he was angry (not that she could blame him, honestly) for catching her talking to one of the Mustangs

Comments

[lucklessinlove]

Havoc needed to talk to someone, he wasn't sure what to do, and of course, his first choice was Hawkeye. He arrived at the apartments, not that long after waking for the day, since he had been up late because of the party and probably had a little too much to drink. He didn't want to hold off on this any longer though, because the sooner he took care of it the better. He hit the buzzer, waiting for Hawkeye to answer.

[light__of__day]

She opened the door and smiled when she saw him. "Havoc, please, come in."

[lucklessinlove]

"Hey Hawkeye" Havoc smiles as he steps in.

[light__of__day]

"I... uh..." She shut the door. "I hope you got my note. You were busy talking and... I really wasn't... I'm sorry for leaving, I think I'd overestimated how up to being social I am." She smiled, an apologetic, contrite look. "I'm sorry."

[lucklessinlove]

Havoc glances up and looks at her. He really hasn't thought about the idea of going home that much. "It's.. It's been five years since I disappeared" He hesitates, searching for the right words. "Five years is a long time, especially when I've only been here a couple of months"

[light__of__day]

"Oh..." She hesitated. "Is... what are you thinking?"

[lucklessinlove]

"I.. I'm not what to think right now" he admits. "I mean, I was walking back from working for the Colonel and hear someone another Mustang asking about me, and lo and behold it's the Mustang from my world." He sighs, "Hell, I don't even know if they know their way back, and even if they do I have friends here, people who are just as important to me as the ones from my world." He gives Hawkeye a look that clearly states that she is one of those people. "It's been five years, people move on, they change. I wouldn't be going back to the same Amestris."

[light__of__day]

It likely wasn't that apparent before how tense she'd become, but it was noticeable now as it evaporated. He wasn't leaving. The relief was tangible.

But still, she knew how disconcerting that would be, to realize how much time had passed at home.

"You do know whatever you'd decide, you'd have my support, right?"

[lucklessinlove]

"If it matters to you, then it's important." he's quiet a moment "Do you want to talk about it?"

[light__of__day]

"Not so much that I'd put you on the spot," she admitted. "It's just... there'a lot of stray threads I can't seem to clip, doors ajar I can't manage to close. It's still bleeding and seeping and raw." She rested her head against the back of the chair. "Even I'm not crazy enough not to realize there's nothing healthy left here anymore, like cell growth gone out of control into a cancerous mass."

And as with any cancer, if it wouldn't respond to treatments, couldn't be brought into remission, it would be fatal.

"The harder I try to let go... I suppose it's guilt. What right is there to move on, move forward, when I..." She shook her head. "It's my fault, the way it all went. I did everything wrong, and collapsed too soon, and abandoned him, and now I'm trying to leave him behind? I know I have to now, it's just taking longer than I'd like to find a way to shut those doors."

[lucklessinlove]

Havoc's silent a moment thinking, "It's not all your fault. He has control over his actions and could have done... something. " He sighs "You just need more time, different wounds take longer to heal, especially if you keep picking at them."

[light__of__day]

"I'm not trying to pick on them." She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm trying to do, honestly, or rather, what I am doing. I'm trying to let go and move on." Riza waved her hand. "I'll figure it out." Her smile was apologetic, a bit sheepish. "I really don't want you feeling put on the spot with anything I might say."