(no subject)
I am starting to realize that not hanging around anyone can be rather boring. It feels like all I do anymore is the same thing over and over. Life is a routine, always. Wake up, go to class, come home, play games, sleep. Sometimes add homework and my job in. What a life! It's not just the boredom either. It's my sanity that gets tugged at, because of all the time I have to think about things. Sometimes I hate having a higher than average intelligence, it worsens it. I no longer get attached to the daily illusions that everyone else is part of, so I realize how much of my life is fake and real, as opposed to the typical happy person who is out there enjoying everything, because they simply don't know anything else. Morals are my latest issue there, because I figured out that no moral is anything but relative to how society has evolved. Society and morals are essentially two halves of the same coin, and neither pay up. Yet there are times when I wish I was ignorant, no matter how much the reasoning within me reviles such an idea.
I want more out of life. Some days I wish for nothing more than to drop college, drop living like I am, drop everything to get out and do what I really want to do in complete freedom. I am chained by society though, by the ways that people live, by paperwork and money, by meaningless jobs and wages, by houses filled with material crap, by relationships with family, friends, all kinds of people, by everything. It's like this weight that won't drop offf of my chest, and it suffocates me. I want more, I want to go out and pursue life, to study all sorts of various topics and gain knowledge, to change the way people are, to get rid of some governments (like ours), and add in new ones, to see things that I read about in books. But I can't. I stay where I am at, in a normal, boring life where the only thing different is what goes on in my head.
Then there is my head itself. I end up not being like most of the people I live around. Whether it's the partying fools, or the conservative moralists, both extremes are nothing, they enjoy only crap in life, because they are brought up to enjoy it. What then, makes me so different? I struggle to find out, and yet a part of me realizes that I will never know, and I will die questioning. My mind is insatiable, and I hate it. I dream of fantasy, and am grounded in reasonable reality. Two things that tear me up inside. I am surrounded by rules I can't abide by, yet force myself to, in order to please people. I can't please myself, because if I did, people would hate me.
So yeah, that's it for this months amusement, even though no one reads this besides a few people anymore....
Post Question: I really think that women should be able to be President in this country, and despite them being allowed to, no one ever thinks of women as a valuable asset in office. So, how many of you think that a woman should be elected next, instead of a man?
I want more out of life. Some days I wish for nothing more than to drop college, drop living like I am, drop everything to get out and do what I really want to do in complete freedom. I am chained by society though, by the ways that people live, by paperwork and money, by meaningless jobs and wages, by houses filled with material crap, by relationships with family, friends, all kinds of people, by everything. It's like this weight that won't drop offf of my chest, and it suffocates me. I want more, I want to go out and pursue life, to study all sorts of various topics and gain knowledge, to change the way people are, to get rid of some governments (like ours), and add in new ones, to see things that I read about in books. But I can't. I stay where I am at, in a normal, boring life where the only thing different is what goes on in my head.
Then there is my head itself. I end up not being like most of the people I live around. Whether it's the partying fools, or the conservative moralists, both extremes are nothing, they enjoy only crap in life, because they are brought up to enjoy it. What then, makes me so different? I struggle to find out, and yet a part of me realizes that I will never know, and I will die questioning. My mind is insatiable, and I hate it. I dream of fantasy, and am grounded in reasonable reality. Two things that tear me up inside. I am surrounded by rules I can't abide by, yet force myself to, in order to please people. I can't please myself, because if I did, people would hate me.
So yeah, that's it for this months amusement, even though no one reads this besides a few people anymore....
Post Question: I really think that women should be able to be President in this country, and despite them being allowed to, no one ever thinks of women as a valuable asset in office. So, how many of you think that a woman should be elected next, instead of a man?