Jun 25, 2003 00:14
i hate this shit. i am so fat. i am now the same as i used to be. lost 20 pounds in one summer. and now it's all back. all fucking back. and i don't know how to lose it again because i've got so many problems. it's not as easy as it used to be. now i'm just obssessed and my whole life just revolves around thinking about how i shouldn't eat, and as long as that's there, i can't do anything because the more u think, the worse it gets. is it worth it? getting all these problems just to be skinny? i'm suppposed to be all dramatic and say "it's not worth it. living ur life everyday with an ED and not being able to change it because that's the only way ur mind will think." but u know what, i don't care. because i would do anything to be skinny. the only funny thing is, i went through everything and all that happened was i'm not skinny anymore. yea, maybe i'm fucked up because i shouldn't care about being skinny or whatever, but u know what. this is how i think, and nothing is convincing me otherwise, so don't give me any bullcrap. if u don't care about how u look, good for u. seriously. i wish i was too. but i'm not, so don't say anything to me
and goddamn all u fucks who are skinny and say u need to lose weight. because u have no idea what ppl go through. it's one thing to be anorexic and actually think u'r fat when u'r skinny, but it's another to say it just cause u'r a jackass