Title: Omphalos Hypothesis
Authour: Miles/
lifelink Fandom: Suzumiya Haruhi
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1122
Summary: The irrationality of a thing is no argument against it's existence, rather the condition of it. Kyonism, and this too shall come to pass.
Authour's Notes: Um, yeah, I don't know either. This is leaning towards extraordinarily vague, but I do subscribe to the Kyon-ism theory with whatever parts of my heart are left. Enjoy~
Kyon thinks everything is right with the world. It's boring, sure, and sometimes it can be positively cruel, but that's how it is supposed to be; save the stories for the faerie-tales, the princesses for their castles in the sky, the dragons for your nightmares, and just live the best you can. There is nothing more to it that he can see and this is the way the world should work, not following the form of a delusional banter across the world, sky, and sea.
But still, he thinks sometimes, isn't something just a little bit off?
Who wrote these rules and why should we follow them, who's to say this is right?
And... wouldn't the world be just that much better if everything did exist?
But this is a lie, a fable for a dream, and so he turns in his bed to place his forehead to the icy wall,
And never stops thinking 'if only'.
o0o
Santa Clause appears on the television at Christmas time, each and every year, and a young Kyon (though this will not be his name for years) watches the programs with a glittering interest.
He's where all your holiday presents come from, his parents continue to kindly lie, this European tradition we have adopted as our own.
Kyon smiles and thinks him real.
And maybe he is.
o0o
The world of his middle school years is boring, but he thinks that's how it's supposed to be. His grades are average, his penmanship poor, his family kind and true, the normality of his era.
But it is such that you can not fault him for his wishes, as they can only be a normal desire.
If only supernatural beings existed, he thinks and logic destroys his dreams.
The road to cram school is long, a strait and crowded repetition of fact, and he gets swept up in a crowd of one million, and just who is he now?
The road home is soft and complacent and there is someone to talk to and maybe all is right with the world, in Sasaki's bitter witticisms and his callous remarks.
And still he wishes for more.
o0o
Haruhi is an inevitable storm, a relentless torrent of desire that makes his high school mind freeze with learned physics and quick disapproving words, the kind Sasaki would teach him in her continued caustic motions to his vaguely similar utterances.
This girl is different, so wanton in her wishes and wanting everything Kyon has since ceased to believe he ever desired, because it's childish fiction and he's not so much an adult that he can stand to have a dream that will never come to pass.
In this way, Haruhi is far stronger than anything he ever was. This slip of a girl who, in her bravado and steady mind, can make you forget the loose fit of her uniform or the tense line of her receding back, so desperate to find something better that this, better than her sorry self, she forgets sometimes that even dreams have a weight.
She doesn't know what she's got, Kyon thinks passingly through the cacophony of classroom.
The girl who could have the world, can only be happy with the things this universe can not provide. But that's just the point isn't it.
Sasaki jovial logic spins in his mind and he shakes it off. It's not pity he feels for this brave girl, in fact it might be closer to envy, however all this matters not, because the rules of this world are chiseled in Mayan stone blocks, eternal and amaranthine.
But still, he continues to think, it would be nice if her wish could be granted.
And perhaps it is only a small time afterward that the brigade is born.
o0o
Three years ago, Haruhi stood on a field plain and looked up at the stars with such a longing.
These are Kyon's star's now, the same as the one's in his own time, and he thinks,
All the time that passes for us is inconsequential to the world, and perhaps is an illusion in and of itself, with the way his friends can bend it.
But this too is mere idle conjecture, forgotten so when Haruhi (not his Haruhi, but so close) turns to him, in her moonlight and his shadow, and asks if he believes.
He want to say no, but what would it stop, this brave slip of a girl, so he says yes, because, despite his logic and his forgotten dreams, he would be a fool not to.
Of course they exist, Haruhi. He wants to say, but doesn't. You made it so.
(Koizumi calls her god, Nagato whispers her a temporal distortion, Asahina: a classified smile. In Kyon's world these are as clear to his as facts.)
So, she nods and thinks maybe. Maybe it's not such a fallacy after all, maybe it's truth, and maybe I'm insane but maybe I'm right.
And maybe, it is then that the world starts to move.
o0o
Kyon figures it out one day, when his patience is drifting and his heart is jack hammer soft.
There is only one truth to this world such that there must be a wrong party somewhere. In his child's world there is a black and white line and those who aren't correct can't make it. This is why the world functions best on it's theories rather than these forced laws, because it's breaking already.
He feels vaguely nauseous, vaguely hurt, vaguely terrified. Kyon's had his world inverted so many times before this that it shouldn't hurt anymore.
This, of course, doesn't change the fact that it does.
Sasaki taught him logic, Haruhi to be forever strong, but his existence has left a world of illogical bread crumbs and he is still so weak, even now when power solves nothing.
He remembers his corner seat, the sky, the girl, the mirrored glass and thinks:
It can't be like this, it can't, it can't.
And perhaps it never was.
o0o
Haruhi stops screaming one day when the air is muggy and her brigade is no where to be had.
Her chair swivels lightly on it's pivot, still creaking from misplaced funds as she twirls to the window and the beckoning of the freezing rain.
“Kyon, you believe me right?” she wavers, listing quietly in her spot.
His answer is on the tip of his tongue, urgent denial and scripted lies, but something about her makes him stop. Only for an instant, but even that is enough to change his heart.
“Yeah, Haruhi, I do.” he whispers and lets the world remain constant, forever perfect, always true.
And her smile might just be worth it, somehow.