More Rants. More Whines. Shocker I Know
So I've whined about this too much, period, but bear with me, I'm having a bad time of it right now.
Yesterday I mused that I was hurting worse than normal under a flood of endorphins. Holy crud was I right. When they faded mid-day they faded HARD.
I felt, and still feel like I've taken to helping people move large, heavy refrigerates down flights of stairs. It just hurts, and I want it to stop.
I mean, it's not even just that, when I have pressure on something for a while it screams in agony. My friggin' bra straps which aren't tight are feeling like someone has a slab of metal digging into my collar bone on either side. Petra stood on my calf for a bit last night and my whole leg started screaming. (This is the /light/ cat. I can pick her up easily with one hand.)
It's wearing me to a thread emotionally and it's definitely starting to tax my mum more than normal as the holidays approach.
And I don't know what to do.
She's getting onto me about religious healing and stuff, and about seeing another doctor because she doesn't trust mine.
I know I need to see a doctor other than a rheumatologist because I know my doctor can't figure this out, whatever it is, she's said it sounds like stress, but I wasn't stressed when it started.
But my mum doesn't trust her because her name sounds Indian, therefore she must be Hindu.
...
Wait. What mum? Please keep your racism out of my health issues, kay? And what does religion have to do with being a good doctor anyway?
So her doing this is making me almost feel like going to the general doctor she recommended is a betrayal of principles. It's not, I know this.
This doctor WOULD be a good general doctor for me because he's ALSO a rheumatologist, so he'd be more likely to keep the methotrexate(chemo pills) I have to take in mind with anything.
She wants me to switch to him entirely, of course, he's a baptist, which while she doesn't agree with is an acceptable difference in religion. *rolls eyes*
She's a good person. But she has some pretty major problems and most of them stem from religion. Go figure, huh?
Meh. I need to focus. And try to ignore the fact that I hurt so much. And get back to the gym since the weather change migraines seem to have eased a bit. But the hurting just doesn't make getting myself to go any easier.
I wish I knew what was wrong.
Yesterday I mused that I was hurting worse than normal under a flood of endorphins. Holy crud was I right. When they faded mid-day they faded HARD.
I felt, and still feel like I've taken to helping people move large, heavy refrigerates down flights of stairs. It just hurts, and I want it to stop.
I mean, it's not even just that, when I have pressure on something for a while it screams in agony. My friggin' bra straps which aren't tight are feeling like someone has a slab of metal digging into my collar bone on either side. Petra stood on my calf for a bit last night and my whole leg started screaming. (This is the /light/ cat. I can pick her up easily with one hand.)
It's wearing me to a thread emotionally and it's definitely starting to tax my mum more than normal as the holidays approach.
And I don't know what to do.
She's getting onto me about religious healing and stuff, and about seeing another doctor because she doesn't trust mine.
I know I need to see a doctor other than a rheumatologist because I know my doctor can't figure this out, whatever it is, she's said it sounds like stress, but I wasn't stressed when it started.
But my mum doesn't trust her because her name sounds Indian, therefore she must be Hindu.
...
Wait. What mum? Please keep your racism out of my health issues, kay? And what does religion have to do with being a good doctor anyway?
So her doing this is making me almost feel like going to the general doctor she recommended is a betrayal of principles. It's not, I know this.
This doctor WOULD be a good general doctor for me because he's ALSO a rheumatologist, so he'd be more likely to keep the methotrexate(chemo pills) I have to take in mind with anything.
She wants me to switch to him entirely, of course, he's a baptist, which while she doesn't agree with is an acceptable difference in religion. *rolls eyes*
She's a good person. But she has some pretty major problems and most of them stem from religion. Go figure, huh?
Meh. I need to focus. And try to ignore the fact that I hurt so much. And get back to the gym since the weather change migraines seem to have eased a bit. But the hurting just doesn't make getting myself to go any easier.
I wish I knew what was wrong.