3 years
i ask myself.. how. how can someone be with somebody for three years? this doesn't even sound like a long time in the grand scheme of things.. but to me- its sounds like an eternity. and it just makes me sad about my current situation.. the off and on... the lack of reassurance. it hurts. and i am taking "full advantage" of being single i guess you could say.. but at what cost? that's not me. i am not the girl who waits around for someone to wisen up and take her back. i am not the person who secretly hopes one day that this time around she will say she wants to actually try. that is not me.. so how did i get to this place? i have been trying for 9 1/2 months now to prove my love and myself to this person.. why do i have to PROVE it? why can't i just give it? why can't she just want it? why does she have to be so worried all the time.. her worrying shes going to break my heart IS breaking it.. slowly.. but definitely breaking it.. and i know who i am.. i know the good and the bad.. i know i am not perfect... but i didn't know one had to be when you love someone.. and i am just tired of waiting and waiting and breaking bits of me off slowly and steadily.. what is going to be left of me? i can meet people who enjoy me.. i have already done it.. and i know people who love all aspects of me.. because they know the core of me- they see WHO i am and LOVE me for it. and.. i guess that is just not something you can prove.. that's just something that someone does.. until next time.