all this pain you've put me through...
i never knew that i could ever feel like this...until i met you. then i realized how much i really cared. i held on for as long as i could. i never knew how much a guy could really hurt me until he hurt me the way he did. why do things have to end this way? its like he didn't even care at all..not even durin that one time of our lives..where i felt the closest to him. i love him soo much. hell always be in my heart..but why i know exactly how he is and what his past is but i still seem to care..and always manage to run back to him in the end. why do i let him put me through this? why do i even bother. i suck at life. i hate it so much. all these feelings that i feel right now. and all that is raging through my freakin head. i dont know what to do anymore. its like..why can a guy just have sex with a girl and then everything be okay as if it never happened..and then for girls sex is somethin so much more n somethin meaningful and soo emotional in the end. why can guys after sex look at you the same like ur just friends? but girls look at you differently like your so much more..like the love of my life maybe..WHY WHY WHY?! im going crazy with all these unanswered questions runnin in my mind. its like..hes here still but hes gonna be gone soon enough but i already feel like im loosin him? if i havent lost him already. what am i gonna do without him...:-/. i love you baby. and always will...but why?