Jan 28, 2007 05:43
It's weird how you think you've learned the lessons already, when they'll just come back to trip you up once again.
There's a sadness there, in the pulling away of a family, when I finally realize that instead of a daughter, I've slowly become an equal. And it's growing up, right? It's when I finally stop relying on them, falling back on them to comfort me, and I acknowledge the mutual need for comfort and sanctuary. We lead seperate lives; our days no longer intersect, and I'll no longer sit with you in the evening and wind down with you, I won't tell you the little things that irk me. Those times? Those were the times that made it home for me. I'm afraid I don't know yet how to make any other place my home. I am thankful for the perspective, to have come to learn about my parents as people, more than just their duties to guard and guide, but I sometimes wish I could still believe they're unflappable and unaffected. Would it be better to avoid this gradually-developed awareness of their mortality?
I suppose... why prepare for something that you can't even handle, should it come to pass? Does knowing mean you're giving up part of your childlike ignorance?