Just one...
i feel so bad today. i want to scream. i want to cry. i want to cry till i cant breath anymore. but i cant, i feel numb to everything, i feel numb to my feelings. some days i feel so good its crazy and then twenty minutes later my whole world comes crashing down it seems. everything went wrong that could this weekend. travis gave me a sterling silver bracelet for christmas and he broke it. its not all his fault tho i told him it was stupid. we all say things we dont mean when were angry. i loveed that bracelet though. just bc travis gave it to me. the one thing that he gave to is gone now. it really meant alot to i shouldnt have said what i said and im sorry with all my heart. i was hurt deeply last nite by someone i love so much. no one understands that i am a sensitive person, im so sensitive that even the slightest thing said wrong by someone that means so much to me hurts like a brick fell on my chest. and nobody understands that. i am stuck under this rainy cloud today. and it has followed me around all day. i belive i am a severly depressed person. one thing goes wrong and i want to die.
One mean word out his mouth makes me want to crawl in a hole forever. one push of his hand makes me quiver all over. just one. remindes me of my younger days. the days when my father wasnt so nice to me. he has the same look in his eyes as my father did. the look of anger.
im really scared. ive already lost travis. hes gone. hes not comming back and theres nothing i can do. everyday of my life i wake up and look at the peices of my heart. i try to put them back together but theres so many peices its impossible. hes gone.
he thinks i am dependent on him. im not dependent i just love him, i love him so much i torture myself everyday just to be with him. i break my heart everyday over and over again just to love him. call me crazy but i would go through an eternity of pain and heartbreak just to love him im a lifetime. so yes i need him. i need him with every breath i breath. but only because i am crazy in love with him
One mean word out his mouth makes me want to crawl in a hole forever. one push of his hand makes me quiver all over. just one. remindes me of my younger days. the days when my father wasnt so nice to me. he has the same look in his eyes as my father did. the look of anger.
im really scared. ive already lost travis. hes gone. hes not comming back and theres nothing i can do. everyday of my life i wake up and look at the peices of my heart. i try to put them back together but theres so many peices its impossible. hes gone.
he thinks i am dependent on him. im not dependent i just love him, i love him so much i torture myself everyday just to be with him. i break my heart everyday over and over again just to love him. call me crazy but i would go through an eternity of pain and heartbreak just to love him im a lifetime. so yes i need him. i need him with every breath i breath. but only because i am crazy in love with him