Maybe I Am Depressed!?
I've suddenly gotten this horrible paranoia that nobody likes me. And this not fishing for love. I don't need a hundred comments saying 'we love you. we love you.' It's just this weird sort pervasive feeling that either people aren’t going to respond to my calls, e-mails, etc. or on the work side that whenever I say something people are just rolling their eyes when I turn my back. This all freaks me out. Not because I actually believe that it’s true (though it maybe true), but what it means for the state of my current mental health. I’m afraid my doctor is going to determine that I’m sick once again and that it’s time to medicate me permanently. I’ve been warned with my history of depression that the next time I had an ‘episode’ I would likely be on medication for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be medicated, but I don’t want to be crazy either. GOD!!!!!!!!!! This is no good, this is no good. Depressed with slight traces of paranoia. I’m a Bellevu case in the making.