Act of Play - Leave Me At The Roadside
Series: Act of Play
Title: Leave Me at the Roadside?
Chapter: 1 Of 2
Word Count: 2713
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The title is being politely borrowed from Rise Against. This is, obviously, fake and did not happen. I am merely borrowing the names and faces of real life people and none of this is meant in any way to harm their reputation. This is a work of fiction and nothing contained within is thought to be real.
Warning: Contains various remarks to sensitive material. The characters grew their own way and there are hints to events and/or diseases that I had not planned on; as of now, I have not planned to dig into these aspects but that does not mean that the character’s will force me to follow through.
Previous parts: Are We Feeling Awkward Yet?
A/N: Written for Jellicle’s Ugly Duckling bunny. (And it has now morphed out of control and I’m more than happy that it did... because it’s been way too long that I’ve been able to write anything of substantial length.)
Summary: He had figured it would be easy to slip past everything and everyone; figured that with all the weight loss, he didn’t look like the same person. Then why is everyone noticing him, remembering him? And what made Jared change?
At first, he was slightly surprised at how empty the bar was. Who passes up the chance for live music? Well, when the band started singing that's why he was only slightly surprised because this little country town was just not made for the harsh lyrics and heavy guitar. Though, he did remember a lot more people that would have been interested in this band. Or, at least, they looked like they would be into it.
Who knew, really? It's not like he was brilliant at judging people by how they dressed. Not like he actually talked to them during high school. Admittedly, that might have saved him some grief. The freaks got it worse than any fatty.
At least, that was from his experience. He couldn't really speak about other schools… or if they saw it the same way as he had. Who knew, really? It was all a matter of perception anyhow.
No one had called him a fag to his face while he was there. That only came up after he left.
They probably got out of this little town as soon as they graduated, though; just like him, really. Except he's back for an unknown amount of time
The singer was more than happy to see Jared there and he was more than happy to knock back a few beers. One moment she's hugging Jared, then the next she's ordering him to her graduation. Honestly, he felt slightly sorry for Jared because she really didn't give him any say-so in the matter. Hell, he didn't even get to put a stuttered but in there.
And who wants to go back to their old high school? With teachers bugging you, asking you how you have been and if you're in college and other useless things.
He couldn't help but give a small smile to Jared as the taller man fell down into a chair beside him. He looked completely worn out. "That girl can talk a mile a minute. And if you try to get any words in, she only talks faster."
He laughed with Jared and decided to ignore the fact that Jared thought it appropriate to throw an arm over his shoulder.
Actually, he'd given up. Maybe it was the beers but at the moment it seemed clear that if Jared wanted to be friendly with him, he had no say in it. None. No use fighting. An evil smirk fell on his face for a moment as he imagined Jared's reaction if he just decided to grab his crotch right here. Though, he could only sigh softly because at the moment that would be particularly cruel.
Not to mention, that for some God forbidden reason, he had let Jared drive him here, leaving his only escape route parked neatly in Momma's driveway.
No one could ever accuse him of being smart.
"She's a good singer, when she's not screaming." Jensen mumbled softly, taking another drink from his beer. It took him a bit to realize that that came out wrong. "I mean it's still good for the music but…"
He was surprised when all Jared did was laugh. If he hadn't seen the look on Jared's face back in the bar when Steve had been hassling him, he was sure he'd be convinced that Jared didn't do any emotions other than happy. The weird ass.
"She used to only sing. Back when her and Jake were still together, he was the screamer of the band."
Shit. "She was Jake's girl?" Fuck.
Hadn't he said earlier that he knew when to change the subject? Obviously, he lied to himself because, should he really be talking about the guy's kid brother? He wasn't cruel; he did not want to see if he could tear that smile from Jared's face. He'd slap himself in the face if he wasn't sure that he'd look completely insane.
He could always blame it on the beers though… if Jared asked why he was smacking himself all he'd have to say was he was trying to scratch his nose or some other kind of bullshit. Though, then the big guy might take it upon himself to say he'd had enough to drink… and that, that just wouldn't do.
"Well, according to her, they're still dating but he's… on the fence about it." And there it went. The nice smile that was always there was gone and he was the reason. Damn moron. Yeah, he had every right to call himself names at the moment. He was pretty sure his old shrink wouldn't disagree with it, at the moment, either. "That's where Steve messed up. He went after someone who wasn't alone. Jake had friends, even a girl; they just weren't in the crowd that Steve saw."
Okay, now he didn't feel so damn guilty for making the guy frown. That hurt. He had friends… well, he had a friend. And he wasn't alone for Christ's sake, he was very happy with his one friend and his mom.
Uh-huh. Alex was right, that sounds pathetic.
"Dude, Jared." Thank you, God, for sending Tara. Jensen was pretty sure that they shouldn't be left to their own devices. Not when they were mixing beer in with it. Apparently, it would lead to heart to hearts… and those just weren't fun when he was trying to… not give in to Jared's smile? Great. "The guys sent me over, they wanna know if you'll buy them a drink yet."
Jensen felt as if he should send another thank you up to heaven because the smile was back and it was a nice smile. And, and it meant that the depressing topic was over and could be put into the 'never discuss again' bin.
"You know I won't. You guys want to drink, you gotta do it the hard way. Same as I had to."
"See, we knew you would say no so the guys told me to ask you if you were okay with me exchanging hand jobs for beer."
Jensen stiffened at that, pulling his cheek in-between his teeth and chewing ever so lightly. Jared's laugh even sounded a bit empty but that could easily just being his mind playing some empty tricks. It liked to do that sometimes. "There's a store down on tenth. Old man with a moustache never cards."
The smile that filled her face wasn't enough to make him relax even a little bit but the way she wrapped her arms around Jared and thanked him helped. It forced Jared to take his arm off of Jensen's shoulders. At the moment, he wasn't feeling so fond of being touched.
"Oh hey, dude, I remember you." Oh great. Just perfect, he says he doesn't wanna be touched and now he's got an eighteen year old girl grabbing at his cheeks like he was still five. "You're way too skinny now. You know that? I thought you were a cutie pie with the little extra weight. Davey is bigger than you and that boy is a fucking stick. All he does is eat leaves." He quickly decided that it did nothing for his confidence for people to be recognizing him. Nothing at all, because, really, he didn't believe he looked the same and if he did… dear Lord. He might as well get an office job if he looked the same.
Pulling back didn't stop her from patting his cheek but thankfully she turned and left right after her little comment. The smart ass. She was just a bit too much on the aggressive side for him to agree to go to another show.
Alex was a different story. She wiggled her way in with John. Alex gave that girl a run for her money on being aggressive. Or maybe it was just a go get 'em attitude… or whatever girls called it.
Anyways, he was not too skinny. He was just fine the way he was now. He had good options in the plays and no extra weight flapping about here and there. It was the truth.
"She's right." Jared said softly, leaning back as if now he could relax. Jensen wasn't so sure she wouldn't pop out of thin air in another five minutes though. "You're too skinny."
Of course the bastard has to agree with her. As if it's any of their business if he was skinny. Hell, it wasn't any of Jared's business. None what so ever. Good gracious, next everyone would be asking for his exact weight so they could stuff his face with food. Momma had always told him that he couldn't please everyone. Well, it sure as hell seemed like he couldn't please anyone. Period. He wasn't good enough when he was fat. And now, now he was too skinny. He just couldn't win.
He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed it a bit too roughly. This was going be a long night. A very long night.
---
Jensen had made a brand new pitcher of iced tea before he left. She hadn't even had to ask him because he knew that's what she liked to serve when it was still hot outside. At the moment it looked like winter just might skip them over this year; the heat had yet to dissipate. She smiled politely as she sat down at the table, pouring Joanne a cup first before moving onto her own.
"Jared's always bragging about how good you cook. He's convinced I don't know how to cook a thing." Joanne said courteously, smiling as she took a sip, "he doesn't realize I had to cook before I met his father."
"So your husband does all the cooking? That would be a blessing."
The other woman laughed softly while nodding her head, "Yes, yes he does. He's the sort of person who loves learning new things. He took a few cooking classes while Jared was still young. Since he cooked better than me after that, it was easy to get him to cook every night."
"You're a teacher, right? You two must make a perfect couple."
She kept the polite smile on her face, taking a quick glance at the mirror to make sure her make-up and hair were still decent looking. She had stopped fussing with her hair a while ago but it didn't seem like she had lost her touch with it. The damned illness made it harder than it once was; her arms grew heavy so quickly at times. Just doing the simple hairstyle she was now sporting had made it feel like she had just stood up straightening her cousin's hair for two hours.
The make up had been much easier to complete. She never wore much. Never had to, really. Just enough to accent certain aspect and then she was fine to go. And, thankfully, now she was graced with only a low number of wrinkles. Ones that actually made her feel like she had done good with the life she had used up so far. The crinkles at the edges of her eyes and the ones resting at the edge of her smile; laugh wrinkles, and she loved them.
"You'd think, wouldn't you? I'm lucky to have found him."
There was silence in the room for a little bit but both of them knew how to be polite, to make it seem as if it wasn't an odd silence that surrounded them. She watched as Joanna placed her cup down, her free, thin hand moving to smooth the wrinkles in her dress. "You were at the trial. I remember seeing you, everyday at the back of the courtroom. I didn't realize until Jared…" Joanna took a small breath and she just smiled at her, praying that she was portraying the right image. That she was okay with hearing what Joanna was going to ask. "How's your son doing? How… is Jensen doing alright?"
She placed her glass down as well, moving her hands to rest in her lap. "He's doing… he's better. He's still healing, really. I see his anger sometimes, most of the time it's directed towards himself. There's a lot of things I see that I worry about, like his weight… but he's healing." She only took a small pause before continuing. Just enough to get her thoughts together. "How's Jake doing? Jared hasn't mentioned him in a while…"
"He's a sore spot for Jared. When it all came out it really hit Jared hard, seeing his brother like that. Jake, he…" She was really good at reading emotions. It was a good thing when she was in a house with only men. So all she did was move to sit next to Joanna and pat her hand, smiling gently. She knew all too well the effects Steve had on the families as well as the poor boys he attacked. "The hospital sent him away after his second attempt. Mark and I tried to fight them but it was for the best. Now we have him in a private institution. They say he's doing better. But he's angry at us for letting them take him in the first place. Jared was angry at us, too."
---
At first, he had expected to come home to two older women sipping margaritas and laughing. And Momma would have his hide if she ever even suspected that he was calling her an older woman. Though, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to use to describe them. It wasn't like he was being mean or rude with using the term. They are older than him. Not like he was saying they were old, just older.
Either way, you never use the word when referring to Momma.
So, for most of the night he had been expecting buzzed happiness when he returned. It wasn't until he was driving home that he realized that she couldn't drink while on all the medication that the doctor had prescribed her. Still, he was expecting to be greeted with hushed laughter.
He wasn't expecting to walk in on hushed whispers followed by guilty faces. So, the only sane response to such a situation was a stuttered, "Uh…" and that was all.
What else was there to do when they obviously weren't talking about a much younger version of himself peeing off the side of his bed. Because there'd be laughter if that was it.
"Jensen, babe," his mother began and that was a really bad start. His full name joined with babe never meant anything good. It meant that there was a very good chance that he wasn't going to like what was coming next. "Honey, I think it would be nice if you went to visit Jared's little brother."
Whoever said to never leave to woman together, alone, should have been more specific on how wrong it just was.
Previous Next
A/N:
Last update August 24th Dear goodness… it' s been a while, I'm so sorry for the long wait. -_- The connecting piece to this part should be finished with in two weeks. Hopefully sooner. But yeah, give me two weeks before you come after me =X I'm not sure any of you would believe that I have had pieces of this started since then? I just kept trashing how I started scenes. =X
Maybe I'll be lucky, and forcing myself to write out an actual conversation may help me. I'm not sure anyone can understand how difficult it was for me to get the conversation between the two mothers written and done with. I was so happy when that was done. I'm hoping that the scene came off with a sense of exchanging pleasantries at first and not the awkwardness I felt while writing it.
I had to do math at Five thirty in the morning with no sleep to try and figure out how old everyone is suppose to be. I guess it would have been smart to figure that out before I was writing but… it just occurred to me. Finding something to do math with was a journey in it's self. -_- God, I hope there's no mistakes. 20 bucks that my logic is all warped on how I figured out their ages.
This chapter was completely written to Roadside by Rise Against playing in the background. God bless the repeat option. Oh… and Helena by The Misfits. Demented ass song, so lovely.
Title: Leave Me at the Roadside?
Chapter: 1 Of 2
Word Count: 2713
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The title is being politely borrowed from Rise Against. This is, obviously, fake and did not happen. I am merely borrowing the names and faces of real life people and none of this is meant in any way to harm their reputation. This is a work of fiction and nothing contained within is thought to be real.
Warning: Contains various remarks to sensitive material. The characters grew their own way and there are hints to events and/or diseases that I had not planned on; as of now, I have not planned to dig into these aspects but that does not mean that the character’s will force me to follow through.
Previous parts: Are We Feeling Awkward Yet?
A/N: Written for Jellicle’s Ugly Duckling bunny. (And it has now morphed out of control and I’m more than happy that it did... because it’s been way too long that I’ve been able to write anything of substantial length.)
Summary: He had figured it would be easy to slip past everything and everyone; figured that with all the weight loss, he didn’t look like the same person. Then why is everyone noticing him, remembering him? And what made Jared change?
At first, he was slightly surprised at how empty the bar was. Who passes up the chance for live music? Well, when the band started singing that's why he was only slightly surprised because this little country town was just not made for the harsh lyrics and heavy guitar. Though, he did remember a lot more people that would have been interested in this band. Or, at least, they looked like they would be into it.
Who knew, really? It's not like he was brilliant at judging people by how they dressed. Not like he actually talked to them during high school. Admittedly, that might have saved him some grief. The freaks got it worse than any fatty.
At least, that was from his experience. He couldn't really speak about other schools… or if they saw it the same way as he had. Who knew, really? It was all a matter of perception anyhow.
No one had called him a fag to his face while he was there. That only came up after he left.
They probably got out of this little town as soon as they graduated, though; just like him, really. Except he's back for an unknown amount of time
The singer was more than happy to see Jared there and he was more than happy to knock back a few beers. One moment she's hugging Jared, then the next she's ordering him to her graduation. Honestly, he felt slightly sorry for Jared because she really didn't give him any say-so in the matter. Hell, he didn't even get to put a stuttered but in there.
And who wants to go back to their old high school? With teachers bugging you, asking you how you have been and if you're in college and other useless things.
He couldn't help but give a small smile to Jared as the taller man fell down into a chair beside him. He looked completely worn out. "That girl can talk a mile a minute. And if you try to get any words in, she only talks faster."
He laughed with Jared and decided to ignore the fact that Jared thought it appropriate to throw an arm over his shoulder.
Actually, he'd given up. Maybe it was the beers but at the moment it seemed clear that if Jared wanted to be friendly with him, he had no say in it. None. No use fighting. An evil smirk fell on his face for a moment as he imagined Jared's reaction if he just decided to grab his crotch right here. Though, he could only sigh softly because at the moment that would be particularly cruel.
Not to mention, that for some God forbidden reason, he had let Jared drive him here, leaving his only escape route parked neatly in Momma's driveway.
No one could ever accuse him of being smart.
"She's a good singer, when she's not screaming." Jensen mumbled softly, taking another drink from his beer. It took him a bit to realize that that came out wrong. "I mean it's still good for the music but…"
He was surprised when all Jared did was laugh. If he hadn't seen the look on Jared's face back in the bar when Steve had been hassling him, he was sure he'd be convinced that Jared didn't do any emotions other than happy. The weird ass.
"She used to only sing. Back when her and Jake were still together, he was the screamer of the band."
Shit. "She was Jake's girl?" Fuck.
Hadn't he said earlier that he knew when to change the subject? Obviously, he lied to himself because, should he really be talking about the guy's kid brother? He wasn't cruel; he did not want to see if he could tear that smile from Jared's face. He'd slap himself in the face if he wasn't sure that he'd look completely insane.
He could always blame it on the beers though… if Jared asked why he was smacking himself all he'd have to say was he was trying to scratch his nose or some other kind of bullshit. Though, then the big guy might take it upon himself to say he'd had enough to drink… and that, that just wouldn't do.
"Well, according to her, they're still dating but he's… on the fence about it." And there it went. The nice smile that was always there was gone and he was the reason. Damn moron. Yeah, he had every right to call himself names at the moment. He was pretty sure his old shrink wouldn't disagree with it, at the moment, either. "That's where Steve messed up. He went after someone who wasn't alone. Jake had friends, even a girl; they just weren't in the crowd that Steve saw."
Okay, now he didn't feel so damn guilty for making the guy frown. That hurt. He had friends… well, he had a friend. And he wasn't alone for Christ's sake, he was very happy with his one friend and his mom.
Uh-huh. Alex was right, that sounds pathetic.
"Dude, Jared." Thank you, God, for sending Tara. Jensen was pretty sure that they shouldn't be left to their own devices. Not when they were mixing beer in with it. Apparently, it would lead to heart to hearts… and those just weren't fun when he was trying to… not give in to Jared's smile? Great. "The guys sent me over, they wanna know if you'll buy them a drink yet."
Jensen felt as if he should send another thank you up to heaven because the smile was back and it was a nice smile. And, and it meant that the depressing topic was over and could be put into the 'never discuss again' bin.
"You know I won't. You guys want to drink, you gotta do it the hard way. Same as I had to."
"See, we knew you would say no so the guys told me to ask you if you were okay with me exchanging hand jobs for beer."
Jensen stiffened at that, pulling his cheek in-between his teeth and chewing ever so lightly. Jared's laugh even sounded a bit empty but that could easily just being his mind playing some empty tricks. It liked to do that sometimes. "There's a store down on tenth. Old man with a moustache never cards."
The smile that filled her face wasn't enough to make him relax even a little bit but the way she wrapped her arms around Jared and thanked him helped. It forced Jared to take his arm off of Jensen's shoulders. At the moment, he wasn't feeling so fond of being touched.
"Oh hey, dude, I remember you." Oh great. Just perfect, he says he doesn't wanna be touched and now he's got an eighteen year old girl grabbing at his cheeks like he was still five. "You're way too skinny now. You know that? I thought you were a cutie pie with the little extra weight. Davey is bigger than you and that boy is a fucking stick. All he does is eat leaves." He quickly decided that it did nothing for his confidence for people to be recognizing him. Nothing at all, because, really, he didn't believe he looked the same and if he did… dear Lord. He might as well get an office job if he looked the same.
Pulling back didn't stop her from patting his cheek but thankfully she turned and left right after her little comment. The smart ass. She was just a bit too much on the aggressive side for him to agree to go to another show.
Alex was a different story. She wiggled her way in with John. Alex gave that girl a run for her money on being aggressive. Or maybe it was just a go get 'em attitude… or whatever girls called it.
Anyways, he was not too skinny. He was just fine the way he was now. He had good options in the plays and no extra weight flapping about here and there. It was the truth.
"She's right." Jared said softly, leaning back as if now he could relax. Jensen wasn't so sure she wouldn't pop out of thin air in another five minutes though. "You're too skinny."
Of course the bastard has to agree with her. As if it's any of their business if he was skinny. Hell, it wasn't any of Jared's business. None what so ever. Good gracious, next everyone would be asking for his exact weight so they could stuff his face with food. Momma had always told him that he couldn't please everyone. Well, it sure as hell seemed like he couldn't please anyone. Period. He wasn't good enough when he was fat. And now, now he was too skinny. He just couldn't win.
He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed it a bit too roughly. This was going be a long night. A very long night.
---
Jensen had made a brand new pitcher of iced tea before he left. She hadn't even had to ask him because he knew that's what she liked to serve when it was still hot outside. At the moment it looked like winter just might skip them over this year; the heat had yet to dissipate. She smiled politely as she sat down at the table, pouring Joanne a cup first before moving onto her own.
"Jared's always bragging about how good you cook. He's convinced I don't know how to cook a thing." Joanne said courteously, smiling as she took a sip, "he doesn't realize I had to cook before I met his father."
"So your husband does all the cooking? That would be a blessing."
The other woman laughed softly while nodding her head, "Yes, yes he does. He's the sort of person who loves learning new things. He took a few cooking classes while Jared was still young. Since he cooked better than me after that, it was easy to get him to cook every night."
"You're a teacher, right? You two must make a perfect couple."
She kept the polite smile on her face, taking a quick glance at the mirror to make sure her make-up and hair were still decent looking. She had stopped fussing with her hair a while ago but it didn't seem like she had lost her touch with it. The damned illness made it harder than it once was; her arms grew heavy so quickly at times. Just doing the simple hairstyle she was now sporting had made it feel like she had just stood up straightening her cousin's hair for two hours.
The make up had been much easier to complete. She never wore much. Never had to, really. Just enough to accent certain aspect and then she was fine to go. And, thankfully, now she was graced with only a low number of wrinkles. Ones that actually made her feel like she had done good with the life she had used up so far. The crinkles at the edges of her eyes and the ones resting at the edge of her smile; laugh wrinkles, and she loved them.
"You'd think, wouldn't you? I'm lucky to have found him."
There was silence in the room for a little bit but both of them knew how to be polite, to make it seem as if it wasn't an odd silence that surrounded them. She watched as Joanna placed her cup down, her free, thin hand moving to smooth the wrinkles in her dress. "You were at the trial. I remember seeing you, everyday at the back of the courtroom. I didn't realize until Jared…" Joanna took a small breath and she just smiled at her, praying that she was portraying the right image. That she was okay with hearing what Joanna was going to ask. "How's your son doing? How… is Jensen doing alright?"
She placed her glass down as well, moving her hands to rest in her lap. "He's doing… he's better. He's still healing, really. I see his anger sometimes, most of the time it's directed towards himself. There's a lot of things I see that I worry about, like his weight… but he's healing." She only took a small pause before continuing. Just enough to get her thoughts together. "How's Jake doing? Jared hasn't mentioned him in a while…"
"He's a sore spot for Jared. When it all came out it really hit Jared hard, seeing his brother like that. Jake, he…" She was really good at reading emotions. It was a good thing when she was in a house with only men. So all she did was move to sit next to Joanna and pat her hand, smiling gently. She knew all too well the effects Steve had on the families as well as the poor boys he attacked. "The hospital sent him away after his second attempt. Mark and I tried to fight them but it was for the best. Now we have him in a private institution. They say he's doing better. But he's angry at us for letting them take him in the first place. Jared was angry at us, too."
---
At first, he had expected to come home to two older women sipping margaritas and laughing. And Momma would have his hide if she ever even suspected that he was calling her an older woman. Though, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to use to describe them. It wasn't like he was being mean or rude with using the term. They are older than him. Not like he was saying they were old, just older.
Either way, you never use the word when referring to Momma.
So, for most of the night he had been expecting buzzed happiness when he returned. It wasn't until he was driving home that he realized that she couldn't drink while on all the medication that the doctor had prescribed her. Still, he was expecting to be greeted with hushed laughter.
He wasn't expecting to walk in on hushed whispers followed by guilty faces. So, the only sane response to such a situation was a stuttered, "Uh…" and that was all.
What else was there to do when they obviously weren't talking about a much younger version of himself peeing off the side of his bed. Because there'd be laughter if that was it.
"Jensen, babe," his mother began and that was a really bad start. His full name joined with babe never meant anything good. It meant that there was a very good chance that he wasn't going to like what was coming next. "Honey, I think it would be nice if you went to visit Jared's little brother."
Whoever said to never leave to woman together, alone, should have been more specific on how wrong it just was.
Previous Next
A/N:
Last update August 24th Dear goodness… it' s been a while, I'm so sorry for the long wait. -_- The connecting piece to this part should be finished with in two weeks. Hopefully sooner. But yeah, give me two weeks before you come after me =X I'm not sure any of you would believe that I have had pieces of this started since then? I just kept trashing how I started scenes. =X
Maybe I'll be lucky, and forcing myself to write out an actual conversation may help me. I'm not sure anyone can understand how difficult it was for me to get the conversation between the two mothers written and done with. I was so happy when that was done. I'm hoping that the scene came off with a sense of exchanging pleasantries at first and not the awkwardness I felt while writing it.
I had to do math at Five thirty in the morning with no sleep to try and figure out how old everyone is suppose to be. I guess it would have been smart to figure that out before I was writing but… it just occurred to me. Finding something to do math with was a journey in it's self. -_- God, I hope there's no mistakes. 20 bucks that my logic is all warped on how I figured out their ages.
This chapter was completely written to Roadside by Rise Against playing in the background. God bless the repeat option. Oh… and Helena by The Misfits. Demented ass song, so lovely.