Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming the monster I used to be pinned under.
Here's the thing. I encourage everyone around me to have an open dialogue with me about their relationship with me, whether they like me, dislike me, don't understand, whatever. Here's the thing.
I may hear what you have to say, take a moment and be like "you know what you're right. That's prickish. I never thought of it as prickish before because of these life experiences I've had, but now that I've gotten your perspective, I see the light. I'm going to work on this." I might, if the circumstances are such, explain a way in which you were also prickish. If you happened to be. That does not mean that I disagree
I might hear what you have to say and think: "Sorry friend, I respect that you don't like this thing, but unfortunately this particular thing is this way because this is just me, and I don't want to change it."
Both of these things are healthy. It's okay to disagree with people's criticisms of you and just say "Nah man then I guess I'm just not for you" It's equally important to consider things about yourself you might not have known were dickish.
Here's the great big point though: I might say; "Yeah no buddy that's just how things are in my brain" But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the opportunity to be challenged. I might have emotions about being challenged, some of them might be anger. That doesn't mean that people can't talk things out.
People are fucking fickle. When you're peeling them out of the gutter, when you're useful to them; they love you. When you accidentally poison yourself by changing the dosage of your medication according to the dumbass recommendation of their doctor and lose your actual mind completely against your will? Yeah. Fuck you right in the ass and anything you ever did for me. Don't forget not to ever let me explain what was going on. Assume that I have had a complete and drastic change of character over a couple of weeks instead of maybe considering that my debilitating mental illness and the apparently incredibly dangerous medication I'm on for it are killing me. Maybe some concern, before scorn. But Nah.
Nice, guys. Nice.