haha, something (kind of) deep...
yes, this is the first real entry in a while. there are too many thigns in my head anymore to keep track of so im going to write a few down (type... whatever).
i found out about something on friday that distirbed me more than i can express. something is happening to a little girl at my work and i can do nothing about it. only witness the after thought of it. i grew up babyistting and i LOVE (as we all know) kids. i cannot get it through my head what would possess someone to do something so horrible to a kid that will haunt them for the rest of their life. this is depressing thing number one.
i also found out about something on saturday (this i feel comfotable going into a little more detail about). a kid i grew up with (elementary school and 6th and 7th grade)and our moms were extremely good friends (a long time ago) has had some thigns happen to him over the past couple of years that totally suck. ryan and i started kindergarten together (as did my sister and his brother cody) and his family were some of the nicest people that ive ever met. anyways after 7th garde i didnt hear much about ryan b/c i moved schools but when my friend nicole started going to my church i started hearing about people from middle school again. so i called nicole on saturday and she told me that ryans dad had killed himself last weekend. about a year a go his parents divorced b/c his mom had an affair. i dont even know what to think. i cried almost all weekend about it. it really scared me, not because its death. but because ryan is all depressed now and stuff. like when alyssa died and anthony got all depressed... i cant handle that stuff. i just hope that after all of this is over (which really it will never be) that ryan and his brothers will be okay.
these have been the two major things on my mind since this weekend. im writing about them not so much to get them off my mind but to figure out what i think about the situations. and if im mean or moody these next few days dont think that im mad at you. im just ready for these feelings to blow over. i just feel helpless... liek there is nothing i can do to make this stuff better.
i found out about something on friday that distirbed me more than i can express. something is happening to a little girl at my work and i can do nothing about it. only witness the after thought of it. i grew up babyistting and i LOVE (as we all know) kids. i cannot get it through my head what would possess someone to do something so horrible to a kid that will haunt them for the rest of their life. this is depressing thing number one.
i also found out about something on saturday (this i feel comfotable going into a little more detail about). a kid i grew up with (elementary school and 6th and 7th grade)and our moms were extremely good friends (a long time ago) has had some thigns happen to him over the past couple of years that totally suck. ryan and i started kindergarten together (as did my sister and his brother cody) and his family were some of the nicest people that ive ever met. anyways after 7th garde i didnt hear much about ryan b/c i moved schools but when my friend nicole started going to my church i started hearing about people from middle school again. so i called nicole on saturday and she told me that ryans dad had killed himself last weekend. about a year a go his parents divorced b/c his mom had an affair. i dont even know what to think. i cried almost all weekend about it. it really scared me, not because its death. but because ryan is all depressed now and stuff. like when alyssa died and anthony got all depressed... i cant handle that stuff. i just hope that after all of this is over (which really it will never be) that ryan and his brothers will be okay.
these have been the two major things on my mind since this weekend. im writing about them not so much to get them off my mind but to figure out what i think about the situations. and if im mean or moody these next few days dont think that im mad at you. im just ready for these feelings to blow over. i just feel helpless... liek there is nothing i can do to make this stuff better.