What If
What If...
So less than 24 hours remain until I step out from the shadows and fulfill my promise. In some ways the last few months have flown by but in others it seemed like the contest couldn't come soon enough. Over the past 2 months I've really learned a lot about my resolve and perseverance.
I started this program the second week of January and during the 7 weeks I've encountered both highs and lows. The highs were of course when I hit all my reps and set new maxes, things that made the training more enjoyable. But they were countered by the lows of dieting and sacrifice.
For this competition I set to train with no regrets. No regrets. For me it meant I needed to cut out everything negative that would prevent me from achieving my goals. I stopped drinking after New Years and committed myself to training above all else. There would be no shortcuts. Along the way I took a lot of criticism from friends for "not being a man" and not drinking. At times I was befuddled how people who were out of shape and obviously couldn't understand the drive I had, could question my manhood while I was training establish my place in Drexel history. At times I was really perplexed because life is all about success and personally I expect to succeed at everything single thing I ever do. If I don't succeed at something it's because I didn't work hard enough. I couldn't understand how I was being questioned while training for the ultimate challenge in my life. Despite the animosity at times, I began to realize that everyone has their own priorities in life. If you don't live for your own priorities and try to live the way someone else wants you to live, you're really not living at all.
For me the only way to truly live was through sacrifice. When I look in the mirror, the only way I can respect who's looking back is if I know I have sacrificed and conducted myself with honor and integrity. I have my share of regrets in my life and in a lot of ways training for this competition helped ease some of the past regrets. Every winter when high school wrestling hits its peak I am remembered of the regrets I had in high school wrestling. I will always feel that I could have worked harder, I could have dieted better, I could have been mentally tougher. Over the last few months the feeling of losing the flag football championship has also weighed on me. Losing a championship by a point in the game that we had won is downright devastating. The feelings of not achieving everything possible can rip you apart. The question of "what if" will always sit with me so I knew the importance of this competition. You wish for a second chance more than anything else in the world. Just one more opportunity to get it right, to erase the regrets. Over the course of the training I was confronted with rumors of people being able to bench over 400, the sacrifice of dieting and a lot of mental uncertainties. I was able to persevere through it all. This really was my second chance.
I think you can tell a lot about the character of a man when he is against the wall. And believe me I was against the wall. I felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. As if training isn't hard enough, I was trying to increase my bench every workout while decreasing my calories and weight. Dieting takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I was getting criticized for trying to be a champion. But through it all I emerged hungry and driven.
Tomorrow I will no doubt be the favorite to win. But the fact of the matter is I trained as a challenger. I trained with no regrets and tomorrow regardless of the outcome I can be proud of the effort and not have to look back and wonder "what if."
Oh and all this may seem like I'm content right now but don't deceive yourself. Tomorrow at 6PM I'm going to be pissed off, driven, and ready to FUCKING DOMINATE. All this anguish and sacrifice leads up to one moment and I really don't think Drexel knows what's coming.
So less than 24 hours remain until I step out from the shadows and fulfill my promise. In some ways the last few months have flown by but in others it seemed like the contest couldn't come soon enough. Over the past 2 months I've really learned a lot about my resolve and perseverance.
I started this program the second week of January and during the 7 weeks I've encountered both highs and lows. The highs were of course when I hit all my reps and set new maxes, things that made the training more enjoyable. But they were countered by the lows of dieting and sacrifice.
For this competition I set to train with no regrets. No regrets. For me it meant I needed to cut out everything negative that would prevent me from achieving my goals. I stopped drinking after New Years and committed myself to training above all else. There would be no shortcuts. Along the way I took a lot of criticism from friends for "not being a man" and not drinking. At times I was befuddled how people who were out of shape and obviously couldn't understand the drive I had, could question my manhood while I was training establish my place in Drexel history. At times I was really perplexed because life is all about success and personally I expect to succeed at everything single thing I ever do. If I don't succeed at something it's because I didn't work hard enough. I couldn't understand how I was being questioned while training for the ultimate challenge in my life. Despite the animosity at times, I began to realize that everyone has their own priorities in life. If you don't live for your own priorities and try to live the way someone else wants you to live, you're really not living at all.
For me the only way to truly live was through sacrifice. When I look in the mirror, the only way I can respect who's looking back is if I know I have sacrificed and conducted myself with honor and integrity. I have my share of regrets in my life and in a lot of ways training for this competition helped ease some of the past regrets. Every winter when high school wrestling hits its peak I am remembered of the regrets I had in high school wrestling. I will always feel that I could have worked harder, I could have dieted better, I could have been mentally tougher. Over the last few months the feeling of losing the flag football championship has also weighed on me. Losing a championship by a point in the game that we had won is downright devastating. The feelings of not achieving everything possible can rip you apart. The question of "what if" will always sit with me so I knew the importance of this competition. You wish for a second chance more than anything else in the world. Just one more opportunity to get it right, to erase the regrets. Over the course of the training I was confronted with rumors of people being able to bench over 400, the sacrifice of dieting and a lot of mental uncertainties. I was able to persevere through it all. This really was my second chance.
I think you can tell a lot about the character of a man when he is against the wall. And believe me I was against the wall. I felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. As if training isn't hard enough, I was trying to increase my bench every workout while decreasing my calories and weight. Dieting takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I was getting criticized for trying to be a champion. But through it all I emerged hungry and driven.
Tomorrow I will no doubt be the favorite to win. But the fact of the matter is I trained as a challenger. I trained with no regrets and tomorrow regardless of the outcome I can be proud of the effort and not have to look back and wonder "what if."
Oh and all this may seem like I'm content right now but don't deceive yourself. Tomorrow at 6PM I'm going to be pissed off, driven, and ready to FUCKING DOMINATE. All this anguish and sacrifice leads up to one moment and I really don't think Drexel knows what's coming.