So i embarrass her..... or i am myself

Nov 09, 2004 10:37

yeah, now i remember what my mom said about pageants being political.....

so we show up at our first practice, me dressed in black as usual, with my black lined lips of ruby red and my hair black as the ace of spades with just enough color to shine blue under the ultraviolent rays..... pale painted face reaking of a goth wannabe....(so the meme says - hmmphttt im not a wanna be what do those meme's know?)

anywho... in front of me are all these preppy mom's hair all perfectly done, god aweful Mary Kay makeup the room reaking of Avon extrodinaire..... diamond rings on every finger, driving up in Mercedez Benzs and the essance of snobbish snooty bitches.... my daughter is gonna win your daughter is a piece of shit found on the bottom of my daughters 500.00 high heels! I take a deep breath and remember the one trait about me that i am most proud of... judge not of others no matter what their mold of normalcy is.. you are you they are they and we can all be ourselves....i dont judge people for being whom they are, whether it is the blue spiked hair transvestite, the vampire with her fangs in or the khaki wearing polo shirt wearing "white color" male.. i believe we all have the right to be what we wanna be and i love everyone for doing just that.. being yourself

several moms snuffed their noses as i walked up, ignoring me and one mother even moved off the row i was sitting on to be away from me (i took a shower damn it i didnt stink)

after the practice, chatting with ericka in her "i want to win so bad i can taste it 14 year old voice" she said mom, dont be upset with me but i need to ask you a favor...can you just dress normal tomorrow night, and most importantly on Saturday, will you not be so "goth'd out?" can you just be.... well... my mom, not my gothic mom...you're beautiful and i love you, but these people know the judges, these girls have been in tons of pageants, and i want to win, i want their eyes to be on me, not on my "gothy mom".... *can you insert a little heart breaking sound here" not because she asked me to "tone down" but that she was pressured by her peers to do so......So... the one thing i believe in more than anything else is that one must be ones self and not change to fit into someone else's mold of normalcy.... one must be proud of the decision one makes on how they look, dress, act... and if you cant be proud around everyone then you are just a wanna be.... so what do i do? do i go normal me? do i ask my friends to dress "calm" do i pretend for one night for her? and what does that say for me if i do? it says im fake, that im ashamed of who i am.... *sighs*......or does it say I'm a good mother that wants to do everything i can to assure i dont embarrass my child, even if it means faking it for a few hours?
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