even the world is a carnivore.. and as it eats me alive.
As again I realize the world is on it's final breath, I wish I could squeeze all remaining air in it's lungs free. If this is life we've all failed. I can't believe how far i've come and yet how little i've seen and experienced. They always told me life was going to fly by like the wind mid sky dive as you've yet to pull your 'chute. We never believed them, we know it all... Our ignorance will be the end of us, sweet irony. We spend our whole lives focused on what we can obtain as far as material posession goes, and all the while time spent killing ourselves at the office is time spent away from what really matters. Well then, what really matters? To me, My relentless grasp of a sad little notion that somewhere someone holds a piece of myself in that which I need to be whole. I feel like there's some void in my life that I will never be able to fill until I finally get to see my life played back to me in bigscreen format to where I can finally understand what i've been doing wrong. We always seem to know what everyone else needs but are oblivious to our own. (needs) We always know who our friends should date, or what they should do with their lives it's always so much easier to give advice than to take it. Good friends getting caught up in relationships that burn out faster than a wick of a candle amidst a pool of gasoline. We pull a vail over our own eyes to mask ourselves from what truely matters until it is conveinient or benificial to ourselves. I'm so vain, so hypicritical, so hardheaded, so arrogant i'm everything I claim I'm not I'm nothing that I thought i'd be. I think I couldn't possibly care less. Who is there to impress?? A select few names come to mind and again I fucking laugh. These people I hold so high and place on pedestals in my mind are unworthy of the time and thought. If I could remove the peice of my brain that constantly forces myself to think of these "people" with a razorblade I would definately try. There has got to be blueprints for that somewhere online. If I could flip an offswitch on my brain I swear it'd mostly be turned to the off setting. I'm driving myself crazy.She was never worth the time or effort, she was never who I thought she was, she isn't worth another comparison, I wouldn't waste another word on her, she remains anonymous for purpose. Is everyone as miserable as me? so overdramatic this isn't how I really feel. Something I say to push thought of fact or fiction into gray area, it's no longer black and white. I will no longer wear my heart on my sleeve or emotions like a mask. Guilty by association only I know. Stereotyped beyond self recognition they'll never know what they're missing, I don't think i'll ever let them. As once again my mind runs away with itself i've lost focus, i've lost purpose, if I could hold on here any longer I couldn't find a reason why. Failure through non application.